All the fun, half the bruises: the Ben Wallace blow-up doll

by Matt Watson on Apr 5, 2006 3:36 PM EDT

Inflatable Ben comes in a box Remember when we mentioned how the Pistons don't have a lot of product endorsements? Well, fear not. Ben Wallace still may not have a shoe contract, but he does have a seven-foot tall, inflatable replica of himself for sale. Introducing the Inflatable Defender!

Why would you want a seven-foot tall inflatable Ben? I believe the question should be, why wouldn't you? Not every product lives up to its advertising, but this baby goes above and beyond. Life-size? Heck no, this baby is seven-feet tall! That's bigger than the real-thing with a couple of inches to spare!

And just think of how much your basketball game will benefit! From PlayAir's site:

Many professional basketball teams practice with over-sized basketball dummies. By shooting over and maneuvering around a 7-footer in practice, they know how to deal with tall defenders in games. So will you with the Inflatable Defender!

Sure, Inflatable Ben doesn't actually move, but just check out all of the drills the site says you can practice with him:

Inflatable Ben moves... kind of

Jump shots over Big Ben
Power lay-ups
Rebound and shoot
Dribble transitions
Shooting off a pick
Low post moves
Shooting over a moving defender
Catch and shoot

OK, so "shooting over a moving defender" entails having someone actually standing behind Inflatable Ben and lifting him in the air... but it's obviously totally better than actually playing with that other person alone! And should you feel the need, you can even dress up like Kazaam and elbow inflatable Ben in the mouth, and... get this... you won't even get your ass kicked!

Inflatable Ben shuts down Real-Life Ben

Wait a minute, are you not yet convinced that Inflatable Ben is worth $49.95? Well, that's because you haven't really seen him in action yet! Words cannot describe seeing this video of Inflatable Ben in action.

Did you just go watch the video? If so, you might be confused -- no, this is not a joke. That was not one of those fake Saturday Night Live commercials. Those kids were in fact doing dribble drills around a $50 blow-up doll. And yes, Inflatable Ben did draw a charge against that five-year-old, but no, the refs didn't blow the whistle because the refs hate Detroit.

If anyone out there actually buys an Inflatable Ben, please, please, please do us a favor by snapping a picture of you using him and submitting it to the Detroit Bad Boys picture pool.

Inflatable Defender [PlayAir]

(FYI, if you were one of those people that took advantage of Dime Magazine's super-cheap subscription offer a while back, you can see a small little article about Inflatable Ben on page 28. Thanks to Caroline and Don for the tip.)

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Comments

As I told Matt—this will be purchased, dressed in the true Piston Blue, and put on display in my front yard in Washington, DC for the playoffs.

…especially if that second round matchup against the ’Zards comes to pass.

by Ian Cameron on Apr 5, 2006 3:43 PM EDT reply actions

Honestly, I think this is the funniest thing to have happened in a long, long time.

“And yes, Inflatable Ben did draw a charge against that five-year-old, but no, the refs didn’t blow the whistle because the refs hate Detroit.”

I’m seriously welling up over here.

by Ian Cameron on Apr 5, 2006 4:00 PM EDT reply actions

Wow. That is hilarious. It looks like Ben’s feet don’t actually hit the ground, so maybe that makes up for the extra 3-4 inchesof height (plus his fro is in full effect). Awesome find!!

by julie on Apr 5, 2006 4:09 PM EDT reply actions

Oh my goodness so much to love! The “Fear the Fro” headband, the Inflatable Defender team vs. the Kids, I’m really trying to not burst out laughing in my darn cubicle!

Dude, those kids can shoot!

by Abbey on Apr 5, 2006 4:11 PM EDT reply actions

Dude!!! That is sweet!!! I think I’ll get it!!! I can shoot better than those kids though in the video. Cool thing though!!!

by J.D.M. on Apr 5, 2006 6:28 PM EDT reply actions

AWESOME is all I can say! Thanks Boys!

by Natalie on Apr 5, 2006 6:52 PM EDT reply actions

I saw this on the magazine too but the video is just CLASSIC. Especially the one where they used a whole team of Ben to guard the kids’ team..LOL.

They should make a mechanical/robot Rip or Chauncey for offense!!!

by Angela on Apr 5, 2006 8:56 PM EDT reply actions

All i know is right now i am saving my money in order to buy one of these as soon as possible. I think i can make the NBA if i practice with Ben enough

by Chewy on Apr 5, 2006 8:56 PM EDT reply actions

Great post! I can’t believe the video was for real. Hilarious. Now no offense to Ben, but instead of buying the half dozen dolls they used in the video, they should have used some of that money to hire a decent coach. Seriously, those kids are going to get destroyed in their first game if they only practice shooting over a stationary Ben, even if he is 7 feet tall.

by Dan on Apr 5, 2006 10:17 PM EDT reply actions

So Ian made this comment to me earlier today, and it bears repeating: If Inflatable Ben is “life-sized,” why is the real Ben dwarfed by Inflatable Ben in the picture?

by Matt Watson on Apr 5, 2006 11:00 PM EDT reply actions

Imagine in that video if — during the portion where all the kids are shooting Js over Ben — one kid was inexplicably blocked by stationary inflatable Ben. And then he slumped his shoulders, frowned, and walked off the court. Can you fathom how funny that would be? I mean, the tape is funny enough, but you get the sense that the director held back — just a bit.

by Ian Cameron on Apr 5, 2006 11:13 PM EDT reply actions

I just want everyone to know I just saw this on ESPN and I have just ordered it. We are celebrating with a kegger when he arives. I am anticipating a great time!!!

by Shelly on Apr 6, 2006 8:20 PM EDT reply actions

Bwaaaah!!

Totally agree that the block of the kid would have taken things to a whole new level. Either that or a cameo by Ron Artest…

by farlane on Apr 7, 2006 9:58 AM EDT reply actions

Oh, the shame. I finally got a chance to flip through my first issue of Dime magazine, find an article about the Inflatable Defender, and quickly post about it…only to discover that the entire free world already knew. I guess I chose the wrong week to crawl out from under my rock.

by basketbawful on Apr 11, 2006 11:27 PM EDT reply actions

I was at the Palace website ordering some new gear for the playoffs and I tried to order my own Big Ben Wallace. Now I have one!!!

by Kristen on Apr 30, 2006 12:09 PM EDT reply actions

Why can’t Ben get a shoe endorsement? This makes no sense…He is on his way to being the best All-Time Defender in History and his agent can’t broker a shoe endorsement. Ben, hire me, I will get you a deal!!!

Signed a Realtor looking to cross over into Sports for Ben!

by Dee on Apr 30, 2006 5:14 PM EDT reply actions