Small ball is really sheet ball.

Why is it sheet ball.

Because when you play small ball you play like crap
and flush your chances to win down the toilet.

Sheet ball not to be confused with Sheed ball.

However, the Pistons play a special brand of sheet ball

It is called Diva sheet ball

In this endeavor they are led by Richard RIP (may his game rest in peace with some other team) Hamilton.

In 2008 Detroit had the Tigers and Lions and now in 2009 it has Diva sheet ball.

I missed all the shenanigans. I found this article at Mlive…

http://www.mlive.com/pistons/index.ssf/2009/01/pistons_want_allen_iverson_to.html

So that’s what’s screwing up small ball??? Curry wants AI to shoot more. I think Curry’s brain is stuck in 2001… where his memories of AI when he played are somehow trumping his coaching eyeballs.

This got me thiking…

Sometime ago in Dumar’s office…. a la Hemmingway

’They’re lovely hills,’ Joe said. ‘They don’t really look like white elephants. I just meant the colouring of their skin through the trees.’

‘Should we have another drink?’

‘All right.’

The warm wind blew the bead curtain against the table.

‘The beer’s nice and cool,’ Curry said.

‘You know… AI’s lovely,’ Joe said.

’It’s really an awfully simple operation, Joe,’ Curry said. ’It’s not really an operation at all.’

Joe looked at the ground the table legs rested on.

‘I know you wouldn’t mind it, Joe. It’s really not anything."

‘Then what will we do afterwards?’

’We’ll be fine afterwards. Just like we were before.’

‘What makes you think so?’

’That’s the only thing that bothers us. It’s the only thing that’s made us unhappy.’

Joe looked at the bead curtain, put his hand out and took hold of two of the strings of beads.

‘And you think then we’ll be all right and be happy.’

‘I know we will. Yon don’t have to be afraid. I’ve known lots of people that have done it.’

‘So have I,’ said Joe. ‘And afterwards they were all so happy.’

‘Well,’ Curry said, ‘if you don’t want to you don’t have to. I wouldn’t have you do it if you didn’t want to. But I know it’s perfectly simple.’

‘And you really want to?’

‘I think it’s the best thing to do. But I don’t want you to do it if you don’t really want to.’

‘And if I do it you’ll be happy and things will be like they were and you’ll love me?’

‘I love you now. You know I love you.’

". . . there are periods of history when the visions of madmen and dope fiends are a better guide to reality than the common-sense interpretation of data available to the so-called normal mind. This is one such period, if you haven’t noticed already."

—Robert Anton Wilson, On Smallball

:: Slow Clap ::

It is at times like these I wish I enjoyed reading some of the classics. But I am grateful for the entertainment between classes.

“Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves you with small ball. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back.”

-The Buddah

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.

"Whenever you feel like criticizing any one," he told me, "just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had. They played small ball."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald, “The Great Small Ball”

“Smallball is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”

—Robert A. Heinlein

“The difference between sentiment and smallball is the following: sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a rabbit on the road. Smallball is when the same driver, when swerving away from the rabbit, hits a pedestrian.”

—Frank Herbert

I think the root of MC’s coaching woes is the fact that he was a 6’5" small forward.

From his point of view, this lineup isn’t small, it’s normal. In fact, it’s BIG to him! He’s got a guy at the 3 who is two inches taller than him!

Too bad MC’s not 6’8" or so.

I guess we can be glad he wasn’t a 7’ small forward, at least. Then we’d see a starting lineup featuring Kwame Brown at the 3.

"Smallball is patient; smallball is kind
and envies no one.
Smallball is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing smallball cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and smallball;
but the greatest of them all is smallball."

—God

Nicely done. The Grapes of Curry and For Whom the Small Balls Toll were my favorites so far.

I’ll try my hand:

“Small ball is all right for those who can handle the psychic overload. It’s like trying to carry a full garbage can on your back over a rushing river of piss.”

Charles Bukowski – Women (and Small Ball)

Then this ebony man declaring, “On with small ball!” fans left glaring
At the checkered clad decorum of the countenance it wore,—
“Though thy head be shined and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no maven,
Ghastly grim and certain craven wandering from the courtside floor:
Tell me what thy lordly coach is thinking with this small ball lore!”
    Quoth the Curry, “Nevermore.”

-Edgar Allan Poe “The Curry”

“We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is smallball.”

—Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Because I could not stop for Curry
He Kindly Stopped for Me
The Loud Suit Held but Just Himself
And Suboptimality

The Team Went Small, With No Defense
Amir was Put Away
Rip’s Ego, and the Answer’s Too
Were Held in Primacy

…

Since Then More Lineups, and Yet Each
Feels Smaller by the Day
The Pistons Under Curry Head
Right Toward Calamity

- Emily Dickinson, Because I Could Not Stop for Death

Those who possessed in highest degree the attributes of the Small Ball did not seek to show them, and therefore they possessed them in fullest measure. Those who possessed Small Ball in a lower degree those attributes sought how not to lose them, and therefore they did not possess them in fullest measure.

Those who possessed in the highest degree those attributes of Small Ball did nothing with a purpose, and had no need to do anything. Those who possessed them in a lower degree were always doing, and had need to be so doing.

Those who possessed the highest benevolence were always seeking to carry it out, and had no need to be doing so. Those who possessed the highest righteousness were always seeking to carry it out, and had need to be so doing.

Those who possessed the highest sense of propriety were always seeking to show it, and when men did not respond to it, they bared the arm and marched up to them.

Thus it was that when the Small Ball was lost, its attributes appeared; when its attributes were lost, benevolence appeared; when benevolence was lost, righteousness appeared; and when righteousness was lost, the proprieties appeared. Now propriety is the attenuated form of leal-heartedness and good faith, and is also the commencement of disorder; swift apprehension is only a flower of the Small Ball, and is the beginning of stupidity. Thus it is that the Great man abides by what is solid, and eschews what is flimsy; dwells with the fruit and not with the flower. It is thus that he puts away the one and makes choice of the other.

Lao-Tse – The Tao Teh Curry

We would not, could not, get a stop.
At least its AI, not Rick Fox.
But we will not beat them with this mouse.
We will not beat them in our house.
We will not beat them here or there.
We will not beat them anywhere.
I wish we had our Maxiell Jam.
I do not like this, Sam-I-am.

Big Lineup’s
defunct
        who used to
        play a fantastic brand of
                                  defense
and block onetwothreefourfiveshotsjustlikethat
                                               Jesus

He was a handsome lineup
                         and what I want to know is
how do you like your blue-uniformed team
Mister SmallBall

“Buffalo Bill” e.e. Cummings

“In what way,” Curry asked himself, “was my theory stupider than others that have runned and gunned from the beginning of the league? One has only to look at the thing quite independently, broadly, and uninfluenced by commonplace ideas, and Small Ball will by no means seem so…strange. Oh, skeptics and messageboard philosophers, why do you halt half-way!”

-Fyodor Dostoevsky

I’d like to paraphrase literary giant Charles Barkley, from his immortal letter to Bill Laimbeer back in the day.

Dear Michael Curry:

Fuck you.

Love,

Daniel

This is Michael Curry Speaking

“For twelve years you’ve been asking “What is Small Ball?” This is Michael Curry speaking. I’m the man who’s taken away your victories and thus destroyed your world."

Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand

“Smallball is more dangerous than standing armies.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

“Stately, plump Michael Curry came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A small ball, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:
- Introibo ad altare Dei.”

Ulysses – James Joyce

Bob Knight Quotes #10
Everyone wants to be on a winning team, but no one wants to come to practice.

Bob Knight

=======
Bob Knight Quotes #6
When my time on earth is gone and my activities here are passed, I want them to bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass!

Bob Knight

This is Mike C. and I approve this message

http://www.inspirational-quotes-and-quotations.com/famous-bob-knight-quotes.html

“I’m on drugs. I’m, uh, I mean, you know what it is. What’s the deal, man? I like to get small. It’s a wild, wild drug. Very dangerous for kids though, because they get really small. I know I shouldn’t get small when I’m drivin’, but, uh, I was drivin’ around the other day, you know whistles tunefully and a cop pulls me over. And he goes, ‘Hey, are you small?’ I said, ‘No, I’m tall, I’m tall.’ He said, ‘Well, I’m gonna have to measure you.’ They’ve got a little test they give you; it’s a balloon, and if you can get inside of it, they know… you’re small. And they can’t put you in a regular cell either, because you walk right out.”

- Steve Martin, ’Let’s Get Small’

A spectre is haunting Detroit — the spectre of small ball. All the powers of old Detroit have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Laimbeer and Rodman, Budda and Spider, online bloggers and sports talk show hosts.

Where is the team in opposition that has not been decried as small ball by its opponents in power? Where is the opposition that has not hurled back the branding reproach of small ball, against the more advanced opposition teams, as well as against its reactionary adversaries?

Two things result from this fact:

I. Small ball is already acknowledged by all NBA powers to be itself a power.

II. It is high time that coaches who use small ball should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the Spectre of Small Ball with a manifesto of the lineup itself.

Michael Curry, The Manifesto of Small Ball

Two things are infinite: the universe and small ball; and I’m not sure about the universe.

-Albert Einstein

I should add: “Small ballers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your games!”

This whole thread has to be the greatest thread in the history of threads. I can’t stop crying I’m laughing so hard. Seriously, ee cummings, Dostoevsky, and Ayn Rand? My god, people. I should use this in my literature course…

“For smallball is like tree trunks in the snow. It seems to be resting smoothly as if one could push it away with a slight nudge. No, one cannot, for it is firmly attached both to the ground and the coach. But lo and behold, this too is sheer semblance.”

-Kafka’s “The Smallball”

“This whole thread has to be the greatest thread in the history of threads.”

I second that — I’m dying over here.

I thing Greg’s Poe version wins the thread

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
    I am small ball, I do not sleep.
    I am in a thousand whistles that blow,
    I am the bench-sore butt of Afflalo.
    I am the gentle showers of losses,
    Hatched in the brain of the Piston bosses.
    I am in the Palace’s new-found hush,
    I am in the new graceless fast-break rush.
    I am Iverson’s passing flubs,
    I make stars out of other team’s scrubs.
    I put players out of position,
    I make rebounding harder than nuclear fission.
    I make the opposing players sing,
    I am in each awful thing.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry,
    I am small ball. I do not die.

DBB passed through all the stages of torture natural to prisoners in small ball. He was sustained at first by that pride of conscious innocence which is the sequence to hope; then he began to doubt his own innocence, which justified in some measure the coach’s belief in his mental alienation; and then, relaxing his sentiment of pride, he addressed his supplications, not to God, but to man. God is always the last resource. Unfortunates, who ought to begin with God, do not have any hope in him till they have exhausted all other means of deliverance from small ball.

The Count of MC

This is beyond great.

“Players simply disappeared, always during the night. Your name was removed from the registers, every record of everything you had ever done was wiped out, your one-time existence was denied and then forgotten. You were abolished, annihilated: smallballed was the usual word.”

- George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 1

My apologies if this has been mentioned before, but I am the only one who things Curry is playing small ball right now specifically so we’ll lose? Maybe he thinks if the team loses to Charlotte and Indiana, Rip and AI will see that the system doesn’t work. I mean, Rip has already moved off of his I’m-not-coming-off-the-bench stance (although I think that happened before the Charlotte game).

“Nearly all players nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Pistons they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Curry. On the contrary, they adored the Curry and everything connected with it… All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of the Curry, against bloggers, traitors, saboteurs, thought-criminals. It was almost normal for life-long fans to be frightened of their own team.”

- George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 2

I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats!

“Don’t you see that the whole aim of Smallball is to narrow the range of thought?… Has it ever occurred to you, DBB, that by the year 2010, at the very latest, not a single Pistons fan will be alive who could understand such a conversation as we are having now?… The whole climate of basketball will be different. In fact, there will be no basketball, as we understand it now. Smallball means not thinking— not needing to think. Smallball is unconsciousness.”

- George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 5

Ok, one more but for god’s sake I have to get work done

MICHAEL OTHELLO.
Soft you; a word or two before you go.
I have done the team some service, and they know’t.—
No more of that.—I pray you, in your AP newswire reports,
When you shall these unlucky fourth quarters relate,
Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate,
Nor set down aught in malice: then must you speak
Of one that loved going small not wisely, but too well;
Of one unable to close out games, but, being wrought,
Perplex’d by fundamentals of basketball in the extreme; of one whose hand,
Like the base D’Antonian, threw a pearl away
Richer than all his suits; of one whose subdu’d eyes,
Albeit unused to the glare of the fans,
Drop in the standings as fast as the Wizards
since Gilbert’s prolong’d hurt. Set you down this;
And say besides,—that in Detroit once,
Where a malignant and a sartorially unkempt Bald
Beat out other coaches to lead the team,
I took by the throat the mal-dressed dog
And smote him—thus.

[Stabs himself.]

“In Detroit at the present day, Basketball, in the old sense, has almost ceased to exist. In Curryland there is no word for ‘Basketball.’ The smallballic method of thought, on which none of the basketball achievements of the past were founded, is opposed to the most fundamental principles of Detroit Basketball.”

- George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 9

Papa.
What is it.
What is smallball.
A gimmick.
Why does Curry keep using it.
I dont know.
Oh.
Are you scared.
Yes.
I’m sorry.
Will the Pistons be okay?
I dont know.

The man hugged the boy close as if to shield him from the implacable darkness of the world. From Michael Curry. From smallball.

- McCarthy’s “The Road”

Three score and nine days ago our Joe Dumars brought forth on this team, a new superstar, conceived in Newport News, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal in the desire for a championship.

Now we are engaged in a great smallball war, testing whether that team, or any team so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for the career of Antonio McDyess, who gave his career that that this tean might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave players, living and killed by smallball, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what smallball did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought smallball here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead careers we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead hopes and dreams shall not have died in vain — that this team, under Joe D, shall have a new birth of an actual NBA rotation — and that government of the Stones, by the Stones, for the fans, shall not perish from the earth.

- Abraham Lincoln

“It was curious to think that the sky was the same for everybody, in Los Angeles or San Antonio as well as here. And the players under the sky were also very much the same—everywhere, all over the world, hundreds or thousands of millions of players just like this, players ignorant of one another’s existence, held apart by walls of failed offensive systesms and inept coaching, and yet almost exactly the same—players who had never learned to think but were storing up in their hearts and bellies and muscles the power that would one day overturn the smallball.”

-George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 10

The end.

The smallball don’t lie!

—Rasheed Wallace

Ok, can’t help it, have to do this. Curry’s Last Tape:

    Smaaaall baaaaall! (happy smile. He bends, writes on clipboard, rubs his hands.) Ah! (He peers at clipboard, reads entry at foot of page.) Maxiell at rest on bench . . . Hm . . . The small ball . . . (He raises his head, stares blankly front. Puzzled.) Small ball? . . . (He peers again at clipboard, reads.) The lack of rebounding . . . (He raises his head, broods, peers again at ledger, reads.) Slight decline in shooting percentage . . . Hm . . . Porous . . . what? (He peers closer.) Defense, porous defense. (He raises his head, stares blankly front. Puzzled.) Porous defense? . . . (Pause. He shrugs his head shoulders, peers again at clipboard, reads.) Farewell to—(he turns the page)—inside game.

    He raises his head, broods, bends over clipboard, scribbles Xs Os and assumes listening posture, i.e. leaning forward, elbows on table, hand cupping ear towards clipboard, face front.

“Smaaaall baaaaall!”

Smallball O smallball, why dost thou persecute me?

What, no “Smallball in the Time of Cholera?”

@QD

Done.

“To Curry she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary gameplans, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the squeaking of her sneaks on the hardwood, why no one else’s heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the cutting of her excessive guards, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her washed-up hall of famer, the flight of her bad shots, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of smallball’s gimmicks, not one of the indications of her shortcomings, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell.”

Love in the Time of Smallball

Basketball Petit a la Curry
by Julia Child from “The Art of French Coaching”

1 Brown Spalding (9.3 to 9.5 inches in diameter)
1 Center (6’ 9" to 6’ 11")
1 Power Forward (6’ 7" to 6’ 11")
1 Shooting Guard (6’ 7")
1 Point Guard (6’ 5")
1 Star, Super (6’)
2 Orange Hoops (18")

Take Spalding, and add to Point Guard.

After approximately 6 seconds, remove Spalding and mix with the Star (Super).

After 2 seconds of vigorous movement, remove Spalding and fling assertively at Orange Hoop. Other ingredients should be randomly distributed and preferably not in general vicinity of Orange Hoop.

   (Note: At this point the Chef should be prepared for
    the Spalding and the Orange Hoop to fail to mix
    approximately 2 times out of 3. This should not be taken
    to be a failure of the recipe, but a sign that the recipe
    only needs more time to succeed.)

After initial flinging of Spalding, place Center, Power Forward, Guards, and Star (Super) in general vicinity of second Orange Hoop.

Center, Forward, Point Guard and Shooting Guard should be moved vigorously, while the Star (Super) should be moved as little as possible to create a pleasing contrast

Much in the way that a classic Pate en Croute creates a contrast between the crisp exterior and soft interior, he overall effect of Basketball Petit a la Curry should be to create a contrast between interest of the many and the disinterest of the one, of effort of the group and the sloth of the individual).

Variation:

Basketball Petit et Randome a la Curry

Take 3 of above ingredients but replace remaining 2 ingredients with other random ingredients. Sift, shake, and replace for unpredictable lengths of time.

“We shall meet in the place were there are no power forwards,” Curry said to him.

/Orwell’d

God dammit:

“Down! Down!” said Curry. “Now speak your promise!”

“We promises, yes I promise!” said Iverson. “I will serve the master of the Smallball. Good master, good Iverson, bubbachuck, bubbachuck!” Suddenly he began to weep and bite at his armsleeve again.

Darn you, Daniel, you took my Gettysburg Address!

“Curry SmAAaSh!!”

- The Incredible Hulk

“The first rule of smallball is – you do not talk about smallball. The second rule of smallball is – you DO NOT talk about smallball.”

–Chuck Palahniuk, “SmallFight BallClub”

This thread is doing injustice to the stereotype of the Pistons fan as a beer throwing, Palace brawl starting moron.

@QD:
If we were at The Palace that day, we would have thrown a copy of The Fountainhead at Ron Artest, not a full beer.

from the cinema

scene: the visiting locker room (a.k.a. Animal House), shortly before Friday’s Pistons—Thunder game

McDyess: Game’s over, man. Curry wants to play smallball against Oklahoma City.
Wallace: Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!
Prince: Germans?
Hamilton: Forget it, he’s rolling.
Wallace: And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the going gets tough, the tough get going! Who’s with me? Let’s go! [runs out of the locker room, then returns] What the fuck happened to the Pistons I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? “Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you, Rasheed, we might get in trouble.” Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. Kevin Durant, he’s a dead man! Earl Watson, dead! Russell Westbrook…
Prince: Dead! Sheed is right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now, we could do it with conventional rotations that rebound well and play solid basketball at both ends of the court. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this game absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.
Wallace: We’re just the guys to do it.
McDyess: Let’s do it.
Wallace: Let’s do it!

The energized Pistons jump Michael Curry, toss him into a spare locker, then take the court against the Thunder. Tayshaun Prince serves as player-coach, and his squad plays a game as brilliant as it is chaotic. Richard Hamilton starts, and subs out four minutes before the end of each quarter for Allen Iverson, who serves as a defensive enforcer, drop-kicking Oklahoma City guards when they drive the lane. Antonio McDyess grabs 38 rebounds and breaks Nenad Kristic’s nose. Kwame Brown (wearing a jersey that reads “Eat Me”) throws a giant cake into the stands. Amir Johnson tears the clothes off of a blonde debutante in the courtside seats, then abducts her. The game ends when Rasheed Wallace drives a Ford Bronco into the Thunder bench.

Years later, the kidnapped debutante learns to love Amir, who shows his romantic side by allowing her to videotape him singing along to slow jams. Their inspiring love-against-the-odds story inspires Michigan voters, who choose Amir Johnson as their next senator following the retirement of Carl Levin.

Not sure how many people watch the Basketball Jones, but they do a little analysis on last night’s game and the team. Their final conclusion agrees with the DBB general consensus, but I was surprised he knocked Rip’s D to get there.

Smallball? Don’t talk about smallball!!!! Smallball?!! Smallball?!!

-Jim Mora

lol this is fun.

I have witnessed the tremendous energy of the small ball. On this foundation it is possible to lose to any team whatsoever.

Small ball, and the small ball alone, is the motive force in the making of Detroit Pistons history.

There is in fact no such thing as small ball for small ball’s sake, small ball that stands above opponents, small ball that is detached from or independent of winning. Michael Curry and small ball are part of the whole small ball revolutionary cause.

Mao Zedong

I guess I’ll pitch in an obvious one:

“Don’t ask what smallball can do for you. Ask what you can do for smallball.”

-John F. Curry

Also, I chuckled just now looking at: http://www.nba.com/pistons/ because the first headline reads: “Not So Bad” The funny thing was there was a corresponding photo of Curry with (IMO) a very very bad suit on. In comparison, I guess, yeah, the pistons aren’t doing so bad.

@Gabe

All I could get from reading that article was that Keith Langlois is a pussy.

Perhaps this literary display will inspire Phil Jackson to coach our team…

“They were careless people, Joe and Michael — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made…”

The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald

“For my part I don’t see why coaches who have got power for’ards and don’t want ‘em shouldn’t get rid of ’em as these gipsy fellows do their old horses,” said the coach in the ill fitting suit. “Why shouldn’t they put ‘em up and sell ’em by auction to men who are in need of such articles? Hey? Why, begad, I’d sell mine this minute if anybody would buy ’em!”

The Coach of Casterbridge – Thomas Hardy

"These are the voyages of the starship Small Ball, it’s continuing mission to explore a strange new world, to seek out new ways of playing and losing, to boldly go where no NBA team has gone before."

 Gene Roddenberry quotes

“The Cavs wear red. They work much harder than we do, because they’re so frightfully clever. I’m awfully glad I’m a Piston, because I don’t work so hard. And then we are much better than the Pacers and Kings. The Pacers are stupid. They all wear yellow, and Kings wear purple. Oh no, I don’t want to play with the Kings. And the Thunder are still worse. They’re too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear orange, which is such a beastly color. I’m so glad I’m a Piston.”

Brave New World, Aldous Huxley

"I am 100 percent in favor of the intelligent use of shooting guards, and 1,000 percent against the thoughtless use of them, whether RIP or AI. And shooting guards are not central to my life."

—Timothy Leary

“O Curry, Curry! Wherefore art thou Curry?
Deny thy stars and refuse thy small ball;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my grief,
And we’ll no longer be a contender”

-Juliet

“Smallball is the opiate of the masses.”

-Karl Marx

When Michael Curry, having rejected reason and overpowered judgment which leads to winning, is set in the direction of the pleasure which smallball can inspire, and when again under the influence of diva shooting guards’ desires he is moved with violent motion towards the beauty of smallball, it acquires a surname from this very violent motion, and is called ball-less-ness.

Socrates, On Ovaries

The art of Small Ball isn’t hard to master;
so many ways it causes games
to be lost that their loss is all disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of poor rebounding, the shot clock badly spent.
The art of Small Ball isn’t hard to master.

Then practice shooting farther, shooting faster:
from all places, then turnovers, fouls and
travels. All of these will bring disaster.

I lost from a defensive mismatch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, reason for three-guard went.
The art of Small Ball isn’t hard to master.

I lost two games, lousy ones. And, vaster,
a backcourt I coached, two good guys and a ballhog.
I stayed with them, and it was a disaster.

—Even losing to OKC (a joke of a team, a gimme
indeed) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of Small Ball’s not too hard to master
though it sure looks like (Write it!) like disaster.

— One Small Art by Elizabeth Bishop

With a nature so sensitive, with a soul that lived by tireless admiration of the magnificent achievements of small ball, of the high rivalry between human toil and the work of Nature, Curry was a slave to that one of the Seven Deadly Sins with which God surely will deal most hardly; Curry was a glutton for small ball. A narrow backcourt, combined with a passion for undersized lineups, condemned him to a regimen so abhorrent to a discriminating spectator, that, bachelor as he was, he had cut the knot of the problem by benching power forwards every day.

Cousin Curry – Honore de petit Balzac…heh heh, get it?…petit Balzac…

Holy shit PS, that was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. I would pay a lot of money to see Sheed drive a Ford Bronco into the Thunder’s bench. Actually, as a transplanted Seattleite, I’d like to see him drive it through Clay Bennett’s house.

“petit Balzac” +1000

Boredom at work: where this thread happens.

Contact with smallball, the habit of smallball, has disintegrated this world. Spellbound by smallball’s rigor, humanity has forgotten, and continues to forget, that it is the rigor of MCIAFI and not of angels. Already smallball’s (conjectural) “primitive language” has filtered into our schools; already the teaching of smallball’s harmonious history (filled with moving episodes) has obliterated the history that governed my own childhood; already a fictitious past has supplanted in men’s memories that other past, of which we now know nothing certain — not even that it is false.

- Smallball, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius by Jorge Luis Borges

Someone declare a winner… running out of steam…

My favorite was PS’s cinematic masterpiece. I’m amazed we’ve kept it up as long as we have. Although, I’m very glad no one came up with:

“It was the best of small ball, it was the worst of small ball, it was the age of shooting guards, it was the age of reboundlessness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of AI, it was the season of Darkness, it was the fall of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to the Finals, we were all going direct the other way.”

This team is more smallball than man now.
-Obi Wan Kanobi

It is a period of civil war. The Charlotte Bobcats, fielding a glorified JV team, have won their first victory against the Detroit Pistons.

During the battle, DBB contributors managed to steal secret plans to the Pistons’ ultimate weapon, the SMALL BALL, a flaccid excuse for professional basketball with barely enough power to destroy an NBA D-league team.

Pursued by the Curry’s sinister agents, the DBB races home aboard their starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save their team and restore title aspirations to the D-town…

(At some point in one of the chronologically earlier but far inferior films in the series, the Curry’s balls were cut off and replaced with cybernetics. The sensetivity never really returned…)

I got a lot of yuks from Greg’s Edgar Allan Poe.

OT:
Weeeee!

curry

I am Michael Curry. And my enemies do not go away. I saw out
good nobles hanged. My wife… I am Micheal Curry. And I see
a whole team of my players, here in defiance of big ball. You
have come to fight as free smallballers. And free smallballers you are! What will you do with smallball? Will you fight?

sheed

7 footers, against five smallballers? We will play standard basketball—and possibly win!

curry

Yes. Play smallball and you may lose. Play big and you may win, at least for awhile. And dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that, for one chance, JUST ONE CHANCE, to come back here as young men, and tell our enemies that they make take a victory, but they will never take our SMAAAAAALLLBALLLLLL!!!!

- Braveheart

Lurking for years, but this brought me out of shell …

SMALLBALL, smallball, burning bright
In the arenas of the night,
What baller’s hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
 
In what distant dunks or hooks
Burnt the checkers on thine looks?
On what shots dare you fall?
What the hand dare seize the ball?
 
And what forward and what two
Could give you life, I have no clue?
And when our team once again is beat,
What dread coach in what dread seat?
 
What the point-guard? what the trade?
In what furnace was thy made?
What the Dumars? What the Curry?
Dare its deadly terrors fury?
 
When the Sheeds threw off their headbands,
And the refs whistled and swung their hands,
Did he smile, did he quip?
Did Davidson ask ‘where is Flip?’
 
SMALLBALL, smallball, burning bright
In the arenas of the night,
Will the fans be asking thee,
What number will be our lottery?

Billy Blake

Maybe it wasn’t entirely Curry’s fault…

“IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a bad coach in possession of a good team must be in want of a smallball.

However little known the feelings or views of such a coach may be on his first entering a franchise, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding bad coaches, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

``My dear Mr. Curry,‘’ said his lady to him one day, ``have you heard that smallball is let at last?’’

Mr. Curry replied that he had not.

``But it is,‘’ returned she; ``for Mr. Dumars has just been here, and she told me all about it.’’

Mr. Curry made no answer.

``Do not you want to know who has taken it?’’ cried his wife impatiently.

``You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.’’

This was invitation enough.

-Jane Austen, Pride & Currydice

Someone needs to print this and send it to Curry and Dumars.

This. Is. The. Greatest.

The Austen was fantastic. The ee cummings – buffalo bill was unexpected and wonderful. The apostrophes in the Hardy were perfect. Not to mention the vision of Rasheed blaming the Germans for bombing Pearl Harbor.

Here’s another:

“Madness!” cried Stuckey. “To be engaged with smallball, Coach Curry, seems blasphemous.”

“Hark ye yet again, – the little lower layer. All smallball games, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each possession – in the living drive, the undoubted pick and roll – there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, smallball is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there’s naught beyond. But ‘tis enough. Smallball tasks me; smallball heaps me; I see in smallball outrageous strength, with an inscrutable malice sinewing it. That inscrutable thing is chiefly what I hate; and be the smallball agent, or be the smallball principal, I will wreak that hate upon him. Talk not to me of blasphemy, man; I’d strike the sun if it insulted me.”

- Melville

Or, perhaps more optimistically:

“Stuckey! Quick, I am waiting.”

I heard a slow scrape of his hightops on the hardwood floor, and soon he appeared standing at the top of the key.

"What is wanted?" said Stuckey mildly.

“The smallball plays, the smallball,” said I hurriedly. "We are going to examine them."

"I would prefer not to," he said, and gently returned to the bench.

For a few moments I was turned into a pillar of salt, standing at the head of my seated column of assistants. Recovering myself, I advanced towards the bench, and demanded the reason for such extraordinary conduct. “Why do you refuse?”

“I would prefer not to.”

 - Melville

One more, on the less optimistic side of things:

And so Professor Dumars, with archangelic shrieks, and his imperial beak thrust upwards, and his whole captive form folded in the flag of Coach Curry, went down with his ship, which, like Satan, would not sink to hell till she had dragged a living part of heaven along with her, and helmeted herself with it.

Now small guards flew screaming over the yet yawning gulf; a sullen Sheed beat against its steep sides; then all collapsed, and the great shroud of the game rolled on as it rolled one hundred years ago.

 - Melville

I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled [Curry] to play small ball, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean.
    
    Socrates, In “Apology,” sct. 21, by Plato.

Or, since McCarthy came up earlier, one one one more:

“Once there were big men in the lane. You could see them standing in the paint where the white edge of their defense held steady in the box. They smelled of strength. Polished and muscular and torsional. On their backs were vermiculate patterns that were maps of the game in its becoming. Maps and playbooks and mazes. Of a thing which could not be put back. Not be made right again. In the paint where they lived all things were older than Curry and they hummed of mystery.”

Be helpless, dumbfounded,
Unable to say yes or no.
Then Smallball will come from grace to gather us up.

We are too dull-eyed to see its beauty.
If we say we can, we’re lying.
If we say No, we don’t see it,
That No will behead us
And shut tight our window onto Smallball.

So let us rather not be sure of anything.
Beside ourselves, and only that, so
Smallball will come running to help.
Crazed, lying in a zero circle, mute,
We shall be saying finally,
With tremendous eloquence, Lead us.
When we have totally surrendered to Smallball’s beauty,
We shall be a mighty kindness.

- Rumi (version by Michael Curry)

THis is the best. I love this damn blog.

I guess we ought to have one with the inauguration coming up…

We’ve been asked to pause for a conventional lineup. We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope that we can succeed with both AI and Rip starting. But in the unlikely story that is Pistons, there has never been anything false about hope.

For when we have faced down impossible odds, when we’ve been told we’re not good enough to beat the Lakers or that we shouldn’t try bringing on Sheed or that we can’t stop MJ, generations of Pistons have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a team: Yes, we can.

It was whispered by undrafted and forgotten players as they blazed a trail towards victories through the stiffest of competition: Yes, we can.

It was sung by the owner as they struck out from Ft. Wayne and league pioneers who pushed northward against an unforgiving wilderness to Detroit: Yes, we can.

It was the call of Mr. Davidson who organized, players who weren’t afraid to be the bad boys, a team who toppled an icon, and a general manager who took us to the mountaintop with five castoffs: Yes, we can, to a new tomorrow.

Yes, we can, to starting two shooting guards and no centers. Yes, we can win with Tay out of position. Yes, we can to small ball. Yes, we can.

Ok, I’m done. Promise.

RHYME OF THE ANCIENT SMALLBALLER
-———————————————-
"Call me Curry, the Ancient Smallballer,
For I Playeth one Big of Three."
By Stuttering Speech and Glistening Head,
"Wherefore’re more Guards?!?!" said He?

The Answer came up upon the left,
Out of the Bench came he!
His star shone bright, and on the right
Went Maxiell with a DNP.

Higher and higher every day,
Our Rebound Shortage did Swoon –
The Pistons-Fan here beat his breast,
For he heard the loud Buffoon…

"T’was an Ancient Land, not one Big Man,
When the Court was Curry’s", quoth he.
“Free Amir! Unleash Kwame, thou Bald-Headed loon!”
Detroit wept for McDyess, Anthony.

The Team was jeered, the Stands were cleared,
So merrily did we drop
Below Five Hundred, below them ALL!!!
Below the Conference Top.

And now the Storm-blast came,
Curry’s rage was tyrannous and strong:
on Girth with might, his Coach’s Right,
And chased the Bigs along.

And now there came both mist and snow
Auburn Hills grew wondrous cold!
And ice, mast-high, came floating by,
of Palace Tickets, naught were Sold.

The Foul-outs here, No Rebounds there,
Three-digit Scoring all around:
It cracked and growled, and roared and howled,
Small Ball was abound!

At length did cross the Albatross,
With hope of Playoffs, she came;
As if it had some Motown soul,
We hailed in Dumars’ name.

A Win-Streak from south sprung up;
The Albatross did follow,
For Seven days, two Guards did Play,
No Loss, nor Pistons’ sorrow!

Alas, now Day after Day, Game after Game,
No Put-Back, nor Baseline motion;
As idle on the Painted Court
As upon a painted ocean.

Rebounds, REBOUNDS, everywhere!
The Pistons Tally; it did shrink;
Defense, DEFENSE, Anywhere?
Nor would our Coach but Think.

“God save thee, Ancient Smallballer from:
Six-foot-Nill Guards that plague thee thus!
Why look’st thou so?” – “With Big Men none,
I killed the Albatross.”

Samuel Taylor Curryidge

“There is a theory that states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what Smallball is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by some offensive scheme even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another which states that this has already happened.”
-Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Smallball

Never, never, never believe any small ball will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The coach who yields to small ball fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

    Sir Winston Churchill

Shinons,

Very nice.

Maybe Curry’s mother is blame:

“It is an instructive fact that under the influence of smallball children can become polymorphously perverse, and can be led into all possible kinds of defensive irregularities. This shows that an aptitude in them for smallball is innately present in their disposition. There is consequently little resistance towards bigs in the lane, since the mental dams against smallball’s excesses – shame, disgust and morality – have either not yet been constructed at all or are only in course of construction, according to the height of the child.” – Freud, Three Essays on Smallball

*to blame

“Son, we live in a world that has smallball and that smallball needs to be played by men with skill. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Rob G? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Amir Johnson and curse the smallball; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that regular basketballs’s death, while tragic, probably saved your local bartender’s job and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wastes talent. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want smallball on that court, you need smallball on that court. We use words like zone, deforming defenses, expiring contracts. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to play smallball. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the coaching I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a basketball and stand on the perimeter. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to. "

Colonel Curry

Another off topic interruption (which, in this thread, means normal basketball talk), but the Bulls are about to knock off the Cavs in overtime. Never thought I’d be rooting for Chicago.

E=m(smallball)^2

- Einstein

its a bird! its a plane! its….smallball?

I Have A Dream
-————————-

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all basketball schemes are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of smallballers and the sons of traditional b-ballers will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by whether they play smallball but by their understanding of a 2-1-2 zone defense.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious ney-sayers, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “Power Forward” and “Why 2 shooting guards?” — one day right there in Alabama smallball boys and smallball girls will be able to join hands with traditional 2’s and rebounding Power forwards as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

In honor of MLK

Another OT Link, but pretty damn interesting: NBA heatmaps:
http://www.obsessionism.com/archives/49

Small ball or tall ball what shall it be
I lay before you for all to see

Small ball or tall ball what shall we play
A most difficult choice is all I can say

Small ball or tall ball what is the best
On which side will the ball come to rest

Small ball or tall ball
Go ahead and make my day

Holy hell you guys are creative. I have too many favorites to list, but I will say that The Rhyme of the Ancient Smallballer simply floored me.

A standing ovation for all of you!

I keep saying small ball sucks and you can’t win playing it and BILL LIAMBEER should be coaching the pistons not mike curry that was a bad choice!!! very bad!! why!!

best thread ever….doesn’t change the fact that we’re sucking hard at the moment…

Like the late, great James Brown said. I’m mad. I want revenge, my patience thin. Payback. I’m so disgusted with this team and Curry’s decisions I could scream! I’m mad at Joe D for hiring him. Where is Bill Laimbeer or Nolan Richardson? We’re supposed to be seriously trying to compete for a championship, not giving games away.

RHYME OF THE ANCIENT SMALLBALLER wins my vote! That was awesome!!

Many Bothans died to bring us this Iverson.

Richard: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I’ve done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you’re getting on that bench with Afflalo where you belong.
Allen: But, Richard, no, I… I…
Richard: Now, you’ve got to listen to me! You have any idea what you’d have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we’d both wind up in the lottery. Isn’t that true, Curry?
Captain Curry: I’m afraid Joe Dumars would insist.
Allen: You’re saying this only to make me go.
Richard: I’m saying it because it’s true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Afflalo. You’re part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that guy checks in and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Allen: But what about us?
Richard: We’ll always have Philly. We didn’t have, we, we lost it until you came to Detroit. We got it back last night.
Allen: When I said I would never leave you.
Richard: And you never will. But I’ve got a job to do, too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Allen, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of two little shooting guards don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that. Now, now… Here’s looking at you kid.

Curryblanca

Rip: [pleads with Chauncey as he is about to leave to join the Denver Nuggets] Oh, Chauncey! Please, don’t go! You can’t leave me! Please! I’ll never forgive you!
Chauncey: I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’ll never understand or forgive myself. And if a knee injury gets me, so help me, I’ll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There’s one thing I do know… and that is that I love you, Richard. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we’re alike. Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names.
Rip: [struggles] Don’t hold me like that!
Chauncey: [holds her tighter] Richard! Look at me! I’ve loved you more than I’ve ever loved any shooting guard and I’ve waited for you longer than I’ve ever waited for any shooting guard.
[kisses his forhead]
Rip: [turns his face away] Let me alone!
Chauncey: [forces him to look him in the eyes] Here’s a soldier of the NBA who loves you, Rip. Wants to feel your arms around him, wants to carry the memory of your jumpers into battle with him. Never mind about loving me, you’re a teammate sending another teammate to the West with a beautiful memory. Richard! Kiss me! Kiss me… once…
[he kisses him]

Gone Went the Wins

Curry is around for the longhaul.
Curry will be very successful with the Pistons.
I expect some or all of the 3 Divas (Rip, Tay and AI) will be gone come next year.

Look at this year as the beginning of the transition to the next generation of Pistons winning.

The Pistons have 3 young guys who could contribute big time going forward, though I am not yet convinced that Johnson will be around in the future.

In any case it is those 2 or 3 (Stuckey, Afflalo and Johnson??) on which the future will depend along with Curry.

I am really only focusing on the play of those three guys this year. Everything else is what it is.

1. So far Stuckey is showing that he will a big time winner
2. Afflalo’s shooting and overall game is progressing very nicely, only be held back because of AI and Rip, one or both of whom will be gone by next fall.
3. Johnson has shown some flashes of being able to compete successfully as a starting PF/C with his progress being held back by his high foul rate and the refusal of the 3 Divas to pass him the ball when he is open in the low post.

Correction:

In any case it is those 2 or 3 (Stuckey, Afflalo and Johnson??) plus forthcoming acquisitions on which the future will depend along with Curry.

I expect some or all of the 3 Divas (Rip, Tay and AI) will be gone come next year.

Tayshaun Prince as a diva??? I can’t think of a less diva player in all of sports than Tayshaun “Sure I could score like Caron Butler if I wanted to but I’ll sacrifice my offensive stats to be a team player and focus on defense even though it may never get me an All Star appearance and I could probably be making $5 mil a year more otherwise, but still I gave a pretty nice discount to the Pistons – think no team out there would pay more than $9 mil a year for a 6-9 unselfish defensive stopper who will regularly give you 15-20 points a night?” Prince. How can you refer to Tay as one of the three divas and not Sheed??

Besides, let’s go to Tim Duncan and tell him that he’s coming off the bench. Or Dirk. Or Yao. Or Nash. Even everyone’s favorite, David Lee. None of them would like it. You’re not a diva for wanting to be a starter when you’ve been a starter since you were 14 years old. And AI has had a great attitude since coming on here, saying the right thing and adjusting his game to fit what the team needs. And it’s not like either AI or Rip should be overly compelled to buy into what Curry’s selling since he changes his tune every couple weeks, so even more credit to them for being willing to go along with it. Ben acted like a diva with Flip. So did Sheed. So did Billups. But this season’s team, I’m definitely proud of the way our guys are handling all this.

@Mike – I’m not so sure I’d be excited about building from scratch. While Amir shows flashes there’s no guarantee that he’ll be better than an average starter. That aside, if Curry continues to drive our bus off the cliff, I’m not so sure I WANT him around. There’s a fine line between sticking to your guns, and being a stubborn fool… I think Curry crossed that line 2 games ago.

Sticking to his guns?

Curry has done every EXCEPT stick to his guns. One minute small ball is the answer because it makes us offensively explosive. Next, we need two bigs because we’re clearly better on defense, and defense is what’s most important. Then, we’re back to small ball because having our best 5 on the floor is what really counts…

The Ball-less One is the definition of a flip-flopper.

I think with a couple of nice free agent signings and hopefully getting Wallace to resign for a couple of years at a reasonable price and Dyess, Bynum and Maxiell coming back I wouldn’t exactly call it building from scratch. Plus Stuckey and Afflalo will be back.

It seems to me that it will be more of a major redo than a building from scratch.

I am using the term Diva in this instance to note players on the Pistons who refuse to pass the ball to Johnson when he is open in the low post but insist on going one on one starting from perimeter.

I can see the Pistons getting rid of Hamilton and Iverson though most likely only one will go. Prince will probably stay unless the Pistons can work a deal for a SF of equivalent ability.

For example I would trade Johnson and Prince for Durant and a 2nd round draftpick. Of course the Thunder wouldn’t make that trade.

I hope to God no one would count on Iverson to be in their starting lineup next year. Especially when you have Rip.

What’s worse than a 6’0" SG? A 34 year old 6’0" SG.

Here’s a thought…

Rip for Carlos Boozer?

Utah certainly isn’t happy with him, and they have a replacement in Millsap.

Detroit would definitely (and definitively) be shooting their wad for this season (Stuck, AI, Tey, Boozer, Sheed)… and would be able to give Boozer some extra money in the off-season. Tey, Boozer, and Stuck would be your foundation for the future. Afflalo, Amir, and Maxiell would be given more minutes to see if they can handle starting roles.

Not sure if this is a good idea… just thought I’d throw it out there.

Well I’m upper upper class high society
God’s gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is ever small
The social pages say I’ve got
The smallest balls of all

I’ve got small balls
I’ve got small balls
They’re such small balls
And they’re dirty small balls
And he’s got small balls
And she’s got small balls
(But we’ve got the smallest balls of them all)

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And every point guard runs the score on us
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I’ve got
Tiny balls of fire

ACDC

@Mike

I would trade Johnson, Prince, Kwame, and OUR second round pick for Durant straight up.

Brave New World ftw, Joel. My favorite.

There’s a new Langlois post on smallball up here: http://www.nba.com/pistons/news/truebluepistons.html

Honestly, I can picture the season ending, and still being told by the F-ING pistons media that we all need to give smallball more F-ING time. Didn’t we play a series of games with smallball earlier in the year? Wasn’t it just as terrible then as it is now? How many chances can smallball possibly get? I feel like we’re all being asked to take crazy pills.

Joel,

Just what we need, another low fg% in the starting lineup.

PG4L’s prophecy has come true. It’s now coming down to the All-Star break and people are STILL saying, “Just give it some time…” Ugh. As much as I prefer Rip for this team over AI, I think I’d do Rip for Boozer.

i watched chauncey last night against the suns. i miss him.

remember how easy it was to put away the dregs of the east? look at the nuggets record…really makes you wonder.

"Anyone who trades smallball for security deserves neither smallball nor security" ~~Benjamin Curry Franklin

I had this girlfriend, smoking hot… got sick of her. Dumped her. IMMEDIATELY afterward she went and got hotter and started banging this new guy and told everyone how great the sex was.

This is what watching the Nuggets is like.

Gabe – I read that article this morning and responded via email with respectful disgust. I also send him a link to this thread. Let’s hope he reads it!!!

Trade AI. Does anyone really think he’s worth $20 million a year to this team? I’m glad his contract expires at the end of the season. Let him walk and ink Boozer.

Y’all liked the Rhyme of the Ancient Smallballer, eh? Personally my faves are:
- Greg’s Poe rendition (I wanted to try Descent into the Maelstrom, but it would’ve been way too long)
- RobG’s Communist Mannifesto :D

Try this one…
 
RETURN OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP RING
-——————————————
All that is Small Ball does not glitter,
Not all those Rebounds yet lost;
The Forwards that are strong do not wither,
Champion roots not reached by the frost.
From the ashes Amir shall be woken,
from the shadows Maxiell shall spring;
Renewed be the Team that was broken,
The Pistons again shall be king.
- Tolkien

Or better yet…

CURRY (Ulysses) AND THE SMALLBALL’S (Psiren’s) CALL
-————————————————————————
SMALLBALL:
“COME, worthy Greek! Curry, come,
   Overcoach these shores with me:
Central Division seas are troublesome,
   with Smallball ye shall be free!

Forget thy Maxiell, Amir Johnson’s toil,
   thy Losses Three-Games deep,
Let Prince no rest, and Kwame to the Pine,
   your Roster, all Guards shall Keep. "

CURRY:
“Fair Nymph, if fame or Championships were
   To be attain’d with Street-Ball ease,
Then shall I Coach, me Pistons there,
   And Bench such Bigs as these.

But Dumars dwells, and here must I
   a Winning Record, to seek it forth:
To Waste a Game, ‘gainst Detroit’s cry,
   Becomes not a Team of worth. "

SMALLBALL:
“O Curry, be not deceived
   by Tales of ‘89 and ’90 Rings;
Piston’s Lore a lie conceived,
   Run and Gun, shall give thee Wings!

The Fans, they live to Protest
   Our plans, Small Lineups they beguile
To keep thy Job — Ignore those Pests,
   And give up thy Big Men’s toil. "

CURRY:
“Delicious Nymph, I wish there were
   No Wins and Losses to report,
Rip and Stuck do scorn to wear
   The Red and Blue in idle sport:

But Iverson, with Shooter’s touch
   doth make me feel such joy,
Smallball, shall I embrace as much!
   Lottery Draft Picks, Ahoy!!! "

Beware the Small Ball, for when the she wails, men shall die…
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Joel had the best one-liner in the entire thread:

In Curryland there is no word for ‘Basketball.’

Anyone else already send this to the Pistons? If not, I volunteer to print it out (in a couple days once everyone’s creativity is spent… keep it coming ’till then!) and mail it to the Public Relations office for forwarding to Joe. The team of the Pistons, by the Pistons, and for the Pistons must not perish from the Earth!

Laughing at groupies and AI tour in the same sentence. Those words do not go together. Too many fans with camera phones.