Your Pistons offseason cheat sheet …

Hey Matt – thanks for the post!

Sorry about the missing Oberto … instead of an Oberto my box had a decoder ring.

Over on Absolute Michigan I have my thoughts about the moves:
http://www.absolutemichigan.com/dig/michigan/detroit-pistons-offseason-primer/

Good stuff, so I hate to nitpick, but what about the leaving of Walter Herrmann? I mean, he was a bench player, but he got minutes, unlike, say, the also-missing Walter Sharpe. But definitely a good job.

Also outgoing, and not to be over-looked: Arron Afflalo

ALLEN, Not Alan. A little insulting about DaJuan.

Just put the Herr’s beautiful flowing golden hair on the bottom right corner (covering half of Curry’s face is a plus)

I think by far the best part of this cheat sheet is the lower right corner. Great poster. I think it put into effect what changes have been made and when looked at from a couple of steps away really paints a positive picture of the changes we’ve made this off-season. As pointd out above, Fabio and AA are missing but great job.

Allen is spelled Alan. Thank god he is gone.

Allen spells his name Allen, not Alan.

Look at ‘Dyess going hard in the plastic mask. We’ll miss him.

Hahahaha, simply awesome. Love it. The Kuester pic is great.

Needs more men in adult diapers for the departed AI Fanboyz.

In remembrance of Sharpe being dumped, here’s Langlois getting spun by Jod on last year’s draft night:
http://truebluepistons.blogspot.com/2008/06/joe-d-on-sharpe-hes-good-man-hes-good.html

“Joe Dumars was smiling like a guy who knows something about Walter Sharpe that nobody else knows. He watched "a ton of tape" on him and brought him in to work out, holding him over for a second day.

"He’s good, man, he’s good," Dumars said. "Handles it, shoots it, long and smooth."

Jod really is amazing at the PR game.

What else should he say on draft night? “He’s shit, I’m drafting him to hold onto for a year, and dump him”? C’mon man.

“Given that I’m prescient, I already know that next off-season we will be in dire need of legitimate size in the front court. Also given that I’m an idiot, I’m going to pass on DeAndre Jordon who should probably have been in the lottery and instead take a narcoleptic named Walter. Yes, there really is somebody under the age of 40 named Walter. Wipe your mouth when you’re done, Keith.”

Apologies to Lewis Carroll and for the large amount of scrolling.

“The Walrus and the Carpenter”

LeBron was crowned the MVP,
And crowed with all his might:
He did his very best to be
In the biggest spotlight—
And this was odd, because he lost
The ECF to Dwight.

Kobe Bryant viewed this sulkily,
Because he thought the King
Had got no business to be there
When Kobe had more rings—
“It’s very rude of him,” he said,
“To come and spoil my thing!”

Curry was fired as fired could be;
His smallball had to die.
The offseason had begun and
There was no more AI.
No shots were flying overhead—
There were no shots to fly.

Joe Dumars and Coach John Kuester
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Auburn Hills’ empty stands:
“If they could be filled every day,”
They said, “it would be grand!”

“If we had a postseason shot
By the end of next year,
Do you suppose,” Joe Dumars said,
“That’d bring more fans in here?”
“I doubt it,” said Coach John Kuester,
And shed a bitter tear.

“Pistons fans, come and walk with us!”
Joe Dumars did beseech.
“A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
And don’t forget to reach
Into your wallets so you can
Pay for seven seats each.”

The cynical fans looked at him,
But never a word they said:
One of these fans winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head—
Meaning to say he did not choose
To buy the line he’s fed.

But four hopeful fans hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their hair was brushed, their jerseys washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat—
A great GM and a new coach
They were eager to meet.

Four more Pistons fans followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more—
All hoping outscoring teams would work,
Wanting the wins of yore.

“The time has come,” Joe Dumars said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ‘ships—and three-pointers—
Of combo guards—and rings—
And why Sheed’s temper was so hot—
And how price hikes can sting.”

“But wait a bit,” the fans had cried,
“Before we have our chat;
For some of us must mourn Amir,
You can’t begrudge us that!”
“No hurry!” said Coach John Kuester.
They thanked him much for that.

“A shooting guard,” Joe Dumars said,
“Is what we chiefly need:
And undersized forwards besides
Are very good indeed—
Now if you’re ready, Pistons fans,
Langlois you’ll have to read.”

“I weep for you,” Joe Dumars said:
“I deeply sympathize.”
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Checkbooks of largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

“Pistons fans,” said Coach John Kuester,
“You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But answer came there none—
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d lost every one.

sigh Just trying to make a joke by pointing out the inherent silliness in trusting what Jod, as a GM says.

You don’t find it the least bit amusing that just a year after talking about how good Sharpe is and how we did thorough background checks on him, Jod dumped him because of a reportedly lazy attitude, for essentially nothing?

Where’s Joel with a timely gay joke when you need one?

Nevermind. He’s just too quick.

"Given that I’m prescient, I already know that next off-season we will be in dire need of legitimate size in the front court. Also given that I’m an idiot, I’m going to pass on DeAndre Jordon who should probably have been in the lottery and instead take a narcoleptic named Walter. Yes, there really is somebody under the age of 40 named Walter. Wipe your mouth when you’re done, Keith."

Might want to add “And I’m only going to play him 20 minutes all season while not giving him any time in the D-League even though he has very little basketball experience. Then I’m going to draft three guys at the same position next year. That’ll be fun.”

@Colin

Beat you by a minute my friend.

Birdman:
Holy shit.

Joel:
:) Excellent. When you think about it, our draft last season was incredibly strange: We drafted two experienced college upperclassmen and asked them to play overseas for more seasoning. We also drafted a narcoleptic who had played less than 20 games in three years. We kept him on the our NBA roster.

I know, I just though you’d focus on the stroking comment. Fellatio is good too, though.

*thought

You beat to that one. I even read it before I posted. He really did leave the door wide open— you practically sprinted through.

I guess I don’t get the OMG, JOE FUCKED UP A LATE SECOND ROUND DRAFT PICK meme. Isn’t that exactly when you pick the raw kid with tons of upside? I don’t watch a lot of college basketball, so I don’t know shit about Deandre Jordan, but if he was such a sure thing, why was he available in the second round? And I get that he filled a need, but we also needed a back up small forward, so I’m not sure why drafting one was a bad idea. As for keeping him on the roster, I thought that was because Joe wanted to keep an eye on him because he had “character issues”. That makes sense. In hindsight, it was clearly the wrong pick, but I don’t see the point in getting worked up about late second round picks.

We’ll see about DeAndre Jordan. The times I saw him play, he seemed like a knucklehead.

Yeah, it’s hard to complain about last year’s draft when it looks like he might have hit the jackpot with this year’s— especially if we had hung onto Chase Bundinger. Think about that— how many GM’s have drafted three 2nd rounders in the same draft that all made their respective squads as rookies (Budinger is expected to be a third option wing on the Rockets)? That’s pretty damn good. If Jordan blossoms this season with the Clips though, it’s going to make the Sleepy error especially hard to swallow, given that we literally got nothing out of or from him.

Colin:

First, minor nitpick- we picked Sharpe with the second pick of the 2nd round, so it was a very early 2nd round pick, not a late one.

Second, it definitely makes sense to draft for upside in the 2nd round. But who has more upside- a 7 footer (who had been a consensus top 5 pick going into his freshman season), who averaged, per 40 minutes, 16 pts (with a .617 fg%), 12 rebs and 2.5 blks, or a narcoleptic who had played less than 20 games over several years and had never actually played his projected NBA position of SF while in college?

Still, at least we got this quote, "Handles it, shoots it, long and smooth," out of it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember a lot of DeAndre Jordan chatter during the draft that year. I was in the Bill Walker camp. And, of course, there was the great “Devon Hardin v. Nathan Jawai” war. If, anything, everyone was made that they didn’t take Chris Douglas-Roberts.

Even the DBB community wasn’t of the “we need to draft a center” mindset.

If you’re drafting for upside and you give up on the guy after a year, then you must have misjudged him pretty badly.

Even D.J. White would have given us more than Sharpe did – he would have at least made it so we didn’t have to spend $6 million on Wilcox.

Shinyuns: I was just about to mention DJ White. I was happy with the pick, even though he seemed like Maxiell. So when we traded him to nab Sharpe I was perplexed. Although I think someone quickly pointed out the benefits to second rounders and non-guaranteed contracts or cheaper contracts or something, so that was a huge plus for trading White and dipping into the second round instead. But, yeah, a narcoleptic whom no one had heard of? Did they even have a highlight package of him available?

For a college freshman, it doesn’t matter if you are a consensus anything before your one any only college season. There is a very low success rate for unskilled big men.

Walter Sharpe performed reasonably well, when given the opportunity. If his disease was substantially affecting his performance, there would be a ton of upside. Turned out, as it often does with second rounders, that he didn’t want to put in the work.

@Birdman
“Of combo guards–and rings–”

Brilliant.

There was no chatter leading up to the draft about Jordan, there was only chatter once it got late in the first round, because most people believed, and old mock drafts would prove this, that he would be gone before the 20’s. I saw one mock that had him going as high as 5 to Memphis. When he fell to us at 29 I thought we HAD to take him, but then we pulled that trade with Seattle, and then he was still available at 32! I thought for sure that’s who were gonna take but we didn’t. Oh well, no use in crying over spilled milk, I just think we would be a lot better off now if we had drafted him. But who knows? Maybe with the second round pick we acquired in trading Sharpe and AA we can get our own DeAndre Jordan.

@Gabe: Good catch on the late vs. early thing. I was being lazy. I just wrote what I “remembered” rather than actually looking it up.

How about Anthony Randolph at #14? Talk about a steal. Guy probably could’ve gone #2 or #3 in retrospect. A lot of quality guys dropped last year. I would’ve loved CDR at #32. I remember him tearing us up one game in April.

Kevin S:

I usually agree with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re dead wrong when you say, “there is a very low success rate for unskilled big men.” Young big men (especially 7 footers who are highly regarded in high school) very often end up being bargains down the line.

There are obvious examples in either direction: Kwame Brown vs. Dwight Howard.

Also, the point that is often missed about DeAndre Jordan is he actually had a very good freshman year, especially for a young, “unskilled big man.” His coach was a dick and tried to keep him in college for another year by not playing him, but Jordan’s numbers were way better than the upperclassmen who got minutes ahead of him.

I’m one of the DBB IU alums, so I was excited about the D.J. White pick. I think it’s pretty sure there’s a 90 percent chance or so that D.J. ends up being the more productive player between the two in five years – and a fair chance that Sharpe isn’t even in the league at that point. Sometimes it just seems like Jod tries these low percentage risks that aren’t even particularly low cost just so that if it works out there’s the “ZOMG, JOE DID IT AGAIN!!!”

On an aside, Thorpe tweeted from Vegas Summer League that Jordan was his pick for most improved player from last year’s Summer League.

@Rob G.

That was my favorite line, as well.

@ Birdman:

golf clap

I like how farlane makes a pretty picture and the first few comments are about the assholes that didn’t make the picture.

DBB is full of ungrateful bastards

I like how farlane makes a pretty picture and the first few comments are about the assholes that didn’t make the picture.

DBB is full of ungrateful bastards

Shouldn’t “Offseason” be hyphenated?

I prefer Inglourious Basterds.

Charlie V is addicted to Twitter … when referring to Charlie V’s twitterings in past tense, for the verb, I prefer to write that Charlie V twatted.

CV iz active. That fool drops twats like an Unmanned predator drone drops explosives devices.

The twat dropper

I aspire to acquire such a nickname

Twatted is a very unpleasant word. Right up there with minge and grundle.

This looks like it will be the first training camp in a long time where players will be battling for spots:

Starting Center (starter in name only, not in minutes): Kwame v. Wilcox

Backup Power Forward: Jason Maxiell v. Jonas Jerebko

Backup Small Forward: Austin Daye v. DaJuan Summers

@ Joel:

That’s right … fits the media perfectly.

Say hello to our new starting forward, Charlie Villenueva.

If a person is known for extremely brainless Twitterings, does that make him or her a Tweetard?

Maybe a Twidiot.

Twitshit?

IF CV leaves a Twat in the middle of the forest and no one reads, does anybody give a twit?

Twidiot wins… by a landslide.

twimbecile?

QD,

you can never forget the neverending battle that is:

kwame vs. cake (http://www.yaysports.com/nba/2007/01/kwame_brown_1_cake_0.html)

“There are obvious examples in either direction: Kwame Brown vs. Dwight Howard.”

Who described Dwight Howard as unskilled? He was regarded as almost perfect from the get go.

Nice, but Joe D. ISn’t that bad…

Joel:
“Twatted is a very unpleasant word. Right up there with minge and grundle.”

add “taint” and “shart” to the list.

Kevin s:

Good nitpick.

How about Andrew Bynum, or Brook Lopez, or JaVale Magee, or Andris Biedrins? Were they all regarded as “almost perect from the get go?”

I can’t see how it’s controversial to point out that highly regarded, young 7 footers very often turn out to be useful players down the line, whether they are deemed to be “skilled” or not. That’s just a basic fact of the NBA.

Gabe/Kevin, I think big men are just tough to guage in general whether they come in with skills or not. The adage is that it takes four years for a big man to develop. The other adage is that most don’t want to put in the work because they fell into basketball simply because they were tall.

I feel bad for Kwame. He’s really only a “failure” in the sense that he was a top overall pick (and His Airness called him a faggot— I’d be psychologically damaged too) and isn’t a superdoopermegastar. If he goes, let’s say, 17th overall in 2001, then suddenly he’s exactly what 90% of first round bigs turn into— a decent rebounding, offensive liability that you have on your team to body up the first round bigs who did turn into superstars.

I really like him on the Pistons. He’s essentially a much younger, infinitely more entertaining Elden Campbell. If we don’t have to package him in a trade to get that “star big” we’re looking for, I’d love to lock him for the rest of his useful years for something around $4-5mil/yr.

@ Birdman:

That was brilliant!

@ Joel:

I just tweeted your “twidiot” comment.

What does that make me?

Twipoff artist.

@brgulker

a retwidiot

@Joel

Do not mourn for our liege Kwame. Like the snake, he doth lay low, choosing when to strike with iron hands.

Kwame: "They look like big strong hands… don’t they?

And then Atreyu calls him a faggot.

When you look at that picture up top, it doesn’t make our situation look as bad as it might seem:

Sheed—-> CV (lose some D and apathy, gain O and bright-eyed optimism) Win
AI——> BG (better fit, better range) Win
Dyce——> Wilcox (this is the one that hurts. real bad) LOOOOOSE
Amir+AA——> Washington, Daye, Summers, Jerebko (youth for youth) Wash
Curry——> The Q (um…) WIN

I want my 2004 Pistons core back! I’ll give this team one game. If they loses the opening season game then they are dead to me.

@Boney
http://www.yaysports.com/nba/2007/01/kwame_brown_1_cake_0.html

Kwame is a virgin…

I was reading what Joel said on Kwame. Personally I know a few NBA big Men that normally work with trainers during the Summer to improve their game. My thing is, Im hoping Kwame’s not one of those guys who use the Summer to bullshit, instead of working on his flaws as a Basketball Player.

“How about Andrew Bynum, or Brook Lopez, or JaVale Magee, or Andris Biedrins?

I can’t see how it’s controversial to point out that highly regarded, young 7 footers very often turn out to be useful players down the line, whether they are deemed to be "skilled" or not."

Read the book on those guys. Solid skills. Soft touch. Good foot speed. None were regarded as a “project”. There’s not a blank slate 7-footer in that bunch.

You draft a project late, on the off chance that he becomes a poor-man’s Brook Lopez. There just aren’t that many success stories. Deandre Jordan may turn out to be one of them, but you can hardly blame Joe for not taking the chance.

Where do I apply for Knighthood in the Black Order of the Knights of Kwame Brown

Skylar – You do not apply. You are Knight if you believe, deep down, that Kwame is the keeper of the True Path.

Be warned – this is not in jest. We are not mockers. We do not dwell on lies about cakes or legacies. We exalt in our Liege as he shakes his finger after taking a charge, or when he grabs that impossible rebound. We rejoice when he pumps gas for commoners.

If you believe, then Knighthood is yours.

We rejoice when he pumps gas for commoners.

Rob G Wins.

Kevin S.:

Ahh yes, the book that I have not read.

The one where Brook Lopez, who hit 47% on his 2 point fga’s his Sophomore season, was known for his soft touch.

The one that said Andrew Bynum, drafted before his 18th birthday, wasn’t a “project.” Also, neither was JaVale Magee, some of whose “Weaknesses” listed by Draftexpress include, “High bust potential?, Fundamentals, Basketball IQ, Footwork/Post-moves, Atrocious defender.” Two NBA ready big men there.

“You draft a project late, on the off chance that he becomes a poor-man’s Brook Lopez.”

Agreed. That’s why it would be logical, if given the chance, to draft DeAndre Jordan in the 2nd round.

“There just aren’t that many success stories. Deandre Jordan may turn out to be one of them, but you can hardly blame Joe for not taking the chance.”

It makes sense to instead take the chance on a narcoleptic with limited game experience who had been played out of his theoretical NBA position his entire college career?

Call me old fashioned, but I think the odds slightly favor the 7 foot center with the 9’5.5" standing reach, who hit 61.7% on his 2 point fga’s his freshman year, and averaged 16 pts and 12 rebs per 40 minutes.

Too funny Boney!

Truthfully, I got lazy – there were just so damn many changes.

@Joel – Dice is the one that hurts for me too.

Never traffic with traitors, or players named Wallace

Never give evil counsel to a lady, whether married or not; he must treat her with great respect and defend her against all Eastern Conference Opponents

To observe fasts and abstinences, and every day hear Mass and make an offering of cake in Church

In other DeAndre Jordan news, apparently he played well in the summer league but got ejected from a couple games. He’s got a little David Harrison in him, I see.

All the Detroit papers have articles on Wilcox. He says all the right things about the opportunity to play for a winning franchise. And it’s nice to know that he picked Detroit over Phoenix, Dallas and Washington (or at least had talked with those teams). Dallas and Phoenix, in particular, really need centers.

What gives me pause to say the least is this:

“He has battled through injuries, including a season-ending right pinkie sprain in 2008.”

A season-ending right pinkie sprain? Is there such a thing?

@ QD:

A season-ending right pinkie sprain? Is there such a thing?

Never had a high angle sprain, have you? High ankle sprains can take longer to recover from the a break, if the sprain’s bad enough.

I broke my pinky in April, I can easily see how it would effect handling of the rock, blocking shots, etc.

Disregard my last comment. I read pinkie as ankle.

LOL at myself.

Was a heavy splint on that hand illegal in the NBA? Could he not just be out there for defensive purposes, doing off-ball work?

Would’ve loved to see that play Rondo made on Brad Miller with a heavy splint.

Off-topic:

Has anyone here tried or heard about NBA League Pass Broadband?

I’m considering ditching cable completely, because the main reason for having it is watching the NBA. If the product is actually as good in real life as it’s advertised, I think that’s the route I’m going to take next season.

Sylar, a broken finger I can see. But, a sprain? Kobe played with that the whole year.

It was just the words “season ending” juxtaposed with “pinkie sprain” that made me laugh.

@brgulker

I did the free two-week trial last year and it as pretty awesome. Still, the video quality isn’t that incredible, and justin.tv is free and usually has every game available. Do you know what they’re charging for the upcoming season? I’d totally do something like $7.99 a month or a one-time $50 fee for the quality of the video, but if they’re still charging over $100 it would be just a little too rich for my ramen-and-hotdogs ass.

*was pretty awesome

@QD

It was probably more like, “you were trade filler, we don’t really need you here anyway, we’d rather give the minutes to someone else, why don’t you and your ‘pinkie-strain’ take the rest of the year off?”

@ Joel:

I only saw the prices for last season, but I haven’t looked that closely yet.

I’m not looking for anything like HD quality … frankly, I’d probably only watch them on my laptop (14.1 screen), so it doesn’t need to be that great.

In fact, freeing up the TV for other purposes (read, my wife also likes TV, not just the Pistons) would be one reason for broadband.

I didn’t realize there was a trial period. I’ll have to look into that this season.

QD: I said a million posts ago that Wilcox is made of glass (although I also said Charlie V is super soft and now I’m doing a 180 on him). Wilcox has only played a full 82-game season ONCE in his 6 or 7 year career. And there were tonnes of seasons where he didn’t even come close (25 games played, 37 games played, 29 games played, 46 games played…). For all the arguing against signing Kaman or Brand because of their health, Wilcox doesn’t seem much better. I’ve had him on my fantasy team for a few years now because every now and then he’ll bust out for like 20 points and 18 rebounds or something crazy, but he’s so inconsistent. And that’s when he’s actually playing, which he doesn’t do a lot of.

I welcome him to our team and hope he can do some big things, but I’m far more optimistic about Charlie V and BG.

Oops, and as soon as I hit send I realized I was looking at a split in his games played between two teams because of a trade. So he really hasn’t only played just 25 games in a year, but he’s still hurt a LOT.

We can’t have no glass motherfuckers here in the D. Wilcox, drink your Ben Wallace juice and eat steaks, get brolic, no more season-ending pinky sprains son

@brbulker:
Has anyone here tried or heard about NBA League Pass Broadband?

I could be out of date on this, but when I first bought League Pass I did it for League Pass broadband. To set that up, however, you needed to buy League Pass from DirecTV, which means you need a DTV satellite. I’m glad that was the case, as League Pass broadband is about as great as JustinTV unless you have an awesome web connection. My DSL is not on the fast side, so I suffered with a lot of buffering, a lot of skips, etc. It may not be worth the money just to watch on your computer alone.

Thanks MP.

I do have a (up to) 16MB connection with Comcast, so I would expect buffering wouldn’t be an issue … sounds like the trial is the way to go.

From what I can gather, League Pass broadband is now a standalone offering, which is why it’s attractive. At $85 for the entire year, that’s not a bad price for 40+ games per week. Plus, you can watch any game up to 2 days after it happened on demand. Not bad at all if the picture quality is worth anything, that is.

In Michigan, almost everyone I know has horrible connectivity with Comcast. I remember my connection would cut out 2-3 x a day, due to nothing on my end … it was outrageous, what they were charging, for what little they provided.

"we don’t really need you here anyway, we’d rather give the minutes to someone else, why don’t you and your ‘pinkie-strain’ take the rest of the year off?"

You mean John Kitna’ed.

You mean John Kitna’ed.

The fact that we could even consider comparing the ’Stons to the Lions should tell us something …