FanPost

Hornets v. Pistons Game Recap

Why the Pistons Prevailed

It came to my attention, while perusing the box score of the contest between the Detroit Pistons and the visiting New Orleans Hornets ... that the unusual degree of Team Cohesion exhibited by the victorious Squad -- viz., the Pistons -- could be attributed to one Factor and one Factor ONLY: a Three-Guard Rotation, the Scheme employed by Elite-Level Coaches with Elite-Level Basketball Acumen. The particular Three-Guard Rotation demonstrated by John Kuester, coach of the Pistons side, consisted of the following Three Guards:

[i] Tracy McGrady, OG, also referred to as T-Mac;

[ii] Ben Gordon, OG; and

[iii] Will Bynum, PG.

While most Three-Guard Rotations include a starting PG, said Rotation did not, an inconsistency that caused me no end of Vexation ... until I read the game Recap -- at which time all was made clear, containing as it did the VITAL information relating to the injury-caused absences of Rodney Stuckey, PG; and Richard Hamilton, OG, also referred to as "Rip". Speaking as an Elite-Level Medical Expert with a High-Percentage Knowledge Base of Doctorological Acumen, I became once again rather surprised ... having not previously to tonight's Game heard anything -- in my Lair -- that either Rodney Stuckey, PG; or Richard Hamilton, OG, also referred to as "Rip"; were ailing, or suffering from any unusual Maladies, such as a torn ACL, for which they could have simply opted to wear a knee brace, then subsequently choosing to test their knees, perhaps in a basketball game, the results -- of which -- would determine if they were indeed physically able to Partake in a full-contact, full-length game of basketball at the Highest Level of Basketball Competition, Professionally Speaking, and I do not hesitate to specify, the Competition that I refer to -- thusly -- is a game in the NBA.

All of the above factors given Due Consideration, I arrived at not one, and not three, or any higher number, such as Eleven, but two [2] conclusions, or should I say, THEOREMS, that could possibly ... account for, or explain ... the Three-Guard Rotation implemented by the Detroit Pistons in their contest -- rather, their Competition on the Highest Level of Basketball Endeavour -- against the New Orleans Hornets, the two Explanations being ... I proclaim ... the Explanations enumerated herein, below the current paragraph, which you are now reading -- with your eyes, and possibly, but not definitively, with the aid of Spectacles, Contact lenses, or perhaps LASIK Surgery, which has been reputed to restore one's vision, not necessarily one's Court Vision -- for that is dependent on not only one's Visual Acuity, but also one's Basketball Acumen, and the degree of Eliteness that has, in one's years participating in the Game, ACCRUED to it, i.e., one's Acumen in Matters Basketball-Related and -Encompassing.

The Two, without further ado, Explanations:

Are:

The following:

None but:

[i] Detroit Pistons coach John Kuester, he who has been tasked nigh Two Years Now, of coaching, directing, and otherwise managing the Basketball activities of the Pistons of the city of Detroit of the state of Michigan of the country of the United States, which is the country due south of Canada, as many will agree but I was the first -- [1st] -- to point out -- this same Kuester has grown into a rather remarkable Basketball Analyst, a level of Achievement sure to affect one's Performance in a closely-related Arena such as Basketball Coaching -- and his newly-acquired analytical Acumen led him to conclude, as others but ... especially I ... none other than myself ... have previously concluded -- as True Experthood does not consist of mere Originality -- but instead of having the courage to point out things before they appear Obvious to others -- that a Three-Guard Rotation, consisting of two guards who appear in the Starting Lineup and another, typically an OG, but also possibly, and more rarely, a PG -- who appears not in the starting lineup, but comes off the Bench to substitute for one of the two Starting guards, so that at any given time, two Guards are present on the court for said team, and one rests on the bench, in a rotation-like fashion, hence the Basketball term known as ROTATION, which I most certainly coined, ... -- e.g., Originated and Developed, not formed out of metals, alloys, and the suchlike as a Literal Coin, but Coined in the sense of Invented a Term, or a Word ... and having reached this Decision, Detroit Pistons Coach John Kuester politely requested that two of the several guards on the Detroit Pistons Roster, namely Rodney Stuckey, PG; and Richard Hamilton, OG, also referred to as "Rip"; would not play in the game against the Hornets of the city of New Orleans in the state of Louisiana, which formerly belonged to the Louisiana Territory, which is another word for Area, a Linguistic Concept known as, and occasionally referred to, as a Synonym, meaning Same Name in the Original Greek, which is the language spoken in the Country of Greece.

or:

[ii] The guards mentioned thricely above, in particular, Rodney Stuckey, PG; and Richard Hamilton, OG, also referred to as "Rip"; were actually ailing, despite all indications to the contrary, and their Decision of Declination of Participation in said Competition against the Louisiana-Originating Hornets, was indeed due to illness, in which case, the Acumen that seemed to be Demonstrated by Pistons Coach John Kuester was not indeed said Acumen after all ... but ... instead, was forced upon him by the illness of the Guards Mentioned now four times, in which case, I do not hesitate to call to the attention of you, my reader, and both of your eyes, or possibly just one [1] eye, should any of my readers be Pirates or otherwise visually impaired, which certainly could have happened to some of you, in addition to vision, assisting devices such as Glasses, Contact Lenses, and sundry other possible appliances -- or Implements -- and were all of the foregoing actually Proven to Be Correct, the victory of the Detroit squad over the team from New Orleans, in Louisiana, could not be Accurately Attributed to the Acumen and Acuity of John Kuester, which has been ... in rather Short Supply lately ... but instead due to Fate, Chance -- the random Variety -- in the event of which the Pistons should expect to succeed when Two of their Guards are sick, leaving Three and only Three, not more or less than Three, to converge into an Elite-Level -- conceptually speaking -- Three-Guard Rotation, but in all other cases the Pistons can be expected to LOSE.

[iii] A Third Possibility may come to mind later, in which case I will Edit it into my weblog. You will be kept apprised of any such Developments.

Thank you for your Attention -- American Idiom

FanPosts are user-created posts from the Detroit Bad Boys community and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of all fans or the staff at DBB. The DBB staff reserves the right at any time to edit the contents of FanPosts as they reasonably see fit.

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