Big Men: Who Should We Pursue?
Finals are over for me, giving me loads of free time to waste. Hooray! With this new free time, I've been devoting a lot of time to the moves we can make this offseason. Now, MFMP did a more than admirable job tackling the available spread of free agent point guards. So, to avoid redundancy, I'll skip over that aspect of our plans. We're overstocked with 2's and 3's, so I don't see any point in analyzing our options at those positions. That leaves big men -- which is undoubtedly our biggest "need" position.
Where Are We Now?
As Will Smith famously said in the video for his magnum opus, Will 2K, "You never know where you're goin', 'til you know where you've been." The wisdom of this statement is pretty universal (which is to be expected of Fresh Royalty), and it definitely applies to our offseason plans.
Who's Staying:
- Charlie Villanueva: Barring any trades, we're in for 4 more years of alopecia and tweets from him. Villanueva is the poster boy for this year's struggles. He couldn't play defense, was slowed by injuries, briefly feuded with John Kuester, and -- by pretty much every account -- didn't live up to the contract he was given.
- Jason Maxiell: He's still a fan favorite -- and still goes out of his way to eat a few newborns -- but Maxiell's production has dropped every year since he signed an extension. Most importantly, his post defense is no longer much of a strength. That said, he's still a solid bench player, and I look forward to having him on the team for 3 more seasons
- Chris Wilcox: There's no way he doesn't accept his player option. Wilcox is a bench-warmer being paid like a rotation guy. He wouldn't get close to $3 million through free agency, so he'll stick around (unfortunately).
Who's Leaving:
- Kwame Brown: I really can't see us resigning him. We had some good times with the Cakehammer, but that's in the past -- slipping through our hands like so many passes to the big lug.
Uncertain:
- Ben Wallace: The Benaissance was one of the few silver linings to a turd sandwich of a season. Hopefully Ben will forgo retirement and take the veteran minimum again.
What Are Our Needs?
Defense, for starters. Villanueva deservedly made a few "no-defense" teams, Maxiell's defense has been slipping the past two seasons, and (if he returns) Ben Wallace is not a long-term defensive solution. Our defensive inadequacies might be OK if we had reliable, consistent scoring in the post, but that wasn't really the case, either. Villanueva is a talented post player, but he has a Sheed-esque tendency to take jumpers and 3's instead. Maxiell's dunks are about all he has going in the post, although he has added a semi-reliable close/midrange jump shot. Many things have been said about Ben Wallace's lack of an offensive game, so I'll skip over that. So, our needs are... well, pretty much everything.
The Pistons will address these needs through two means: Free Agency and the Draft. Because we're in the lottery, I'll start with the draft.
The Draft
This is our best opportunity to land an impact player. The Pistons will likely have a top-7 pick, as well as a high second rounder. So who are we looking at?
- Demarcus Cousins: This is pretty dependent on Detroit ending up in the top 4 or 5 picks. There are concerns about his character, but he's just too talented to fall out of that range. Cousins has Kwame Brown size (6'11", 270 lbs), but with soft hands and a myriad of offensive skills. He'd immediately bolster our offensive post play, and has all the tools to be groomed into a good defensive player. At best he's pre-injury Alonzo Mourning, at worst he's Zach Randolph or Derrick Coleman.
- Derrick Favors: He's insanely athletic, and was more impressive at Georgia Tech than his stats would indicate. GT's guards sucked, and were really, really bad at getting the ball to Favors in the post. Plus, he was fighting for touches with Gani Lawal -- who could also go in the first round. When he did get the ball, Favors scored efficiently (61% fg). He also averaged two blocks and one steal per game -- which is pretty impressive. His rebounding could be better, but he'd have good mentors in that department with Big Ben and Maxiell.
- Cole Aldrich: Very solid. Not great. Not much growth potential. He basically projects as a ten and ten guy who will give you good post defense and block a couple shots per game. If we end up in the latter half of the top ten, I'd be happy to pick him.
- Ed Davis: I have never been impressed by him, but he is talented. I really hope we don't pick him, because he looks like a bust, and he didn't handle adversity well at UNC this season. Scouts still have him as a lottery guy, so I guess he merits consideration
- Al-Farouq Aminu: This is pretty much the worst case scenario. He's raw, and he doesn't really fit the 3 or the 4 all that well. He's a great rebounder for his size, and he definitely has potential, but he really doesn't make sense for us. Considering the number of jokes we've made at his expense, the DBB Community would revolt over an AFA pick.
- Jarvis Varnando: He's the only 2nd round option I'll throw out, mainly because we all seem to have a giant man-crush on the Var-nado -- and for good reason. Varnando seems like the perfect successor to Big Ben Wallace. He's the NCAA all-time leader in blocked shots, using both his excellent athleticism and defensive IQ to shut down his man in the post. He even gave Cousins trouble in the SEC championship game. He reminds me a lot of Tyrus Thomas, but I think he's smarter, and rebounds better, albeit with lower upside. If Varnando falls to us in the 2nd round, we have to take him.
Free Agency
The Pistons aren't going to have much cap space, so we're basically limited to the Mid-level and Biannual exceptions. Who can we get in our price range?
- Ben Wallace: I hope we sign him for the veteran minimum, but it would be worth the Biannual, or part of the MLE to resign Big Ben. You all witnessed the Benaissance. Big Ben, like Liam Neeson in Taken has a very special set of skills, and he uses them to great effect -- even despite his age. I think he wants to retire a Piston, so he won't need much coaxing.
- Tyrus Thomas: With the amount of teams who gutted themselves for cap space, I can see someone overpaying for TT's services after losing out on one of the major FA's. Still, there's a decent chance Thomas will be available for the MLE, and with the way he played down the stretch for the Bobcats, he probably warrants that kind of compensation. He's an excellent shot blocker and pickpocket (1.6 blocks and 1.2 steals per game in about 20 minutes), has a solid midrange jumper, and gets to the free throw line. Plus, he's only 23 (well, 24 at the start of next season). If he can get it together mentally, Thomas has the potential to be Josh Smith-lite.
- Brendan Haywood: Good rebounder and post-defender, but pretty limited offensively. Haywood is coming off a great season, but he's injury prone, and is already 30 years old. I like him, but only if we use part of the MLE on him.
- Udonis Haslem: Haslem is a great defensive player and pretty solid on the offensive end. He can defend stretch 4's exceptionally well, but still has the size and smarts to bang in the post. Haslem has always been underrated. He had the second most win shares for Miami last year, and I feel like the Pistons could get him for considerably less than he's worth. He's going to be 30, so his age is a bit of a concern, but I think his talents outweigh that.
- Jermaine O'Neal: There's really no reason to sign him. He sucked in the playoffs, and has aged pretty rapidly over the past couple years. He's still a solid post defender and rebounder, and his offense hasn't fallen off completely, but there are better options.
- Amir Johnson: With the way we booted his ass out of town, I don't think Amir will be too keen to sign here. That's a shame, because he was really, really, really good this year for Toronto. We pretty much know his skill set, so I won't go much further than saying I want him back.
- Channing Frye: An underrated aspect of this year's Suns. I don't see them letting him go, which is OK with me. I like Frye as a player, but his skill set (perimeter offense) doesn't meet our needs.
- Matt Bonner: A worse, older version of Channing Frye. We don't need him, and I sure as hell don't want any part of him.
- Hakim Warrick: An MP mainstay. He's an underrated offensive player, who doesn't do much on the defensive end. The man can dunk, too, which would add some excitement. If we could get him for cheap (maybe the biannual) I think he'd be worth a look.
- Louis Amundson: Man, I would love it if we could get him. The Suns will probably resign him -- and they really should. Amundson averaged 4.7 points, 4.4 rebounds, and almost a block in only 15 minutes per game. He shoots fairly efficiently (55%), crashes the offensive glass, and hustles his ass off. That said, his offense will probably take a dive upon leaving the Steve Nash bubble in Phoenix.
Ideal Course of Action
Our free agent signings are going to depend a lot on who we draft. If the Pistons end up in the top 5, I would hope we draft Cousins/Favors, resign Big Ben, and add another big for depth -- ideally someone like Amundson, or Warrick. If we end up with Aldrich, or forgo drafting a big man (which would be a terrible idea), I'd still want to resign Big Ben (duh), but I'd also like to pursue Thomas or maybe Haslem for a substantial portion (or possibly all) of the Mid-level exception. I'm not counting on us getting Varnando, because I think he'll go before we pick, but I'd take him over most of the Free Agents available -- probably excluding Thomas, Haslem, and Haywood.
FanPosts are user-created posts from the Detroit Bad Boys community and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of all fans or the staff at DBB. The DBB staff reserves the right at any time to edit the contents of FanPosts as they reasonably see fit.
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Rec+
Very nice post, and good breakdown.
The guy who I would add to the draft possibilities is Hassan Whiteside. If Cousins, Favors and Aldrich are all gone, I think gambling on Whiteside might make the most sense. His defensive stats are eye-popping and he wasn’t horrible on offense. Obviously a potential bust, but I’d much, much, much, much, much, much, MUCH rather gamble on athletic 7 footer who has shown game changing defensive ability, than take Aminu, or doomsday scenario; Monroe, with a lottery pick
There’s a couple guys playing overseas who played US college ball that I think could be worth taking a flier on; the two who (if I were Jod) I’d give a chance are Richard Hendrix and Aleks Maric.
Neither are going to be great post defenders, but they’d help beef up the frontcourt and are both excellent rebounders and efficient interior scorers.
Thanks, mate
I’ve always liked Hendrix for some reason. Part of that might be his name (if someone named Richard Hendrix want to play pro ball, nothing should stop him), but his numbers in the D-League were pretty impressive, and with guys like Anthony Tolliver and Reggie Williams making the leap between leagues, I think he’d be worth a shot.
Whiteside has high bust potential, so I feel like Joe might stay away from him. If Cousins, Favors, and Aldrich are gone, then I agree we should consider him — especially over Greg Monroe. Ugh.
"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent
by Thom_not_Tom on May 10, 2010 6:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes, Whiteside over Monroe
He could be the second coming of Marcus Camby
Sign me up for anybody who is Cambyesque
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Awesome work, MFTNT (MFBOOM?)
Great analysis, man. The frontcourt options are going to be pretty hazy until after the draft lottery, when things like this clear up quite a bit. I’m pumped for the discussions that follow, and hope we get ourselves a good pick (though Aminu and Monroe feel like destiny thanks to the Langlois repetition of Dumars private testimony…)
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
MF BOOM!
I could not be happier with that. You win the internet, MP. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mask to buy…
"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent
by Thom_not_Tom on May 10, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions
well its official then
your DBB name shall now be MFBOOM.
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
Dang it! I will never be able to get that idea out of my head. And here I was almost excited to become MFBM.
You can still be excited, MFBM
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
MF BOOM
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
When I played NBA 2ks
I usually created a guy who was the size of shaq, looked like ben wallace, and did a lot of dunk shots and 3-balls, and blocked shots, too. i’d name him something crazy like zeus jackson, and just cheat-mode to 15 championships in a row.
if there was one reason for genetic engineering, zeus jackson would be it. fire up the test tubes, and let’s have us a dunkenstein’s monster in 19 years.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
by sauce1977 on May 11, 2010 6:56 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Rec'd
I’m wondering lately about Troy Murphy and if there’s anything we have that might be enticing enough to take him off Indiana’s hands. He’s a stretch 4 who shoots good percentage and is a consistent double double.
He’s on an expiring deal (2011), so he’s not a long-term commitment; however, Indiana appears to be stockpiling expirings for a rebuild during that summer. Haven’t done the match, but a Tay for Troy Murphy swap looks like it should work, but I’m not sure what it really offers Indiana. And I have no sense of what they want to do with their franchise anyway…
I like Murphy, too
He’s an excellent rebounder, has great range, and a fair amount of win shares (7.8) on a terrible team. His 103 Drtg, which was four points lower than the Pacers’ team average, is pretty impressive too. Murphy doesn’t look like he can play defense, because he’s kind of goofy looking, but he really brought it last year. I’d happily trade Tay for him.
"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent
by Thom_not_Tom on May 11, 2010 9:19 AM EDT up reply actions
I posted a Troy Murphy trade a little while back
Can’t remember who I proposed though…I think it may have been Rip and Max but not 100% sure…in any event the following trade scenario works:
Rip
Maxiell
Summers
for
Foster (expiring next year)
Murphy (expiring next year)
Works from a trade salary perspective and I think it gives each team some good talent. The best thing about this trade is that it would give us the financial flexibility in 2011 to make a run at Marc Gasol (RFA), Kendrick Perkins (FA), Joaquim Noah (RFA), or Jeff Green (RFA) to bolster our frontcourt even further.
Indy gets a explosive under-sized hard-working PF, a consistent scorer to play off Granger, and a project with upside in Summers. Maybe we buy Atlanta’s 1st rounder and throw in our 2nd rounder for this year too…
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 11, 2010 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I vaguely remember that. I promise I wasn’t trying to rip off your idea, Boourns.
Thing is, I read an article last week that suggested Indy was hording cap space for summer 2011. If that’s true — it’s on the interwebz, it has to be!!! — then the trade above pretty much ends the hording cap space strategy.
I admit, a Murphy for Prince trade is only a lateral move at best for them, so it’s got to be sweetened.
So, what can the creative trade minds around DBB make out of a Murphy for Tay based trade?
This works: Tay/Summers for Murphy/Dantay Jones, maybe add our 2nd round pick?
Would save Indiana almost $3m next season, and we’d have to pick up the last few years of Jones crappy contract. I’d kill for this deal to happen, Murphy would be a great fit next to Big Ben.
Yeah...its cool...no big deal
MURPHY IS MINE GOD DAMMIT.
Really though, I read the rest of your post about Indy hoarding cap space and realized that that right there would negate my trade proposal. Of course, if they thought they were getting fair value (hahahahaha) for Rip and Maxiell, then maybe they might feel that is as good of an upgrade as they’re likely to get in the off-season during 2011…
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
+1 2011 on getting Marc Gasol, poofy tailed Noah...
Favre's ankle, Starcaps BS and hopefully a busy Piston offseason, oh my. Go Netherlands/Holland/Dutch Soccer(no its not Football)!
Thank you!
I definitely appreciate this fanpost (unlike some of the other recent ones), it is well written and also is about how to logically improve the team, not just a bash-fest.
I want no part of Ed Davis, he reads more of a bust than Thabeet. At least Thabeet was constantly active on defense, and although he’ll never live up to his draft position, he’s got potential as a good defender. Davis on the other hand just seemed to stand around all the time, how he got any rebounds at all is beyond me.
I would add Udoh, Donuts and Whiteside to that list. If we’re picking at 10, those guys will be long gone. Also you guys should look into Dee Bost, the Varnado’s point guard. The guy is almost as athletic as John Wall, and neutralized him quite well in their matchups. I liked his style of play, very hard nosed, gets to the rim well, and most importantly helped lead his team – a key trait you want from your point guard.
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:06 AM EDT reply actions
Seems like Ed Davis' ceiling is Amir
Might as well just take the finished product. Also I imagine Daniel Orton developing into a foul machine at the next level, but considering basketball executives are idiots he could be part of the conversation when we pick.
Draft Express has an interesting writeup on this French dude who sounds like he might not suck:
http://www.draftexpress.com/article/Finding-a-Niche-for-Kevin-Seraphin-3461
nice find
If we’re picking at 10, I’d definitely give him a long look. It looks like at worst, he’ll be a very good defensive player (and with a 270 pound frame made of purely muscle, he should be able to play center fine despite the height).
But there’s no doubt, if it comes between Aldrich and Davis, I’ll take Aldrich every time.
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 8:19 PM EDT up reply actions
And Donatas MOTIEJUNAS
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Don Atus de la Motorjuices
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Dumbtapas Montyzima
The fuck kinda name is THAT?
by Biz Markie Moon on May 11, 2010 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Done ate us montana tunas
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Honestly, I'd enjoy the Pistons drafting this guy
if for nothing else to see how the collective known as Pistons fans suffer from this:

Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?
yes
I use that gif all the time, or link to the youtube scene of it.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
“Happy Mother’s Day, mom! [link to head exploding]”
by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
haha
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
In case you all haven't heard
Lebron has a boo-boo elbow.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Same here. Yucky.
On an unrelated note, according to Basketball Reference, Serge Ibaka’s full name is Sergeballu LaMu Sayonga Loom Walahas Jonas Hugo Ibaka. Weird.
Or more bad ass than Zeus De La Jackson
if it’s possible. Makes me think Zeus needs a few more names
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:33 PM EDT up reply actions
Zeus De La Jonas Wagner De La Jackson
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Yeah, same here
The utter douchiness and sense of entitlement from LeBron and the Cavs makes me hate them even more than the bitchiness of the Celtics. I still hate them both though.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Oh definitely.
Its a matter of which team makes me projectile vomit less.
Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?
And what is up with that stupid sound whenever the Cavs hit a free throw? It’s gotta be the worst in the NBA. God it really bugs the shit out of me.
My style when I'm manic is straight automatic , Pistons fanatic, love to ball so I'm at it! My style when depressed is readdressing the regress , while everyone today is steady praying for some recess !
Isn't it from Mario Bros.?
Can’t hear it in my head but I believe its the coin sound from Mario Bros.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Nintendo should sue
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
No not that.
Most of the time it just sounds like ‘’Bo bo Bop’’ or something dumb like that. I like the Mario one. Kinda sounds like when you hit the button on your car alarm. Ya know?
Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !
I love how the Cavs offense was basically Lebron throwing himself into any defender to get the foul.
and of course, it worked.
Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?
Somehow
I don’t think that is how the Cavs wanted to start the second half.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
He's kind of funny to watch
The Cavs need to roll him out to the curb in the off season.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
"Lebron is now one for nine..."
<— grabs some lotion, tissue.
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:01 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Rec'd
I can’t resist a wanking reference.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Lebron's Tears
world’s greatest aphrodisiac?
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
But LeBron can't wear you out
because he’s already worn himself out
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:10 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
This is fucking hilarious.
Celtics by 21, crowd about to riot.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
I was in Cleveland last weekend for a film shoot...
…comment by a friend:
“I’ve never seen an economy so dependent on one person.”
Drew Carey?
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:05 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Drew Carey is the majority owner of the Seattle Sounders
The best MLS fanbase in the league baby! True Story.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions
I went to a game in early april and Carey came out to give away a ceremonial scarf to a lucky fan. seemed like a pretty cool thing to do for your fans at a pro game. Good fans in seattle.
by C$ on May 12, 2010 4:38 PM EDT up reply actions
Soccer fans in Seattle are crazy
Season tickets sell out in less than a week, in their first season they had the highest average attendance in the MLS, and people are clamoring for the Sounders to open up rows in the upper bowl at Qwest Field (where the seahawks play) so that they can pack even more people in there.
I went to the FC Chelsea/Sounders Friendly match last summer and Qwest field was packed in a sea of Xbox 360 green.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
AIR BAWLING!!!
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
Dude what was that anthony parker shot
lucky bastard
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
just go to show
Papa Johns had it right

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions
every year he fails the joy of watching his failure becomes more sweet. his tears age like the finest wine and his sorrow is acquiring a rich bouquet.
you know I have to wonder
what do you think random lurkers think of us? I mean we all understand the jokes, but still some of them get pretty weird around here
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:24 PM EDT up reply actions
back when i used to lurk on here i loved all this shit. its what dbb my first stop in the blogosphere.
I love all that goofy shit
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I know
I’m just saying, while I found the whole DBB: where we not only make the news, but blacked out anal occurs thing was hilarious, you have to wonder what George Blaha himself would say if he read that
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions
he would remember that strange weekend where marv albert came into town and he woke up in a days in down river in womens lingerie, with a black eye and bite marks on his back.
well when you put it that way
can’t deny sound logic!
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:35 PM EDT up reply actions
These are our finest vintage 2010 Lebron tears
They have a balanced aroma of hype and underachievement, with a good dose of schadenfreude to mellow it out. Strong notes of failure make these tears to savor with friends and family.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
best drank str8 from the bottle
like a pirate would
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
2009 was also a very good year
As were 2008, 2007, 2006…
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
whenever i drink the tears of lebron for some reason i just….can’t…..stop….DANCING
by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
and miming group pictures
and throwin’ up baby powder
and actin like the homies is bowling pins
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:33 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Like champagne,
I often find myself giggling after imbibing in the sweet nectar of Lebron’s tear ducts.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions
It starts strong and holds it's flavor almost all the way through
Then fizzles in the end.
by Shinons on May 11, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
At this point
The only team that I can make myself root for last is the Suns.
by Taiwanese Tora on May 11, 2010 10:27 PM EDT reply actions
Magic/Suns would be killer
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Magic would probably dominate
It would be high scoring for sure, but I doubt the Suns would be able to slow down Howard without Lopez
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions
I think it has more to do with Amare
He’s finally committed wholeheartedly to defense. If you recall, Nash had a career high 48 against Dallas, but they still lost the game.
Also it helps that they have a real bench rotation now.
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Their bench rotation is entirely unexplained role players though
Amundson and Dudley pretty much stepped up out of nowhere and a Frye has done the same. Then they have Ivan Dragic or whatever his name is who’s like Steve Nash’s stunt double…he’s white, doesn’t look quite like Nash, but operates in a very similar fashion.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Especially because it would royally fuck David Stern
What that David? Two mid-market teams with only one superstar between the two of them (Nash is a superstar but he’s just too damn hilarious for Stern to market around like he does with Kobe/Lebron).
FUCK YOU DAVID STERN!
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Boston's up by 23
LeBron wears 23.
Coincidence? I think not.
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:34 PM EDT reply actions
I noticed this
I’d wanna change my number too
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I hate Boston, but I hate Cleveland more. This dominance is delicious.
by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:36 PM EDT reply actions
If we're lucky
Sheed will get so riled up that he tears off part of LeBron’s ’fro and superglues it to his head. This causes a chain reaction where Witness Protection decides to step in and busts out a shotgun. Unknown to him, secret agent Roscoe P. Wallace had changed his bullets to auto targeting bullets that were pre-programmed specifically for KG, Needs a Wheelchair and Obese Baby. Upon seeing his teammates murdered, Rondo busts out his ghetto side and destroys all the local donut stores, causing Witness Protection to die of shock.
Once the authorities come and finally arrest Rondo, Roscoe secretly slides into the background, where he and Joe Dumars walk off, pinkies intertwined.
by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:42 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
I have no idea what the fuck that means
But I’m rec’ing it for some reason.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
And then, by some odd occurence
Rajon Rondo gets hair all of a sudden and ends up in Detroit, but through wacky hijinks, everybody believes his name Hermes Warhol.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 11, 2010 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Like the MVP
He didn’t show up for the game.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Lebron is sucking such dicks out there on the court tonight
Semi-finals.. you are 3-13 homes
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I just love all the commentary about this possibly being Lebron's last home game as a Cav.
Squeal like a pig Cleveland! Suuuuuie!!!
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

Well, there was the bit that you missed where I distracted him with the cuddly monkey then I said "play time's over" and I hit him in the head with the peace lily.
by Laughton on May 12, 2010 5:57 AM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
Hey, what’s with the beeping shot clock winding down? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before, and it’s really annoying. Do other arenas do that?
by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:42 PM EDT reply actions
ew, they compared Joe Tait to Ernie Harwell
talk about pathetic
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Hey, it’s a good thing Cleveland was able to steal Antawn Jamison away and get Big Z back, huh? They’re playing so well!
by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:45 PM EDT reply actions
All fratello is talking about is the Cavs winning game 6.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Go out and get Vince Carter and TJ Ford
this is the only way to get that elusive title
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Do you think Big Z attracts buzzards at this point? I mean, he doesn’t move very much and he looks kind of smelly.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
The knee pads aren’t really a good look for anyone.
by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Mmmmmm
Look at them sad faces in the stands!
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
+1 for CLE playing De La Soul

it’s funny, I completely wrote Boston off mere months ago.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Mike Brown
Looks like a man who knows it’s time to polish up that resume.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Mike Brown
looks like a california raisin with a learning disability
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:51 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrec
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
I should have added some poorly drawn MS Paint glasses.
by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions
This make me so happy
"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent
by Thom_not_Tom on May 15, 2010 1:59 AM EDT up reply actions
Wow, the commentators sound like they’re giving a eulogy.
by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:50 PM EDT reply actions
hopefully just like this :)
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
no mf-ing doubt!
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
Ima crack some goddamn bottles when those bitches get the broom
aaaand get pissy drunk
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Well, that was lots of fun. I didn't expect to enjoy this this much.
Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?
Worst home loss in Cavs playoff history
Nice game fellers
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
im sure the espn boards are full of lebron and lakers fans going back and forth talking about how lebrons a bitch because he cant fight through injuries like kobe. lakernation is prolly going crazy right now.
you know he hates MVPouter
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
"Me an kenny was sittin in the green room...."
’and those was some of the ugliest fans we ever seen" – Charles Barkley, 1 minute ago
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
yeah me too.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
ohhh i see that they are already busting out the “lebron has no team” arguement. that shit is so old that shaq can guard it.
they're all blaming the coach
and Mo Williams
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Shaq had a decent game
Moe Williams and Antwan Jamison? Not so much.
18 combined points on 7-18 shooting, absolutely no impact on the game other than giving up a bunch of layups.
So Lebron’s carefully gathered supporting cast is made up of a 38 year old, two guys who don’t play defense or make big shots, and a bunch of filler off the bench. And now they have to give Lebron a huge contract if he decides to resign, killing their cap flexibility. At the same time if he leaves the Cavs are a lottery team.
They’re fucked either way.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Mike Brown at the podium
This should be good.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
mike brown rivals flip saunders for silly coach faces
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
the cavs fan were talking about how they need an offensive minded coach who also knows d, it was hard not to log on there and tell that its too bad flip saunders is taken.
One other thing about those fellers over there in cavland
They have 3 different posts on the front page already about the latest loss to the Celts. 3, inside of an hour. Here we have a gamethread and then a wrap-up/fallout one.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
pistons fans have tasted success, they know not to panic. our fanbase knows what it feels like to win and we are the better more intelligent fans for it. cleveland is in full on panic mode after every single playoff loss. they are buggin out about losing tonight then we have been about losing all season.
for example, while funny this dude is an idiot.
Honestly after watching the last two playoff runs I really don’t care if LeBron bails. He sure isn’t playing like a Jordan, Magic or Bird type that carries his team thru sheer will.
Have fun in NYC being Dominique Wilkins Bron
by mgtbfb on May 11, 2010 7:02 PM PDT
just bad fans.
SadPanda1
Your profile pic looks disturbingly like a dick from here. Is it just me or does anyone else see it too? Oh God I hope it’s not just me. Homophobia is setting in. lol. j/k
Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !
homophobes
usually display homosexual tendency.
/just sayin’
/never saw a penis in his icon
/Rorschach’d
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
by sauce1977 on May 12, 2010 4:57 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
sauce
I appreciate your diagnosis but The Homophobia was only a joke. see ‘’j/k/’’? So relax . Would it be better if I said his pic looked like a pussy?
Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !
Iknow what it is now.
But at first glance it kinda looked like a dick or something. Not trying to make fun of anyone. Just saying.
Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !
bad joke is bad
or can that be successfully disputed? you’ve responded to yourself, even.
tell me about your mother
/the 1up business
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
by sauce1977 on May 12, 2010 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Tell me where you live and I'll tell you all about it bitch boy
Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !
Yeah maybe ya did .
Not a good day to ask about my mom. She’s in the Hospital. But I do like the nick name
Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !
Having moms in the hospital is something I've never had to experience.
All my best goes out to you and the family, DB. Medicine has never been better than it is right this second. I’m sure she will rise above and you’ll have her back home soon.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
You are correct
That is my pet iguana, a beast that has withstood many injuries (all self-inflicted) to live for 15 improbable years.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Yeah that was on the money
…MC Eiht no less.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Ice Cube is tiny
and a washed up buster
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
he's wearing lakers-colored gear that would look better on his son
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Yeah I ran my DVR back a sec
good reference
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
first ice cube has a bitch ass show and then ice T gets in a twitter battle with Aimee mann. that aint gangsta.
it ain't right
but i’d take both of their over-the-hill asses over most of the shit today. i still run “check yo self” and “new jack hustler” like it was 1995.
they may be old and grabbing for monies, but they don’t forget how it was.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Ice T is fucking sweet on SVU
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Death Certificate/The Predator are still the very best of Gangsta Rap
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
fuck a karate kid remake
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness!

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 11:37 PM EDT reply actions 9 recs
wrecks!
and effects!
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
Don't cry, dry, your eye

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
wow that is awesome
totally trumps me using the same quote on Twitter linking to a pic of the score and their empty stadium, too.
Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
Twitter
So I still think Cleveland could win this series...
BUT, if the Cavs flame out and lose big again in Game 6, does that mean he leaves Cleveland? My sense is that he’s gonna stay around, but my sense has also been that they’re the favorites to win it all.
Interesting.
I think I sprained my index finger...
clicking “rec” on so many comments in this thread. Well done, everyone.
it was an orgy of pistons fans wallowing in the misery of lebron james last night. im pround of you all.
*sheds a single tear
I missed an orgy?
This is the only time in my life I will be angry for watching Justified instead of doing other stuff.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 12, 2010 12:51 PM EDT up reply actions
A BIG MAN TO ADD TO THE DRAFT BOARDS
This guy should go on the list of Potential “The Next Ben Wallaces”:
http://www.draftexpress.com/article/Finding-a-Niche-for-Kevin-Seraphin-3461/
He stands around 6-9 without shoes, has a huge wingspan,
sounds like a dumars kinda guy
by dandresden on May 12, 2010 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
But can he stroke it? And if so, does he stroke it in a manner that is both long and smooth?
by Birdman84 on May 12, 2010 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
Maybe this guy can slam it, hard and rough?
by garrettelliott on May 12, 2010 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Whatever he does with the rock
I just hope he rides side saddle…IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
you have earned a rec
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
by Mike Payne on May 12, 2010 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Wait...this guy plays barefoot?
THATS CRAZY.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
now this post
needs “whom” in the title. “Big men: Whom should we pursue?”
- end of grammar rant -
just EPINION
by real Rob G on May 12, 2010 5:07 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Well and personally
I’d rather first peruse the big men before I pursue them….just sayin’
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
the danger in pursuing big men
is if they turn around and kick your ass for pursuing them.
just EPINION
by real Rob G on May 12, 2010 10:12 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I can’t tell if you’re joking, or politely correcting him, but in that case who (and not whom) would be correct. Who is always used as the subject (thus who thought that would be the correct independent clause). Whom is to be used in either the dative or accusative cases. For example, to/for whom and whom did Leonidas kill?
by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 9:04 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
cool bro, just thought I’d give people the full story
by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 5:55 PM EDT up reply actions
It's a shame the "- end of grammar rant -" is there
Because ending it with your sig would’ve been UNFATHOMABLY AMAZING. Look, sometimes you need to look someone in the eye and tell them you’re, “not gonna sugarcoat.”
"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent
by Thom_not_Tom on May 15, 2010 1:58 AM EDT up reply actions
Marcin Gortat
Seemed like a post entitled “Big Men: Who Should We Purse?” on DBB ought to have that name in it.
agreed.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Although...
I don’t see a feasible trade scenario here. Orlando would demand to get a big back plus they’d probably want to do so in a manner that reduces their salary spend since they’re significantly over the cap right now.
We don’t really have anyone on our roster to give them that. Based on that assumption, the only package that works is Maxiell + Wallace + Summers for Gortat and I wouldn’t be willing to give that up. We’d have to introduce a 3rd team into the trade mix and if a big is ultimately heading to Orlando, then things get complicated quickly.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Detroit
We should have offered Kwame and a future pick for Gortat. He’s already stated he’s unhappy having such a small backup roll and would have preferred that Orlando didn’t match Dallas’ offer. Orlando also is way over the luxury tax line thanks to Vince and Lewis (neither of whom are even close to what they’re being paid), they could have chosen to either take the financial relief or extend kwame on a smaller deal than Gortat’s (it’s not like playing backup to Howard is all that difficult).
I really like Pietrus, he’s a great complimentary player for Orlando in every respect. The problem is he just would make our guard problems even worse. I wouldn’t trade my best expiring contract just to have more of a logjam, let alone swap first rounders (you could potentially get a better player than Gortat with that 7th pick anyways).
by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 9:08 AM EDT up reply actions
Fair points
I just figure if the front office doesn’t love any of the options in the draft – and they’re all certainly flawed – Gortat would certainly be a lot safer. And that seems pretty reasonable – outside of Favors and Cousins, I don’t see any of these guys who’s upside is dramatically higher than where Gortat’s at right now. Not to mention the perks of getting a guy just entering his prime rather than waiting/hoping for a 19 year old to develop.
For Pietrus, I thought of him exclusively at SF. He’s in the last year of his deal and would give us a veteran at the position to take some of the pressure off the youngsters, but one who wouldn’t need as many minutes as Tay – a guy who’d open up the rotation a bit and give Daye a chance to earn a bigger role.
A big in his prime is a lot more valuable to a team near contending than one building up from scratch. I think it would actually be better to develop one, so that he develops alongside of all the other young guys. That way when team finally is ready, they’ll all be in their prime, instead of some of the core being in their 30s.
As for Pietrus, as far as I can discern he’s always played SG for Orlando. He’s 6’6", got a nice stroke and is a good defender against 2 guards. He’d be giving up some of those advantages if you forced him into the 3 spot, as he’d be going up against bigger players and would be expected to do more slashing instead of spot up shooting.
by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 9:43 AM EDT up reply actions
I don't agree
It’s not like we’re building like the Thunder with very young core guys. If we’re going to compete with this group, we’d be better off trying to make it happen sooner rather than later. And in any case, if instant gratification costs about the same as waiting for the future and the potential upside of the investment isn’t that much higher, what’s the point?
And according to anything I can find, Pietrus plays SF considerably more than guard – he’s listed as starting 24 games at SF, only 1 at SG, and 82games.com puts him as playing 3% of Olrando’s SG time compared to 38% at SF.
overlooked that aspect
I just know that his game is totally that of a SG, and he quite often plays SG for the second unit (Reddick has been handling the ball quite a bit of late).
by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 5:57 PM EDT up reply actions
As an aside, I’ve been impressed with how much Reddick has improved since he got into the league. He’s become a much better passer, defender, and ball handler.
agreed
I can’t stand how deuchy he looks, but he has definitely improved as an all around player.
by bearded thundar on May 14, 2010 9:26 AM EDT up reply actions
I love Gortat. ... but
Orlando’s not under any pressure to move him. Their owner okay’d keeping him around and paying the luxury tax. Yes, he wants a bigger role, but right now, they have a chance to win a chip and an owner willing to pay to do it. They’ll move him when they’re ready and when they get a more competitive offer than anything we can.
I still don’t get the Gortat love, besides the fact that he has an awesome nickname.
by garrettelliott on May 12, 2010 9:10 PM EDT up reply actions
Wait, isn't a cool nickname enough?
Sure, talent is nice and all, but nothing beats a sweet nickname.
A very mobile (and thus far durable) 7 footer who’s in the prime of his career that finishes well around the basket, blocks shots, and rebounds. What’s not to love?
Yeah, he’s really big and surprisingly fast but he just doesn’t actually do much on the court. He never has any impact on the game except that one time when he blocked LeBron and everyone was like, “GORTAT IS AWESOME!!!” In the first playoff round against Charlotte he had all the chance in the world to shine because of Dwight’s foul troubles, but he just didn’t. I’m not saying he can’t be a decent starter, but I just don’t think he’s shown us that much yet.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Well, you gotta consider who’s he’s playing behind and who he’s playing for. The Magic barely even give the ball to Dwight Howard, opting instead to hoist three pointers like it’s a video game. It’s not surprising 1) that he doesn’t play much and 2) that he gets hardly any touches given the system he plays in.
Good point about jacking the threes. Dwight still gets his boards and blocks, though (and fouls).
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 8:00 PM EDT up reply actions
He built a 225 MPH BMW M5 which he streetraces in Florida and says he'll take the pepsi challenge with anybody in the league.

I love it.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Wendy's
is gangsta.
"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"
I like that idea more
But Orlando already has Vince wasting their time at SG, they would have no need for Hamilton (though I’m sure they would have thought about it before they traded for Carter, he’s torched them consistently in the playoffs).
by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 9:10 AM EDT up reply actions
Vince is expiring this year though, isn't he?
I don’t see Rip fitting in well in Orlando. Not enough of a three point shooter.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:28 AM EDT up reply actions
no
http://hoopshype.com/salaries/orlando.htm
he’s under contract for at least next year, with a team option after that (though I doubt their dumb enough to pick it up, even if they win a title I see them declining it and giving him a much smaller offer)
That’s why the Nets essentially gave him away for free. And to be honest, I think that Lee was a better player for their system because he was a better 3 point shooter and a better defender and not to mention had much more financial flexibility (then again judging by Lewis’ deal, money is no object)
by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 6:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Draft Lottery
We can only possibly end up with picks 1-3 or 7-10. Look it up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nba_draft_lottery#Process
So, no pick 4 or 5.
WIKIPWNED!
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 13, 2010 12:55 PM EDT up reply actions

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