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Big Men: Who Should We Pursue?

Finals are over for me, giving me loads of free time to waste. Hooray! With this new free time, I've been devoting a lot of time to the moves we can make this offseason. Now, MFMP did a more than admirable job tackling the available spread of free agent point guards. So, to avoid redundancy, I'll skip over that aspect of our plans. We're overstocked with 2's and 3's, so I don't see any point in analyzing our options at those positions. That leaves big men -- which is undoubtedly our biggest "need" position.

Star-divide

Where Are We Now?

As Will Smith famously said in the video for his magnum opus, Will 2K, "You never know where you're goin', 'til you know where you've been." The wisdom of this statement is pretty universal (which is to be expected of Fresh Royalty), and it definitely applies to our offseason plans.

Who's Staying: 

  • Charlie Villanueva: Barring any trades, we're in for 4 more years of alopecia and tweets from him. Villanueva is the poster boy for this year's struggles. He couldn't play defense, was slowed by injuries, briefly feuded with John Kuester, and -- by pretty much every account -- didn't live up to the contract he was given.
  • Jason Maxiell: He's still a fan favorite -- and still goes out of his way to eat a few newborns -- but Maxiell's production has dropped every year since he signed an extension. Most importantly, his post defense is no longer much of a strength. That said, he's still a solid bench player, and I look forward to having him on the team for 3 more seasons
  • Chris Wilcox: There's no way he doesn't accept his player option. Wilcox is a bench-warmer being paid like a rotation guy. He wouldn't get close to $3 million through free agency, so he'll stick around (unfortunately).

Who's Leaving:

  • Kwame Brown: I really can't see us resigning him. We had some good times with the Cakehammer, but that's in the past -- slipping through our hands like so many passes to the big lug.

Uncertain:

  • Ben Wallace: The Benaissance was one of the few silver linings to a turd sandwich of a season. Hopefully Ben will forgo retirement and take the veteran minimum again.

What Are Our Needs?

Defense, for starters. Villanueva deservedly made a few "no-defense" teams, Maxiell's defense has been slipping the past two seasons, and (if he returns) Ben Wallace is not a long-term defensive solution. Our defensive inadequacies might be OK if we had reliable, consistent scoring in the post, but that wasn't really the case, either. Villanueva is a talented post player, but he has a Sheed-esque tendency to take jumpers and 3's instead. Maxiell's dunks are about all he has going in the post, although he has added a semi-reliable close/midrange jump shot. Many things have been said about Ben Wallace's lack of an offensive game, so I'll skip over that. So, our needs are... well, pretty much everything.

The Pistons will address these needs through two means: Free Agency and the Draft. Because we're in the lottery, I'll start with the draft.

The Draft

This is our best opportunity to land an impact player. The Pistons will likely have a top-7 pick, as well as a high second rounder. So who are we looking at?

  • Demarcus Cousins: This is pretty dependent on Detroit ending up in the top 4 or 5 picks. There are concerns about his character, but he's just too talented to fall out of that range. Cousins has Kwame Brown size (6'11", 270 lbs), but with soft hands and a myriad of offensive skills. He'd immediately bolster our offensive post play, and has all the tools to be groomed into a good defensive player. At best he's pre-injury Alonzo Mourning, at worst he's Zach Randolph or Derrick Coleman.
  • Derrick Favors: He's insanely athletic, and was more impressive at Georgia Tech than his stats would indicate. GT's guards sucked, and were really, really bad at getting the ball to Favors in the post. Plus, he was fighting for touches with Gani Lawal -- who could also go in the first round. When he did get the ball, Favors scored efficiently (61% fg). He also averaged two blocks and one steal per game -- which is pretty impressive. His rebounding could be better, but he'd have good mentors in that department with Big Ben and Maxiell. 
  • Cole Aldrich: Very solid. Not great. Not much growth potential. He basically projects as a ten and ten guy who will give you good post defense and block a couple shots per game. If we end up in the latter half of the top ten, I'd be happy to pick him.
  • Ed Davis: I have never been impressed by him, but he is talented. I really hope we don't pick him, because he looks like a bust, and he didn't handle adversity well at UNC this season. Scouts still have him as a lottery guy, so I guess he merits consideration
  • Al-Farouq Aminu: This is pretty much the worst case scenario. He's raw, and he doesn't really fit the 3 or the 4 all that well. He's a great rebounder for his size, and he definitely has potential, but he really doesn't make sense for us. Considering the number of jokes we've made at his expense, the DBB Community would revolt over an AFA pick.
  • Jarvis Varnando: He's the only 2nd round option I'll throw out, mainly because we all seem to have a giant man-crush on the Var-nado -- and for good reason. Varnando seems like the perfect successor to Big Ben Wallace. He's the NCAA all-time leader in blocked shots, using both his excellent athleticism and defensive IQ to shut down his man in the post. He even gave Cousins trouble in the SEC championship game. He reminds me a lot of Tyrus Thomas, but I think he's smarter, and rebounds better, albeit with lower upside. If Varnando falls to us in the 2nd round, we have to take him.

Free Agency

The Pistons aren't going to have much cap space, so we're basically limited to the Mid-level and Biannual exceptions. Who can we get in our price range?

  • Ben Wallace: I hope we sign him for the veteran minimum, but it would be worth the Biannual, or part of the MLE to resign Big Ben. You all witnessed the Benaissance. Big Ben, like Liam Neeson in Taken has a very special set of skills, and he uses them to great effect -- even despite his age. I think he wants to retire a Piston, so he won't need much coaxing. 
  • Tyrus Thomas: With the amount of teams who gutted themselves for cap space, I can see someone overpaying for TT's services after losing out on one of the major FA's. Still, there's a decent chance Thomas will be available for the MLE, and with the way he played down the stretch for the Bobcats, he probably warrants that kind of compensation. He's an excellent shot blocker and pickpocket (1.6 blocks and 1.2 steals per game in about 20 minutes), has a solid midrange jumper, and gets to the free throw line. Plus, he's only 23 (well, 24 at the start of next season). If he can get it together mentally, Thomas has the potential to be Josh Smith-lite.
  • Brendan Haywood: Good rebounder and post-defender, but pretty limited offensively. Haywood is coming off a great season, but he's injury prone, and is already 30 years old. I like him, but only if we use part of the MLE on him.
  • Udonis Haslem: Haslem is a great defensive player and pretty solid on the offensive end. He can defend stretch 4's exceptionally well, but still has the size and smarts to bang in the post. Haslem has always been underrated. He had the second most win shares for Miami last year, and I feel like the Pistons could get him for considerably less than he's worth. He's going to be 30, so his age is a bit of a concern, but I think his talents outweigh that.
  • Jermaine O'Neal: There's really no reason to sign him. He sucked in the playoffs, and has aged pretty rapidly over the past couple years. He's still a solid post defender and rebounder, and his offense hasn't fallen off completely, but there are better options.
  • Amir Johnson: With the way we booted his ass out of town, I don't think Amir will be too keen to sign here. That's a shame, because he was really, really, really good this year for Toronto. We pretty much know his skill set, so I won't go much further than saying I want him back.
  • Channing Frye: An underrated aspect of this year's Suns. I don't see them letting him go, which is OK with me. I like Frye as a player, but his skill set (perimeter offense) doesn't meet our needs.
  • Matt Bonner: A worse, older version of Channing Frye. We don't need him, and I sure as hell don't want any part of him.
  • Hakim Warrick: An MP mainstay. He's an underrated offensive player, who doesn't do much on the defensive end. The man can dunk, too, which would add some excitement. If we could get him for cheap (maybe the biannual) I think he'd be worth a look.
  • Louis Amundson: Man, I would love it if we could get him. The Suns will probably resign him -- and they really should. Amundson averaged 4.7 points, 4.4 rebounds, and almost a block in only 15 minutes per game. He shoots fairly efficiently (55%), crashes the offensive glass, and hustles his ass off. That said, his offense will probably take a dive upon leaving the Steve Nash bubble in Phoenix.

Ideal Course of Action

Our free agent signings are going to depend a lot on who we draft. If the Pistons end up in the top 5, I would hope we draft Cousins/Favors, resign Big Ben, and add another big for depth -- ideally someone like Amundson, or Warrick. If we end up with Aldrich, or forgo drafting a big man (which would be a terrible idea), I'd still want to resign Big Ben (duh), but I'd also like to pursue Thomas or maybe Haslem for a substantial portion (or possibly all) of the Mid-level exception. I'm not counting on us getting Varnando, because I think he'll go before we pick, but I'd take him over most of the Free Agents available -- probably excluding Thomas, Haslem, and Haywood.

FanPosts are user-created posts from the Detroit Bad Boys community and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of all fans or the staff at DBB. The DBB staff reserves the right at any time to edit the contents of FanPosts as they reasonably see fit.

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Rec+

Very nice post, and good breakdown.

The guy who I would add to the draft possibilities is Hassan Whiteside. If Cousins, Favors and Aldrich are all gone, I think gambling on Whiteside might make the most sense. His defensive stats are eye-popping and he wasn’t horrible on offense. Obviously a potential bust, but I’d much, much, much, much, much, much, MUCH rather gamble on athletic 7 footer who has shown game changing defensive ability, than take Aminu, or doomsday scenario; Monroe, with a lottery pick

There’s a couple guys playing overseas who played US college ball that I think could be worth taking a flier on; the two who (if I were Jod) I’d give a chance are Richard Hendrix and Aleks Maric.

Neither are going to be great post defenders, but they’d help beef up the frontcourt and are both excellent rebounders and efficient interior scorers.

by Gabe F-B on May 10, 2010 5:59 PM EDT reply actions  

Thanks, mate

I’ve always liked Hendrix for some reason. Part of that might be his name (if someone named Richard Hendrix want to play pro ball, nothing should stop him), but his numbers in the D-League were pretty impressive, and with guys like Anthony Tolliver and Reggie Williams making the leap between leagues, I think he’d be worth a shot.

Whiteside has high bust potential, so I feel like Joe might stay away from him. If Cousins, Favors, and Aldrich are gone, then I agree we should consider him — especially over Greg Monroe. Ugh.

"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent

by Thom_not_Tom on May 10, 2010 6:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yes, Whiteside over Monroe

He could be the second coming of Marcus Camby

by Arrow1 on May 13, 2010 6:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

Wow, didn’t realize he projected that way. My interest is piqued.

by brgulker on May 13, 2010 8:41 AM EDT up reply actions  

Sign me up for anybody who is Cambyesque

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 13, 2010 12:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Awesome work, MFTNT (MFBOOM?)

Great analysis, man. The frontcourt options are going to be pretty hazy until after the draft lottery, when things like this clear up quite a bit. I’m pumped for the discussions that follow, and hope we get ourselves a good pick (though Aminu and Monroe feel like destiny thanks to the Langlois repetition of Dumars private testimony…)

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 10, 2010 9:54 PM EDT reply actions  

MF BOOM!

I could not be happier with that. You win the internet, MP. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mask to buy…

"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent

by Thom_not_Tom on May 10, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

well its official then

your DBB name shall now be MFBOOM.

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 10, 2010 10:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

Not to be confused with Baron Davis’ Chinese shoes – the BD DOOM

Buh-duh-doom, buh-duh-doom, buh-duh-doom-doom-doom…

/gotellbill’d

It's Iupati Time!

by TDP on May 11, 2010 1:08 AM EDT up reply actions  

MFBOOM is so much better than my DBB nickname, MFBM.

by Birdman84 on May 11, 2010 12:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wait, I though that was my nickname :-(

by bugman222 on May 11, 2010 12:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

You can have it, bugman.

I have no desire to be m’fing bowel movement.

by Birdman84 on May 11, 2010 4:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

Dang it! I will never be able to get that idea out of my head. And here I was almost excited to become MFBM.

by bugman222 on May 12, 2010 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

You can still be excited, MFBM

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 12, 2010 5:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

Nice article

I am looking forward draft day.
I prefer Cole Aldrich.

Where broken English happens

by OK from J on May 11, 2010 12:22 AM EDT reply actions  

MF BOOM

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 12:35 AM EDT reply actions  

When I played NBA 2ks

I usually created a guy who was the size of shaq, looked like ben wallace, and did a lot of dunk shots and 3-balls, and blocked shots, too. i’d name him something crazy like zeus jackson, and just cheat-mode to 15 championships in a row.

if there was one reason for genetic engineering, zeus jackson would be it. fire up the test tubes, and let’s have us a dunkenstein’s monster in 19 years.

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

by sauce1977 on May 11, 2010 6:56 AM EDT reply actions   1 recs

Sounds good

But can we name him Zeus de la Jackson? Sounds more badass to me.

by Shinons on May 11, 2010 8:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

Rec'd

I’m wondering lately about Troy Murphy and if there’s anything we have that might be enticing enough to take him off Indiana’s hands. He’s a stretch 4 who shoots good percentage and is a consistent double double.

He’s on an expiring deal (2011), so he’s not a long-term commitment; however, Indiana appears to be stockpiling expirings for a rebuild during that summer. Haven’t done the match, but a Tay for Troy Murphy swap looks like it should work, but I’m not sure what it really offers Indiana. And I have no sense of what they want to do with their franchise anyway…

by brgulker on May 11, 2010 8:51 AM EDT reply actions  

I like Murphy, too

He’s an excellent rebounder, has great range, and a fair amount of win shares (7.8) on a terrible team. His 103 Drtg, which was four points lower than the Pacers’ team average, is pretty impressive too. Murphy doesn’t look like he can play defense, because he’s kind of goofy looking, but he really brought it last year. I’d happily trade Tay for him.

"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent

by Thom_not_Tom on May 11, 2010 9:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

I posted a Troy Murphy trade a little while back

Can’t remember who I proposed though…I think it may have been Rip and Max but not 100% sure…in any event the following trade scenario works:

Rip
Maxiell
Summers

for

Foster (expiring next year)
Murphy (expiring next year)

Works from a trade salary perspective and I think it gives each team some good talent. The best thing about this trade is that it would give us the financial flexibility in 2011 to make a run at Marc Gasol (RFA), Kendrick Perkins (FA), Joaquim Noah (RFA), or Jeff Green (RFA) to bolster our frontcourt even further.

Indy gets a explosive under-sized hard-working PF, a consistent scorer to play off Granger, and a project with upside in Summers. Maybe we buy Atlanta’s 1st rounder and throw in our 2nd rounder for this year too…

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 11, 2010 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

I vaguely remember that. I promise I wasn’t trying to rip off your idea, Boourns.

Thing is, I read an article last week that suggested Indy was hording cap space for summer 2011. If that’s true — it’s on the interwebz, it has to be!!! — then the trade above pretty much ends the hording cap space strategy.

I admit, a Murphy for Prince trade is only a lateral move at best for them, so it’s got to be sweetened.

So, what can the creative trade minds around DBB make out of a Murphy for Tay based trade?

by brgulker on May 11, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

This works: Tay/Summers for Murphy/Dantay Jones, maybe add our 2nd round pick?

Would save Indiana almost $3m next season, and we’d have to pick up the last few years of Jones crappy contract. I’d kill for this deal to happen, Murphy would be a great fit next to Big Ben.

by Gabe F-B on May 11, 2010 2:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

From what I’ve read, they’re not crazy about Jones’ deal and would like to get out of it. In my mind, it’s worth taking on his contract if it nets us Murphy (assuming we could and would retain him on a similar contract, slightly smaller if possible).

by brgulker on May 12, 2010 8:32 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah...its cool...no big deal

MURPHY IS MINE GOD DAMMIT.

Really though, I read the rest of your post about Indy hoarding cap space and realized that that right there would negate my trade proposal. Of course, if they thought they were getting fair value (hahahahaha) for Rip and Maxiell, then maybe they might feel that is as good of an upgrade as they’re likely to get in the off-season during 2011…

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 11, 2010 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

+1 2011 on getting Marc Gasol, poofy tailed Noah...

Favre's ankle, Starcaps BS and hopefully a busy Piston offseason, oh my. Go Netherlands/Holland/Dutch Soccer(no its not Football)!

by VikesPma on May 11, 2010 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Thank you!

I definitely appreciate this fanpost (unlike some of the other recent ones), it is well written and also is about how to logically improve the team, not just a bash-fest.

I want no part of Ed Davis, he reads more of a bust than Thabeet. At least Thabeet was constantly active on defense, and although he’ll never live up to his draft position, he’s got potential as a good defender. Davis on the other hand just seemed to stand around all the time, how he got any rebounds at all is beyond me.

I would add Udoh, Donuts and Whiteside to that list. If we’re picking at 10, those guys will be long gone. Also you guys should look into Dee Bost, the Varnado’s point guard. The guy is almost as athletic as John Wall, and neutralized him quite well in their matchups. I liked his style of play, very hard nosed, gets to the rim well, and most importantly helped lead his team – a key trait you want from your point guard.

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:06 AM EDT reply actions  

Seems like Ed Davis' ceiling is Amir

Might as well just take the finished product. Also I imagine Daniel Orton developing into a foul machine at the next level, but considering basketball executives are idiots he could be part of the conversation when we pick.

Draft Express has an interesting writeup on this French dude who sounds like he might not suck:
http://www.draftexpress.com/article/Finding-a-Niche-for-Kevin-Seraphin-3461

by Shinons on May 11, 2010 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

nice find

If we’re picking at 10, I’d definitely give him a long look. It looks like at worst, he’ll be a very good defensive player (and with a 270 pound frame made of purely muscle, he should be able to play center fine despite the height).

But there’s no doubt, if it comes between Aldrich and Davis, I’ll take Aldrich every time.

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 8:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

And Donatas MOTIEJUNAS

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 11, 2010 4:12 PM EDT up reply actions  

Don Atus de la Motorjuices

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 11, 2010 4:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

Done ate us montana tunas

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 11, 2010 6:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

Honestly, I'd enjoy the Pistons drafting this guy

if for nothing else to see how the collective known as Pistons fans suffer from this:

Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?

by Kriz on May 11, 2010 6:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

The movie Scanners, I think.

Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?

by Kriz on May 11, 2010 7:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

it is indeed scanners

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

yes

I use that gif all the time, or link to the youtube scene of it.

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

by sauce1977 on May 11, 2010 10:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

“Happy Mother’s Day, mom! [link to head exploding]”

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

haha

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

she laughs @ that kind of stuff

and gets grossed out too

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

by sauce1977 on May 11, 2010 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

Outside of the draft

I’d happily give up our first rounder for JaVale McGee or DeAndre Jordan.

by Shinons on May 11, 2010 8:32 PM EDT reply actions  

In case you all haven't heard

Lebron has a boo-boo elbow.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 9:09 PM EDT reply actions  

Good god Ray Allen hits the most amazing shots.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 9:16 PM EDT reply actions  

I find myself rooting for the C's

I feel dirty.

Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?

by Kriz on May 11, 2010 9:17 PM EDT reply actions  

Same here. Yucky.

On an unrelated note, according to Basketball Reference, Serge Ibaka’s full name is Sergeballu LaMu Sayonga Loom Walahas Jonas Hugo Ibaka. Weird.

by Shinons on May 11, 2010 9:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

Or more bad ass than Zeus De La Jackson

if it’s possible. Makes me think Zeus needs a few more names

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

Zeus De La Jonas Wagner De La Jackson

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, same here

The utter douchiness and sense of entitlement from LeBron and the Cavs makes me hate them even more than the bitchiness of the Celtics. I still hate them both though.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 9:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh definitely.

Its a matter of which team makes me projectile vomit less.

Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?

by Kriz on May 11, 2010 9:20 PM EDT up reply actions  

For me

It’s that the Celtics’ window of relevant douchiness is quickly closing before they become the 2007 Heat whereas we have to deal with Lebron’s shit for another decade. And they’re more likely to get swept by the Magic.

by Shinons on May 11, 2010 9:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

And what is up with that stupid sound whenever the Cavs hit a free throw? It’s gotta be the worst in the NBA. God it really bugs the shit out of me.

My style when I'm manic is straight automatic , Pistons fanatic, love to ball so I'm at it! My style when depressed is readdressing the regress , while everyone today is steady praying for some recess !

by DetBalla on May 11, 2010 10:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

Isn't it from Mario Bros.?

Can’t hear it in my head but I believe its the coin sound from Mario Bros.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

i know they play the sound of mario eating a power up when they hit a three or something.

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 12:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

Nintendo should sue

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

they should feed lebron to a pack of ravenous yoshis.

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

No not that.

Most of the time it just sounds like ‘’Bo bo Bop’’ or something dumb like that. I like the Mario one. Kinda sounds like when you hit the button on your car alarm. Ya know?

Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !

by DetBalla on May 12, 2010 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

He’s halfway to the least impressive triple double in NBA history.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 9:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

Somehow

I don’t think that is how the Cavs wanted to start the second half.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 9:43 PM EDT reply actions  

He's kind of funny to watch

The Cavs need to roll him out to the curb in the off season.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 9:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

"Lebron is now one for nine..."

<— grabs some lotion, tissue.

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:01 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

Rec'd

I can’t resist a wanking reference.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

Lebron's Tears

world’s greatest aphrodisiac?

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

Even better than tiger dick

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

But LeBron can't wear you out

because he’s already worn himself out

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:10 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

This is fucking hilarious.

Celtics by 21, crowd about to riot.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:03 PM EDT reply actions  

I was in Cleveland last weekend for a film shoot...

…comment by a friend:

“I’ve never seen an economy so dependent on one person.”

by Quick Darshan on May 11, 2010 10:04 PM EDT reply actions  

Drew Carey is the majority owner of the Seattle Sounders

The best MLS fanbase in the league baby! True Story.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

I went to a game in early april and Carey came out to give away a ceremonial scarf to a lucky fan. seemed like a pretty cool thing to do for your fans at a pro game. Good fans in seattle.

by C$ on May 12, 2010 4:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

Soccer fans in Seattle are crazy

Season tickets sell out in less than a week, in their first season they had the highest average attendance in the MLS, and people are clamoring for the Sounders to open up rows in the upper bowl at Qwest Field (where the seahawks play) so that they can pack even more people in there.

I went to the FC Chelsea/Sounders Friendly match last summer and Qwest field was packed in a sea of Xbox 360 green.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 6:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

I'm lovin' it.

Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?

by Kriz on May 11, 2010 10:06 PM EDT reply actions  

AIR BAWLING!!!

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:07 PM EDT reply actions  

Dude what was that anthony parker shot

lucky bastard

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:10 PM EDT reply actions  

this is so sweet, cavs about to go down!

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:19 PM EDT reply actions  

i will literally be salivating during game 6

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:19 PM EDT reply actions  

every year he fails the joy of watching his failure becomes more sweet. his tears age like the finest wine and his sorrow is acquiring a rich bouquet.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

you know I have to wonder

what do you think random lurkers think of us? I mean we all understand the jokes, but still some of them get pretty weird around here

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

back when i used to lurk on here i loved all this shit. its what dbb my first stop in the blogosphere.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

I love all that goofy shit

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

I know

I’m just saying, while I found the whole DBB: where we not only make the news, but blacked out anal occurs thing was hilarious, you have to wonder what George Blaha himself would say if he read that

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

he would remember that strange weekend where marv albert came into town and he woke up in a days in down river in womens lingerie, with a black eye and bite marks on his back.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

“days inn” i mean

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

These are our finest vintage 2010 Lebron tears

They have a balanced aroma of hype and underachievement, with a good dose of schadenfreude to mellow it out. Strong notes of failure make these tears to savor with friends and family.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

best drank str8 from the bottle

like a pirate would

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

2009 was also a very good year

As were 2008, 2007, 2006…

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

whenever i drink the tears of lebron for some reason i just….can’t…..stop….DANCING

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

and miming group pictures

and throwin’ up baby powder
and actin like the homies is bowling pins

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:33 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Like champagne,

I often find myself giggling after imbibing in the sweet nectar of Lebron’s tear ducts.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

At this point

The only team that I can make myself root for last is the Suns.

by Taiwanese Tora on May 11, 2010 10:27 PM EDT reply actions  

Magic/Suns would be killer

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

Magic would probably dominate

It would be high scoring for sure, but I doubt the Suns would be able to slow down Howard without Lopez

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

I think it has more to do with Amare

He’s finally committed wholeheartedly to defense. If you recall, Nash had a career high 48 against Dallas, but they still lost the game.

Also it helps that they have a real bench rotation now.

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

Their bench rotation is entirely unexplained role players though

Amundson and Dudley pretty much stepped up out of nowhere and a Frye has done the same. Then they have Ivan Dragic or whatever his name is who’s like Steve Nash’s stunt double…he’s white, doesn’t look quite like Nash, but operates in a very similar fashion.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

Especially because it would royally fuck David Stern

What that David? Two mid-market teams with only one superstar between the two of them (Nash is a superstar but he’s just too damn hilarious for Stern to market around like he does with Kobe/Lebron).

FUCK YOU DAVID STERN!

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

Boston's up by 23

LeBron wears 23.

Coincidence? I think not.

by bearded thundar on May 11, 2010 10:34 PM EDT reply actions  

I noticed this

I’d wanna change my number too

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

I hate Boston, but I hate Cleveland more. This dominance is delicious.

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:36 PM EDT reply actions  

I have no idea what the fuck that means

But I’m rec’ing it for some reason.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

And then, by some odd occurence

Rajon Rondo gets hair all of a sudden and ends up in Detroit, but through wacky hijinks, everybody believes his name Hermes Warhol.

by Biz Markie Moon on May 11, 2010 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

Like the MVP

He didn’t show up for the game.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

i think he was injured during a tragic baseball miming accident.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

Lebron is sucking such dicks out there on the court tonight

Semi-finals.. you are 3-13 homes

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:37 PM EDT reply actions  

I just love all the commentary about this possibly being Lebron's last home game as a Cav.

Squeal like a pig Cleveland! Suuuuuie!!!

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:41 PM EDT reply actions  

Haha! I’m disturbed……………….but rec’d.

by garrettelliott on May 12, 2010 9:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

lol love it, rec’d

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

Hey, what’s with the beeping shot clock winding down? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before, and it’s really annoying. Do other arenas do that?

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:42 PM EDT reply actions  

only at the Q cuz its wild and crazy!

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

ew, they compared Joe Tait to Ernie Harwell

talk about pathetic

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:43 PM EDT reply actions  

was that the bloated dude in the cosby sweater they just showed? he looked like he ate ernie

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

Hey, it’s a good thing Cleveland was able to steal Antawn Jamison away and get Big Z back, huh? They’re playing so well!

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:45 PM EDT reply actions  

Mo Williams, Z, Shaq...

Maybe next year they’ll get Richard Jefferson!

by Shinons on May 11, 2010 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

All fratello is talking about is the Cavs winning game 6.

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

also acquiring shaq, that really put them over the top.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

Go out and get Vince Carter and TJ Ford

this is the only way to get that elusive title

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

needs a little t-mac too.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

Do you think Big Z attracts buzzards at this point? I mean, he doesn’t move very much and he looks kind of smelly.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

shaq looks really pathetic too, he even flops slow.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

The knee pads aren’t really a good look for anyone.

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

Mmmmmm

Look at them sad faces in the stands!

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:48 PM EDT reply actions  

its almost as bad as j-smoove pouty face.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

Doc Rivers sure has the crazy eyes.

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:49 PM EDT reply actions  

+1 for CLE playing De La Soul

it’s funny, I completely wrote Boston off mere months ago.

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:50 PM EDT reply actions  

Mike Brown

Looks like a man who knows it’s time to polish up that resume.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 10:50 PM EDT reply actions  

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrec

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

win.

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

I should have added some poorly drawn MS Paint glasses.

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

This make me so happy

"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent

by Thom_not_Tom on May 15, 2010 1:59 AM EDT up reply actions  

Wow, the commentators sound like they’re giving a eulogy.

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 10:50 PM EDT reply actions  

i wonder how the cavs are going to come out in game 6

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:52 PM EDT reply actions  

hopefully just like this :)

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

word up mp, i hope so. i will jizz in my pants if that happens.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions  

no mf-ing doubt!

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 11, 2010 10:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ima crack some goddamn bottles when those bitches get the broom

aaaand get pissy drunk

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

Worst home loss in Cavs playoff history

Nice game fellers

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 10:54 PM EDT reply actions  

im sure the espn boards are full of lebron and lakers fans going back and forth talking about how lebrons a bitch because he cant fight through injuries like kobe. lakernation is prolly going crazy right now.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 10:57 PM EDT reply actions  

Fanbois are weird

I’m sure glad they’re gone from this neck of the woods…

by Shinons on May 11, 2010 10:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

i dont think i could handle being in LA, the kobe fans make that whole state sound like retards.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

sheed was laughing it up tonight.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:04 PM EDT reply actions  

you know he hates MVPouter

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

im sure sheed is taking almost as much pleasure from this as we all are.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

"Me an kenny was sittin in the green room...."

’and those was some of the ugliest fans we ever seen" – Charles Barkley, 1 minute ago

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:08 PM EDT reply actions  

haha, good old chuck.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:08 PM EDT up reply actions  

Suns bench > Lakers bench.

by garrettelliott on May 11, 2010 11:09 PM EDT reply actions  

yeah suns second unit is going to roll the lakers.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

i think im going to check out the immense sadness that will be going on at fear the sword.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:10 PM EDT reply actions  

yeah me too.

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

ohhh i see that they are already busting out the “lebron has no team” arguement. that shit is so old that shaq can guard it.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

they're all blaming the coach

and Mo Williams

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

thats all fine and good, but this loss IME is squarely on the shoulder of LBJerkoff.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

Shaq had a decent game

Moe Williams and Antwan Jamison? Not so much.

18 combined points on 7-18 shooting, absolutely no impact on the game other than giving up a bunch of layups.

So Lebron’s carefully gathered supporting cast is made up of a 38 year old, two guys who don’t play defense or make big shots, and a bunch of filler off the bench. And now they have to give Lebron a huge contract if he decides to resign, killing their cap flexibility. At the same time if he leaves the Cavs are a lottery team.

They’re fucked either way.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 11:15 PM EDT reply actions  

shaq only had 4 rebounds though, a seven footer playing meaningful minutes should get way more than that.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

True

And as Barkley put it, at this point in Shaq’s career you do not want him to be your leading scorer.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 12, 2010 12:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

Mike Brown at the podium

This should be good.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 11:16 PM EDT reply actions  

“dont blame me i just did what lebron told me”

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

mike brown rivals flip saunders for silly coach faces

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

the cavs fan were talking about how they need an offensive minded coach who also knows d, it was hard not to log on there and tell that its too bad flip saunders is taken.

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 12:07 AM EDT up reply actions  

One other thing about those fellers over there in cavland

They have 3 different posts on the front page already about the latest loss to the Celts. 3, inside of an hour. Here we have a gamethread and then a wrap-up/fallout one.

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 12, 2010 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

pistons fans have tasted success, they know not to panic. our fanbase knows what it feels like to win and we are the better more intelligent fans for it. cleveland is in full on panic mode after every single playoff loss. they are buggin out about losing tonight then we have been about losing all season.

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 12:27 AM EDT up reply actions  

for example, while funny this dude is an idiot.

Honestly after watching the last two playoff runs I really don’t care if LeBron bails. He sure isn’t playing like a Jordan, Magic or Bird type that carries his team thru sheer will.

Have fun in NYC being Dominique Wilkins Bron

by mgtbfb on May 11, 2010 7:02 PM PDT

just bad fans.

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 1:51 AM EDT up reply actions  

SadPanda1

Your profile pic looks disturbingly like a dick from here. Is it just me or does anyone else see it too? Oh God I hope it’s not just me. Homophobia is setting in. lol. j/k

Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !

by DetBalla on May 12, 2010 4:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

homophobes

usually display homosexual tendency.

/just sayin’
/never saw a penis in his icon
/Rorschach’d

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

by sauce1977 on May 12, 2010 4:57 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

sauce

I appreciate your diagnosis but The Homophobia was only a joke. see ‘’j/k/’’? So relax . Would it be better if I said his pic looked like a pussy?

Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !

by DetBalla on May 12, 2010 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

Iknow what it is now.

But at first glance it kinda looked like a dick or something. Not trying to make fun of anyone. Just saying.

Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !

by DetBalla on May 12, 2010 5:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

If it makes anyone feel better my icon is a pic of an asshole.lol

Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !

by DetBalla on May 12, 2010 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

bad joke is bad

or can that be successfully disputed? you’ve responded to yourself, even.

tell me about your mother

/the 1up business

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

by sauce1977 on May 12, 2010 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

haha, we've struck a nerve

u stay real, gorillaballa

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

by sauce1977 on May 12, 2010 5:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah maybe ya did .

Not a good day to ask about my mom. She’s in the Hospital. But I do like the nick name

Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !

by DetBalla on May 12, 2010 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

Thoughts and prayers, DetBalla.

But Sauce’s first comment was gold.

by brgulker on May 13, 2010 8:42 AM EDT up reply actions  

Having moms in the hospital is something I've never had to experience.

All my best goes out to you and the family, DB. Medicine has never been better than it is right this second. I’m sure she will rise above and you’ll have her back home soon.

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 13, 2010 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

I experienced my mother going into the hospital last year. It’s heart-wrenching.

by brgulker on May 13, 2010 5:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

You are correct

That is my pet iguana, a beast that has withstood many injuries (all self-inflicted) to live for 15 improbable years.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 13, 2010 9:55 AM EDT up reply actions  

Or not.

I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.

by SadPanda1 on May 11, 2010 11:16 PM EDT reply actions  

that sounds like a great show ice cube! what the fuck happened to you?

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:20 PM EDT reply actions  

they are making an NWA movie i guess. wonder whos going to play Eazy E

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah that was on the money

…MC Eiht no less.

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 12, 2010 5:54 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ice Cube is tiny

and a washed up buster

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:22 PM EDT reply actions  

is he wearing his costume from john carpenters ghosts of mars in this clip?

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

he's wearing lakers-colored gear that would look better on his son

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

yeah in the clip from his whack ass show he was dressed like special ops or something.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah I ran my DVR back a sec

good reference

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

first ice cube has a bitch ass show and then ice T gets in a twitter battle with Aimee mann. that aint gangsta.

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:28 PM EDT reply actions  

it ain't right

but i’d take both of their over-the-hill asses over most of the shit today. i still run “check yo self” and “new jack hustler” like it was 1995.

they may be old and grabbing for monies, but they don’t forget how it was.

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

by sauce1977 on May 12, 2010 12:10 AM EDT up reply actions  

i enjoy ice t on SVU, he always has the best/silliest lines.

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 12:16 AM EDT up reply actions  

Ice T is fucking sweet on SVU

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 12:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

Death Certificate/The Predator are still the very best of Gangsta Rap

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 12, 2010 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

fuck a karate kid remake

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 11, 2010 11:30 PM EDT reply actions  

those ads are a great display of corporate synergy gone horribly awry

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

lol thats awesome ge!

by dandresden on May 11, 2010 11:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

takin' you

to wintown, population green

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

by sauce1977 on May 12, 2010 12:10 AM EDT up reply actions  

wrecks!

and effects!

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 12, 2010 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

Don't cry, dry, your eye

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 12, 2010 12:30 AM EDT up reply actions  

wow that is awesome

totally trumps me using the same quote on Twitter linking to a pic of the score and their empty stadium, too.

Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
Twitter

by Packey on May 12, 2010 2:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

I’ll be happy when LBJ is gone fishing

Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !

by DetBalla on May 11, 2010 11:40 PM EDT reply actions  

So I still think Cleveland could win this series...

BUT, if the Cavs flame out and lose big again in Game 6, does that mean he leaves Cleveland? My sense is that he’s gonna stay around, but my sense has also been that they’re the favorites to win it all.

Interesting.

by brgulker on May 12, 2010 8:36 AM EDT reply actions  

MFMP

has beaten me to the punch in a fanpost.

by brgulker on May 12, 2010 8:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

I think I sprained my index finger...

clicking “rec” on so many comments in this thread. Well done, everyone.

by Birdman84 on May 12, 2010 9:34 AM EDT reply actions  

it was an orgy of pistons fans wallowing in the misery of lebron james last night. im pround of you all.

*sheds a single tear

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 12:36 PM EDT reply actions  

I missed an orgy?

This is the only time in my life I will be angry for watching Justified instead of doing other stuff.

by Biz Markie Moon on May 12, 2010 12:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

Some might say it was a night of…………magic?

by garrettelliott on May 12, 2010 1:55 PM EDT reply actions  

He stands around 6-9 without shoes, has a huge wingspan,

sounds like a dumars kinda guy

by dandresden on May 12, 2010 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Maybe this guy can slam it, hard and rough?

by garrettelliott on May 12, 2010 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Whatever he does with the rock

I just hope he rides side saddle…IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

you have earned a rec

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 12, 2010 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Wait...this guy plays barefoot?

THATS CRAZY.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Well and personally

I’d rather first peruse the big men before I pursue them….just sayin’

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 6:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

the danger in pursuing big men

is if they turn around and kick your ass for pursuing them.

just EPINION

by real Rob G on May 12, 2010 10:12 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that.

by Birdman84 on May 12, 2010 9:49 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’m glad I’m not the only one whom thought that.

Sheesh, get it right. ;)

by brgulker on May 13, 2010 8:44 AM EDT up reply actions  

I can’t tell if you’re joking, or politely correcting him, but in that case who (and not whom) would be correct. Who is always used as the subject (thus who thought that would be the correct independent clause). Whom is to be used in either the dative or accusative cases. For example, to/for whom and whom did Leonidas kill?

by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 9:04 AM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Yeah, so I was totally kidding. But that is a very thorough description.

by brgulker on May 13, 2010 12:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

cool bro, just thought I’d give people the full story

by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 5:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

Thanks for that.

honest.

Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?

by Kriz on May 13, 2010 7:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

It's a shame the "- end of grammar rant -" is there

Because ending it with your sig would’ve been UNFATHOMABLY AMAZING. Look, sometimes you need to look someone in the eye and tell them you’re, “not gonna sugarcoat.”

"Ford! You're turning into a Penguin! Stop it!"
-Arthur Dent

by Thom_not_Tom on May 15, 2010 1:58 AM EDT up reply actions  

Marcin Gortat

Seemed like a post entitled “Big Men: Who Should We Purse?” on DBB ought to have that name in it.

by Shinons on May 12, 2010 8:18 PM EDT reply actions  

agreed.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 8:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

Although...

I don’t see a feasible trade scenario here. Orlando would demand to get a big back plus they’d probably want to do so in a manner that reduces their salary spend since they’re significantly over the cap right now.

We don’t really have anyone on our roster to give them that. Based on that assumption, the only package that works is Maxiell + Wallace + Summers for Gortat and I wouldn’t be willing to give that up. We’d have to introduce a 3rd team into the trade mix and if a big is ultimately heading to Orlando, then things get complicated quickly.

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 12, 2010 8:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

Detroit

We should have offered Kwame and a future pick for Gortat. He’s already stated he’s unhappy having such a small backup roll and would have preferred that Orlando didn’t match Dallas’ offer. Orlando also is way over the luxury tax line thanks to Vince and Lewis (neither of whom are even close to what they’re being paid), they could have chosen to either take the financial relief or extend kwame on a smaller deal than Gortat’s (it’s not like playing backup to Howard is all that difficult).

I really like Pietrus, he’s a great complimentary player for Orlando in every respect. The problem is he just would make our guard problems even worse. I wouldn’t trade my best expiring contract just to have more of a logjam, let alone swap first rounders (you could potentially get a better player than Gortat with that 7th pick anyways).

by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 9:08 AM EDT up reply actions  

Fair points

I just figure if the front office doesn’t love any of the options in the draft – and they’re all certainly flawed – Gortat would certainly be a lot safer. And that seems pretty reasonable – outside of Favors and Cousins, I don’t see any of these guys who’s upside is dramatically higher than where Gortat’s at right now. Not to mention the perks of getting a guy just entering his prime rather than waiting/hoping for a 19 year old to develop.

For Pietrus, I thought of him exclusively at SF. He’s in the last year of his deal and would give us a veteran at the position to take some of the pressure off the youngsters, but one who wouldn’t need as many minutes as Tay – a guy who’d open up the rotation a bit and give Daye a chance to earn a bigger role.

by Shinons on May 13, 2010 9:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

A big in his prime is a lot more valuable to a team near contending than one building up from scratch. I think it would actually be better to develop one, so that he develops alongside of all the other young guys. That way when team finally is ready, they’ll all be in their prime, instead of some of the core being in their 30s.

As for Pietrus, as far as I can discern he’s always played SG for Orlando. He’s 6’6", got a nice stroke and is a good defender against 2 guards. He’d be giving up some of those advantages if you forced him into the 3 spot, as he’d be going up against bigger players and would be expected to do more slashing instead of spot up shooting.

by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 9:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

I don't agree

It’s not like we’re building like the Thunder with very young core guys. If we’re going to compete with this group, we’d be better off trying to make it happen sooner rather than later. And in any case, if instant gratification costs about the same as waiting for the future and the potential upside of the investment isn’t that much higher, what’s the point?

And according to anything I can find, Pietrus plays SF considerably more than guard – he’s listed as starting 24 games at SF, only 1 at SG, and 82games.com puts him as playing 3% of Olrando’s SG time compared to 38% at SF.

by Shinons on May 13, 2010 10:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

Pietrus starts with Carter, so I imagine Carter is more of the shooting guard in that lineup.

by Birdman84 on May 13, 2010 4:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

overlooked that aspect

I just know that his game is totally that of a SG, and he quite often plays SG for the second unit (Reddick has been handling the ball quite a bit of late).

by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 5:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

As an aside, I’ve been impressed with how much Reddick has improved since he got into the league. He’s become a much better passer, defender, and ball handler.

by Birdman84 on May 13, 2010 9:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

agreed

I can’t stand how deuchy he looks, but he has definitely improved as an all around player.

by bearded thundar on May 14, 2010 9:26 AM EDT up reply actions  

I love Gortat. ... but

Orlando’s not under any pressure to move him. Their owner okay’d keeping him around and paying the luxury tax. Yes, he wants a bigger role, but right now, they have a chance to win a chip and an owner willing to pay to do it. They’ll move him when they’re ready and when they get a more competitive offer than anything we can.

by brgulker on May 13, 2010 12:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

I still don’t get the Gortat love, besides the fact that he has an awesome nickname.

by garrettelliott on May 12, 2010 9:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wait, isn't a cool nickname enough?

Sure, talent is nice and all, but nothing beats a sweet nickname.

by bugman222 on May 12, 2010 9:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

A very mobile (and thus far durable) 7 footer who’s in the prime of his career that finishes well around the basket, blocks shots, and rebounds. What’s not to love?

by brgulker on May 13, 2010 8:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, he’s really big and surprisingly fast but he just doesn’t actually do much on the court. He never has any impact on the game except that one time when he blocked LeBron and everyone was like, “GORTAT IS AWESOME!!!” In the first playoff round against Charlotte he had all the chance in the world to shine because of Dwight’s foul troubles, but he just didn’t. I’m not saying he can’t be a decent starter, but I just don’t think he’s shown us that much yet.

by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well, you gotta consider who’s he’s playing behind and who he’s playing for. The Magic barely even give the ball to Dwight Howard, opting instead to hoist three pointers like it’s a video game. It’s not surprising 1) that he doesn’t play much and 2) that he gets hardly any touches given the system he plays in.

by brgulker on May 13, 2010 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

Good point about jacking the threes. Dwight still gets his boards and blocks, though (and fouls).

by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 8:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

He built a 225 MPH BMW M5 which he streetraces in Florida and says he'll take the pepsi challenge with anybody in the league.

I love it.

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 13, 2010 1:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wendy's

is gangsta.

"Gee'drah write a rhyme in the time he hollow out a flask - crack a Guinness stout with his teeth one time, swallowed the glass"

by Mike Payne on May 13, 2010 4:49 PM EDT up reply actions  

hahhaa

I thought the same shit

"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"

by Skylar on May 13, 2010 11:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

I like that idea more

But Orlando already has Vince wasting their time at SG, they would have no need for Hamilton (though I’m sure they would have thought about it before they traded for Carter, he’s torched them consistently in the playoffs).

by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 9:10 AM EDT up reply actions  

Vince is expiring this year though, isn't he?

I don’t see Rip fitting in well in Orlando. Not enough of a three point shooter.

by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

no

http://hoopshype.com/salaries/orlando.htm
he’s under contract for at least next year, with a team option after that (though I doubt their dumb enough to pick it up, even if they win a title I see them declining it and giving him a much smaller offer)

That’s why the Nets essentially gave him away for free. And to be honest, I think that Lee was a better player for their system because he was a better 3 point shooter and a better defender and not to mention had much more financial flexibility (then again judging by Lewis’ deal, money is no object)

by bearded thundar on May 13, 2010 6:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

Draft Lottery

We can only possibly end up with picks 1-3 or 7-10. Look it up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nba_draft_lottery#Process

So, no pick 4 or 5.

by Arrow1 on May 13, 2010 6:51 AM EDT reply actions  

WIKIPWNED!

Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.

by The Boourns on May 13, 2010 12:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah. No shit

Practice safe sex . Go fuck yourself !

by DetBalla on May 14, 2010 4:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

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