Reasons To Get Drunk and Surly Tonight
by Kevin Sawyer on May 13, 2010 6:09 PM EDT
in Detroit Pistons Previews
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PrintIn an unexpected twist to the most boring playoffs in history, the Boston Celtics are in an excellent position to send the Cavaliers packing tonight. News reports suggest they are playing with "game seven urgency".
The Cavs, on the other hand, are planning to play with game three urgency. That's still fairly urgent, but the urgency disparity might give Boston the edge.
Contrast these urgency levels with the Hawks, who maintained a healthy "pick up game at fat camp" urgency level. Meanwhile, the Orlando Magic are playing with an "Jared Leto and Marlon Wayans in Requiem for a Dream" level of urgency, that could carry them over the top.
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Yeah, Dwight Howard shot 84% for the series against the Atlanta Hawks.
Kareem Abdul Jabbar had some strong words about the kids these days. He wants the minimum age raised to 21. Here's a quote.
They get precocious kids from high school who think they're rock stars -- 'Where's my $30 million?' " said Abdul-Jabbar, who was in Omaha to speak at the B'nai B'rith sports banquet. "The attitudes have changed, and the game has suffered because of that, and it has certainly hurt the college game.
Just for once, can we get through the B'Nai B'rith sports banquet without controversy? The Jewish athletes of Ohama deserve better, dammit.
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The remaining playoff teams presently feature Vince Carter, Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Rasheed Wallace, Michael Finley, Shaquille O'Neal, Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Steve Nash and Grant Hill.
Ten players from the 2000 NBA all-star game participated in this year's playoffs. If the league established a minimum age of 29, it would not dramatically affect the outcome of this year's playoffs.
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I have been informed that the Phoenix Suns will be approaching game one of the Western Conference championship with an "Eisenhower circa 1955" sense of urgency. The Lakers, on the other hand, will be playing with a "we have to get this car back to Enterprise before we get charged for another day, and we can't remember whether they still have a two hour grace period, but we think they probably do" level of urgency.
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I think Kareem has a point about the arrogance of young people. I went to the liquor store to get my morning 40 of Mickey's, and the clerk was talking about getting "Rondo money". I mean, good and friendly service, but...
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If you see a nun walking down the street, you should give her a big hug. She can't very well refuse. Pope'll get mad at her.
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My hope
Boston beats the Cavs and the summer of 20LBJ begins a little earlier than expected. Then in the next round Orlando lays a serious whooping on the little green men and they are dismantled this off season.
OT: Amir has been busy in Toronto apparently. A friend of mine works at an agency that he recently paid a visit to. See link below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwnpvD871Xw&feature=player_embedded
The next Chris Bosh
VOTE FOR ME CHRIS BOSH!
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
The Cavs supporting cast
Can’t do much if LeBron has an off night. Take a team like the Bulls and give them LeBron and you have a better team. I’ll take Noah and Rose over Williams and Jamison, the Cavs 2 best players behind James. Shaq doesn’t count, too old and weathered and Andy V is a good role player thats it. Any franchise that relies soley on one player isn’t that much of a franchise. The Lakers rely on Kobe, but he can have a bad game and they can still beat a good team in the playoffs.
Franchise players are great to have, but when you lack a good supporting cast you cannot win a title. I know its the obvious statement of the year, but I am sick and tired of hearing people say the Cavs have a good all round team(aka a good supporting cast to go along with LeBron).
Go Dwight and Vince who play on a good all round team. Put VC on a good team and look what happens, he plays well and ain’t no bitch. Screw any whiny Raptor fan that doesn’t like it!
Favre's ankle, Starcaps BS and hopefully a busy Piston offseason, oh my. Go Netherlands/Holland/Dutch Soccer(no its not Football)!
he stole the egg mcmuffin plans from mcdonalds world headquarters
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I get the feeling
that Lebron’s faking it all, trying to stretch it all out to make it some epic comeback.
But he’s not that big of an attention whore…
man lebron gets to talk with the refs so long without getting a tech jeez sheed would get a tech just for walking up to the ref
by don'tworryaboutit on May 13, 2010 8:25 PM EDT reply actions
I loved when he hung the crimson mask on Big Z a couple years back
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I can't understand why Mike Brown...
doesn’t play this lineup:
Delonte West (on Rondo)
Parker (on Allen)
LeGone (on Pierce)
Varejao (on Garnett)
Shaq (on Perkins)
Mo Williams couldn’t guard his shadow. He and Jamison are killing this team on defense.
he balls.
maybe belongs in top PG discussions, no?
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I used to defend Billups over Rondo all the time, naturally
But I don’t remember Billups ever being this creative. I may have just committed blasphemy, but Rondo’s skyrocketed in my book – and I really didn’t like him his first couple years
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watching Rondo play...
makes me think Stuckey needs to learn the sideline scoop…rondo acts like he’s going away from the basket and then scoops underneath with English to get the proper tap off the glass.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
he’s got tons of crazy moves like that. i love when he fakes the pass while palming the ball, fakes the defender out, pivots and gets an easy bunny. its so fuckin crafty. its a nash kinda move.
Yeah, he definitely has some weird Nash-type moves. And they look even cooler because of his crazy long arms.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 9:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Helps when you're playing the game of basketball.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Odds of Cavs losing decrease significantly, but...
part of me, PART of me, wants them to win tonight because
1) I don’t want to have to see Boston fans happy
2) I’d much rather see Cleveland lose in front of their fans
3) Game 7’s can be fun…
3) We don’t have to wait until next week for basketball (and that’s kind of the big one for me)
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those are all valid points packey, but my tear cup needs filling and if the cavs win tonight it will fill with my tears.
Yeah, I’m ready for LeBron to go fishin’. I think I’ve been ready pretty much all season.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 9:15 PM EDT up reply actions
fair enough
I forgot to consider the tear cup. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to fill that cup with LBJ’s tears tonight, too.
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I say FINISH HIM!
Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?
by Kriz on May 13, 2010 9:18 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Nice cap! It looked like Allen wasn’t going to get high enough to finish the dunk because he kept cocking it back.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 9:30 PM EDT up reply actions
I have not heard very nice things about it.
And I appreciate being able to still sleep at night somewhat.
Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?
I saw the poster and was weirded out. So naturally I went and read the wikipedia summary and it sounds pretty gross.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 9:50 PM EDT up reply actions
every bitch has his night
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
he is a great player. FOR ME TO POOP ON!
by dandresden on May 13, 2010 9:53 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
To have the best player in the league
Cleveland has no clue on how to set up a fun to watch, stable team around him.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 9:52 PM EDT reply actions
Damn, Shaq went down harder than Superfly Snuka
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
It's the little moments that make me love basketball
Am I the only one who saw that insane move rondo did with the ball? Top 5 player for me.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 9:53 PM EDT reply actions
and by top five I mean
favorite players. Not best in the league, but Rondo is undoubtedly a top 5 point guard.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 9:55 PM EDT up reply actions
I used to hate him, weirdly enough.
I was all like, “He’s overrated and has no jump shot.” But then I was all like, “Damn, dude.”
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 9:57 PM EDT up reply actions
That's the series that changed my mind on a lot of players
I like Rose a lot and now I begrudgingly respect Joakim Noah. He’s a mighty warrior.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:00 PM EDT up reply actions
+1 mighty warrior
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Joakim Noah sleeps at night
to a loop of the sample from Liquid Swords.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Nah, I'm talking about the one with the little kid talking
If you want to freak out your friends, quote that whole thing when you all are driving around.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:09 PM EDT up reply actions
(the shogun's decapitator)
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
That whole album is the definition of dope.
Only album that has ever made me want to shoot somebody. Plus, the GZA on that album might give my all time favorite rap performance. He murders EVERYTHING.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:11 PM EDT up reply actions
HE WAS THE GREATEST SOM-UR-AI in the EMPIRE
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
People said his brain was infected by deb-ills.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:12 PM EDT up reply actions
There's a sick track
that samples that exact part of the OG sample too, I can’t remember the name. It’s on the hook.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
If you figure out the name of it, let me know.
I’m not a rap expert and I’ve got a lot to learn in that genre, along with soul and jazz.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:16 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm almost positive it's Cage.
Will get back to you.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I went to whosampled.com
and saw all the songs that sampled it, and the song was “Agent Orange” by Cage, I think. And that was damn nasty.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Fuck yeah.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
And then I went to wikipedia to read more about the guy
I’m definitely intrigued.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions
I can send you some choice cage.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Via torrent?
How would that work, exactly? I’m completely stupid when it comes to music trading online.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:51 PM EDT up reply actions
I will upload it and zip it up
then give you a DL link.
I don’t torrent, this is faster and simpler.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Alright alright alright
I checked out that song “Ballad of Worms”. Two things:
a) Damn that’s some creepy shit.
b) I totally missed the fact that was a sample of Built to Spill’s “I Would Hurt A Fly”.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 15, 2010 2:46 AM EDT up reply actions
You gotta love some weirdo rapper
who samples Built to Spill.
He brought in Yo La Tengo for a song of his in 2006 too. He’s creative. Sometimes I detest his lyrics but his songs are generally pretty interesting.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
That Perkins seems like a nice boy.
Which is unfortunate, because I would have laid Shaq out for doing that ridiculous dunk in front of me and gloating like a bitch.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 9:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Perk vs. Shaq : Bullyfight
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Lebron just grabbed that shit hard
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
not as delicious as lebrontears
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I hate Shaq.
Shaq is like Wooderson from Dazed and Confused.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 9:58 PM EDT reply actions
That's a good point.
So he’s more like the lame ass mechanic from Adventureland that says he played with Lou Reed.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:09 PM EDT up reply actions
What happened to Antawn Jamison? I thought he was actually pretty good? He’s pretty much invisible except when he travels and misses a lot of shots, it seems. He must have had some pretty crappy team mates to put up the numbers he did in Washington.
I think it's because now he's showing he can't play D.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 9:59 PM EDT up reply actions
But wasn’t he an effective offensive player in Washington? That doesn’t seem to be the case here.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:00 PM EDT up reply actions
I think so.
Where’s an advanced stats dude?
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, I just watch the games and never actually look at stats. sad trombone :(
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:01 PM EDT up reply actions
but varejao cries like one.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
he’s bleeding, quick cavs trainers grab a tampon.
by dandresden on May 13, 2010 10:03 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Smoke faster, Daniel Dresden
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Hmm.. I
Do not like Cavaliers, But I do not like Celtics either. It is good that one will lose, but one has to win. So I hope they both go to game 7, get tired and lose next round.
by Taiwanese Tora on May 13, 2010 10:02 PM EDT reply actions
I think the Magic are gonna kill whoever they play
That team’s freaking scary.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Dwight is a beast.
I think about the only team that’s going to contain him is going to be LA if they really try.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Fuck a sword.....
…fear the dagger, Cleveland
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Well, LeBron does seem to be making more of an effort to crash the boards. That’s smart; he can contribute if his shot isn’t falling (and it isn’t).
If I had any friends who cared about the NBA
I’d totally have a fake number 6 Knicks jersey to send them, assuming they were Cavs fans.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:06 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Sheed's draining threes like
jobs are draining out of cleveland
/below the belt’d
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
bad night to acquire all them turnovers
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Cleveland got hit with the Joker gun.
(that one that took out the batwing)
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
How DID that gun take out the Batwing, anyways? I mean, it’s the BATWING!
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Good question.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Posting LeBron up is smart. He’s such a gifted passer, and he’s so much bigger than everyone it’s almost impossible to deny passing lanes when doubling.
denies that motherfucker a title too
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
LeBron will probably never be as polished offensively as Kobe. James certainly hasn’t put in as much time on his post game. Also, I think Bryant has a little better balance, being smaller.
I think Kobe has better co-ordination and body control, too. He’s just more fluid when he moves, whereas LeBron is herky jerky and all power.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:17 PM EDT up reply actions
You seriously like Lebron?
I think he’s a douche. I’d hang out with Kobe before I’d hang out with Lebron.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah.
More mature, too. And he like comics.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions
I totally forgot about that.
Wasn’t Brook Lopez writing a novel or something crazy like that?
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:30 PM EDT up reply actions
I think I’d rather have a conversation with Kobe; he seems pretty smart.
I’d probably rather hang out with LeBron, though. He seems more fun.
He'd probably make you carry his things though.
Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?
by Kriz on May 13, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
This is what it would be like to hang out with Kobe...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0SUBvws25k
But he’s probably pretty cool to the few people he lets into his inner sanctum.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:35 PM EDT up reply actions
Secret Agent Sheed is only a Celt for REVENGE.
Somebody needs to put up the cash for a Joakim Noah/Sheed buddy samurai movie.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:13 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I got lint, a a spud webb skybox card, and 3 dollars
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
So it might show on PBS.
Still, it would be worth it. The kid that played Namond Brice on the Wire plays Joakim Noah. Sheed can be played by Denzel Washington.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:18 PM EDT up reply actions
HOLY SHIT.
That’s Sheed. And David Stern is the villain.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Man, who is this guy wearing LeBron’s jersey? Why didn’t he demand the ball with 5 seconds left? Instead he let Anthony Parker bring it up and get stripped? His play is…..weird.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:17 PM EDT reply actions
What are the ramifications if Lebron loses?
Does he go mad and get obsessed with winning a trophy?
If that’s the case, he won’t stay in Cleveland. He’ll be in Chicago, which is, as I’m sure we all agree, fucking frightening.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:21 PM EDT reply actions
I think Brooklyn
Especially if they get the number one pick
by Quick Darshan on May 13, 2010 10:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Potentially, Jersey could have Harris-Turner-LeBron-Free Agent-Lopez, with Lee, Terrence Williams, and Yi off the bench.
And CDR, who put up some good numbers this season around all of his injuries.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:28 PM EDT up reply actions
Lebron don't play with chinamen
Even if it is not the preferred nomenclature dude.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 13, 2010 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Jersey sorta scares me
but I think it would be a year or two before they’d be dominant.
I think he’d go to Jersey before Chicago. Especially because there’s no alpha dog there.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Didn't someone just buy the team today?
by Quick Darshan on May 13, 2010 10:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, the billionaire Russian guy. LeBron could decide the coach and GM if he wanted. I suppose that’s true of the Clippers, too.
I wouldn't mind seing him be a Clipper.
If they got the right coach, that would be a fun team to watch.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Up until he blows out both knees
Actually, that might be fun to watch.
I think jersey already has a nice young couple of piece which paired with the number one puck and the connections
Would make it a really smart place to go for Lebron.
Where in the world is Cheikh Samb?
Not to mention their crazy billionaire Russian owner.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions
A Facebook conversation with a friend in Cleveland:
Her: C’mon, Cavs!
Me: Think LeBron is going to stay or go?
Her: why would he go? he’s a hometown hero.
Me: Bajillions and bajillions of dollars?
Her: but no other team can pay him as much as the cavs and he already makes bajillions from endorsements!
Me: He’s playing like he doesn’t want to be in Cleveland…..
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:22 PM EDT reply actions
Well, he'll never be richer or more famous than he is now...
But, he’s got a better change to win with someone like Bosh on his team.
by Quick Darshan on May 13, 2010 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions
fuck the dagger that was a batt'leth
by dandresden on May 13, 2010 10:32 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
My dad has a bat’leth. He definitely ripped a pair of pants playing with it.
by Birdman84 on May 13, 2010 10:35 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Well...
A couple of weeks ago I invited some guys over for a Star Trek marathon, AKA “The Bat’leth Bash.”
We served blood wine (cranberry juice) and Romulan ale (blue Kool-aid). It was awesome. Also had gummy worms for gagh.
Wish I was there
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I liked seeing Lebron crab dribble that shit off his ankle
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Great game by the Knicks tonight
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by Packey on May 13, 2010 10:38 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
lebron you’re playing like betty white out there!
by dandresden on May 13, 2010 10:38 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
for ol' times sake
Kwame get away from that
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Are you serious?
Is this really happening? Is this real life? Rasheed still has some gas in the tank? I’m legitimately enjoying a Celtics performance like this? I’m seriously confused.
I may not have watched a lot of basketball this year or been around much for a variety of reasons not the least of which was taking a full course load while working full time, but this game has been legitimately enjoyable. Should I hate myself for feeling this way?
by Other Matt on May 13, 2010 10:39 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
missed you around here matty
and I think a lot of us are having these really confusing feelings
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Thanks, I missed hanging out here. I should hopefully have a lot more time to watch basketball next season. These last few months have been crazy.
Welcome back, Other Matt! Hopefully school ended better than our season.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah
I definitely made the right choice.
Not that I wouldn’t have rather been a basketball addicted degenerate like I normally am, to be clear.
My wife is pregnant and she’s been going to bed at 9 pm every night, so I’ve been pretty much gorging on playoff basketball. It’s been sweet.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Word to Garrett jr.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Thanks guys! This will be My Wife Jr, though, because this one is a girl.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions
I get confused as to who I'm supposed to root for during this game
I’m being dead serious. I sit here and I’m like, “Dammit, the Celtics have the ball.” and then I see an afro, and I’m like, “Wait, that’s good that they have the ball.”
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey Lebron,
Even Brett Favre thinks you’re choking…
Correction
Nick Anderson thinks this is an epic choke job.
LeBron hasn't been "greatest ever"
but his teammates reallllllly suck.
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Because Joakim Noah is a mighty warrior.
And Anderson Varejo is not a mighty warrior.
He is, however, a mighty bitch-ass.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:44 PM EDT up reply actions
rondo w/the circus shot
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Mark Jackson calling out the Cavs’ dancing!
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:43 PM EDT reply actions
"computer blue"
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Bebound the baditball!
BEBOUND THE BADITBALL!
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:44 PM EDT up reply actions
Actually, could somebody tell me the story behind the bebound meme?
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions
when you play for Mushmouth Curry, you go for bebounds
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 13, 2010 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions
I wish they’d give us Mike Brown’s mic feed so we could hear him yelling, “Give it to LeBron! DO SOMETHING, LEBRON!!! DO SOMETHING!!!”
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions
lol NEW YORK KNICKS NEW YORK KNICKS NEW YORK KNICKS
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
I bet there's only two commenters
And one of them is pushing a shopping cart.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions
If Lebron leaves, they could still get a pretty nice FA though, couldn't they?
Not enough to make them good, but still.
Then again, I think the franchise owners over there are really, really incompetent.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Anybody think that
Dan Gilbert regrets buying the Cavs now? The Pistons are available and he’s not going to have The Global Icon any longer.
New York Knicks! New York Knicks!
Bill Simmons is a diabolical genius and I cannot believe I’m saying that.
yeah what did he do? twitter feed live or something form the game?
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 13, 2010 10:48 PM EDT up reply actions
I just remember I'm rooting for Bill Simmons' team...
fuck
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Been real aware of it.
Still, fuck lebron
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
LeBron is shocked that he didn’t get that call, and for good reason. When you’ve been getting it all season, why be inconsistent now?
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:48 PM EDT reply actions
CELTICS EAT CLOCK
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Meet you there in 30 minutes?
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Is everybody going over there to fuck with the fans?
Let me get some whiskey and make a fake account and I’m game.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't troll.
Just lurk
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
They've just quit.
In plain view on national TV. This is delightful!
Why would LeBron WANT to stay with those losers?
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:54 PM EDT reply actions
Ohhhhh they taste so sweeeeeet.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 13, 2010 10:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Lebron 1 turnover away from a Quadruple double
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
I bet Lebron just told Garnett whatever Daniel Plainview told the preacher kid in "There Will Be Blood" during the church scene.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 10:54 PM EDT reply actions
Further proof that "There Will Be Blood" is a legit competitor for the best movie of the last ten years.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Great movie
His descent in to evil is haunting to watch.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Go to Europe, LeBron
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by Packey on May 13, 2010 10:55 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Given the choice
Between Vince Carter and the Celtics, I begrudgingly choose Vinsanity.
Ahhhh, I remember what it felt like to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals…….
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 10:57 PM EDT reply actions
Shit, missed the game thread
Unto the Cavs and King Baby I would like to say, “Ha ha ha, ha-ha-ha.”
Cleveland you may go back to being the the sports equivalent of Germany. You ain’t won shit in about 60 years.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
JVG brings up the suffering of the Cavs' families.
Think of the children (of millionaires)! Won’t somebody please think of the children?
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
We hate us some Vince Carter, sho’nuff.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Seriously
How much of an asshole do you have to be to piss off Canada? You guys are pretty laid back up there.
Haha, yeah. I think we should give it a rest but everyone else disagrees with me at our Canadian meetings.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Definitely.
Dude fucked over my fantasy team TWO YEARS IN A ROW.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:15 PM EDT up reply actions
It's time Canada
You’ve been polite for too long. Go fuck somebody up. May I suggest Iran?
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
America will help
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
separate thread strictly for hypothetical quotes LeBron whispered to every Celtics players?
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Definitely.
I need a place to randomly dump movie quotes.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:08 PM EDT up reply actions
on the way!
trying to decide if it should be front page or in the FanShots/FanPosts, though…
Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
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Why?
I hope he coaches the Caves until the end of time.
by Other Matt on May 13, 2010 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Maybe Mike Brown will go into breakup mode
and Michael Curry can go over and talk him into taking a vacation to New York, where he can run into Lebron and Donnie Walsh.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions
So who's excited for Tuesday?
NBA Draft Lottery, Alan Wake, and possibly the greatest game ever Red Dead Redemption…already informed the girlfriend that that day is a man’s day so don’t expect me to do anything.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Is the hype for Red Dead Redemption that huge?
I’m not a gamer, but I’m a sucker for westerns.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:06 PM EDT up reply actions
I read a leaked print magazine review
that gave it a 9.75/10 and said that it was easily one of the best games of the year.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 13, 2010 11:09 PM EDT up reply actions
I wanna play it bad.
I watched “The Outlaw Josey Wales” last night.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
You know
I really want to like that movie because everybody talks about how badass it is, but I can’t make it through his stupid sidekick. Does that dude get killed?
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:31 PM EDT up reply actions
I can't spoil the ending.
But that awesome native american chick he saves from the rapists who speaks no english but talks with her guns… is pretty badass
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I guess with him being a FA and the season being over
He’s technically not a Cav until he re-signs…right?
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on May 13, 2010 11:06 PM EDT up reply actions
LeBron
You just had the least effective 27-19-10 in NBA playoffs history! What are you going to do now?
“I’m getting the fuck out of Ohio so I can choke for somebody else!”
I love it! Yeah, that’s it… Choke good for Daddy, choke good for Daddy…
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Positive spin
He almost had a quadruple double.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Mike Brown at the podium
This REALLY ought to be good.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
I like how he’s wearing a Cavs sweatsuit and t-shirt. Like he thought, “I better grab this free stuff before I get fired.”
by Other Matt on May 13, 2010 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
He better not turn around.
Lest we see the zipper down his back and the silhouette of Lebron.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Sheed and Rondo: Shaggy and Scooby.
Big Baby Davis is Velma.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:15 PM EDT up reply actions
mike brown's post game
felt a lot like doug collins, circa 1990.
if that holds up, at least mr. gumdrop has a nice broadcasting career ahead of him.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Yeah, definitely.
I think they could pull off some trades though, but they’d be a deep lottery team for years. YEARS.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:17 PM EDT up reply actions
It would be a potential franchise-killing loss
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Maybe they could move to Pittsburgh.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Vancouver
Just because they spat out the last crappy NBA team we tried to dump on them doesn’t mean they will do it again.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
Watched that whole game
was a first for me this entire playoffs, actually watching this trash
It seemed like the refs did everything in their mortal power to keep the Cavs in the game when it was clear from the opening tip that Boston was angling for an easy 20 point lead. They even managed to get it to 78-74 late, but at every turn the Cavs just handed the game right back. I can’t believe Cleveland did the limbo with the bar that low!
And LeBron’s triple double was extremely unimpressive. 9 turnovers, it almost was a quad double …
I haven’t read the rest of this thread yet, but you all saw LeBron strip naked before he got to the lockers, right? That image is gonna be played every damn day at least 30 times a day until that guy makes his decision.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Jamal Mashburn's stunning analysis
You caught where Jamal said LeBron was a loyal guy, right? That’s when I tuned out. Jamal Mashburn also previously tried to lend his experience to explain what LeBron was going through. Because the whole world hung on Jamal’s contract decision, I mean that made total sense.
Avery Johnson couldn’t form complete sentences or pronounce anything right, either. Y’all went nuts on Coach Bebounds, but where’s the hate for that dingbat?
ESPN NBA, where basketball broadcasting goes to die.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
People referring to PGs as quarterbacks annoys me for some reason.
And Avery Johnson did that.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Mark Jackson was crushed, too.
I still don’t understand that one. He looked like his dog died. He’s a NY boy, you’d think he’d be clapping and dancing.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
I think he’s just disappointed as a fan of basketball and as a fan of LeBron James. He probably thought LeBron would pull a rabbit out of his hat and will his team to victory but it just didn’t happen, and he said after the game he was pretty shocked.
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 11:36 PM EDT up reply actions
that elbow injury isn't a joke
they can’t magically repair that shit unless it’s paul pierce faking another injury, and the key is faking it
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
My geeky, pop culture obsessed mind
wants to relate the Lebron FA story to a fairy tale.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:25 PM EDT up reply actions
So much truth, Stu, so much truth.
Rondo is a phenom. It’s a damn shame to watch a guy that awesome play with a bunch of dickheads.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:27 PM EDT reply actions
I got my beer and I'm waiting for Lebron to come sit at the podium wearing a Knicks jersey
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
LeBron's Sweet Nothings
Go and do your worst — here
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No way.
NY. Best believe.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
If he couldn’t get it done with the knuckleheads on the Cavs, why would he be able to get it done with the uber-knuckleheads on the Knicks?
by garrettelliott on May 13, 2010 11:37 PM EDT up reply actions
It's not about knuckleheads, man
It’s not even about titles. It’s about the market.. and he’s obsessed w/New York
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Lebron needs to quit dicking around with this billionaire thing.
Nobody cares if he’s rich if he didn’t tear shit up as a basketball player. That’s the real reason I hate Lebron: he seems to care about basketball only as an ends to means, but when Tracy McGrady has genuine bad luck, the media says he has no heart.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:40 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
True, but Baron Davis doesn't seem like that big of an asshole, imo.
He does funny stuff like the beard infomercial and his explanation for growing a beard during the NBA season is priceless. I’d chill with Baron Davis.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:00 AM EDT up reply actions
and rides tandem bike w/Steve Nash
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
correct, but baron uses the NBA as the base to expand all of his other ventures. he doesnt really care about winning.
I can see that.
But with Lebron, who has the potential to be the best player of all time, when he comes out and says, “My goal is to be the first billionaire athlete, and a global icon,” it almost refutes his potential, because he’s not saying, “I want to win more championships than Jordan.” Whereas, it’s not as bad for a guy like Baron to do it, because Baron’s a really good player. It’d be nice if he was maniacal and just wanted to win, but at least with Baron, he doesn’t pull bitch moves like hitting at his leaving of a franchise. Of course, I don’t know what went down with New Orleans when he was there, so this could be totally wrong.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:08 AM EDT up reply actions
just for the record, in his press conference just now, he said the "mindset" for this summer is
“First of all, I wanna win.”
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EVERYBODY PANIC!
It’s on now! He wants to win! We’re all gonna die!
yeah, should go without saying...
but it is LeBron
Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
Twitter
I’m actually slightly terrified of the possibility of him being in Chicago. That would make me very unhappy. I can’t imagine him following in Jordan’s footsteps though. I think its even money whether he stays in Cleveland or goes to the Knicks. I think he signs a 2 or 3 year mini-max, let’s the Nets to Brooklyn thing play out and then makes his move. That makes the most sense to me. Although this collapse came out of left field and the situation seems pretty much like the situation in Cleveland can’t be salvaged. If I were Dan Gilbert, I’d be doing everything I could to get Larry Brown.
if i was dan gilbert
i’d be trying to sell the cavs so i could snap up the pistons.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
rec'd
whatever the cavs fans say gilbert busted his ass and checkbook trying to win a chip. shame on that team. i would love him as an owner.
I actually had no clue he was a good owner
Ownership is one of those things you don’t notice until it becomes a distraction.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions
Best Case Scenario
I’d cry tears of happiness if this happened. Gilbert has done everything he can to put a winner around LeBron in Cleveland and has clearly demonstrated that he’ll spend any amount of money to chase a title. I am concerned that he continues to employ Danny Ferry as his GM, but he’s would be a positive result for us.
that is why i dont understand cleveland fans saying bron didnt have enough help. i think every other fan of every other team thought that the cavs were going to the finals and had a formidable team if lebron would live up to the hype.
Gilbert can't help it the whole team is bitchmade juicebox scoundrels
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
the only thing that didn't make sense
was pairing matador jamison with snaquille o’meal and expecting interior defense to happen.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
They stunk it up tonight
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Yeah, really
I think Amare would have been a way better fit.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:31 AM EDT up reply actions
or keeping ben wallace
seeing sideshow bob get THAT much burn = saaad.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
good pt. sause
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Sideshow was probably their second best player this series.
And he definitely tried harder than anyone on his team. Not his fault he doesn’t have any talent.
The whole Shaq idea
Was terrible from the get-go. They got murdered defensively last year because they were helpless against Orlando’s high pick and roll. The Cavs had no answer. None. Ilgauskas couldn’t do diddly to defend it. So their solution was to go get somebody bigger and slower and just as bad defensively and proclaim their problem solved. It made no sense.
And here's what kills me
The media JIZZED themselves over that trade. If you know anything about basketball, then that trade was not a good idea.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:34 AM EDT up reply actions
snaqs agreement
i am pretty sure i laughed @ the move the minute it happened.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
i saw the cover of slam with shaq and bron on it and said “big mistake” in an arnold schwarzenegger voice.
whats the scripts for posting a picture?
ITS GONNA BE ANOTHER ICE AGE…
FREEEEEEEEEEZE!
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
how do i shot pic?
click on the “image” button (far right)
or
<.img src=“insertyoshithere.jpg”> (minus the period in the bracket)
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
my favorite arnold phrase
from last action hero when he blows up the ice cream truck and kills a dude with an ice cream cone he says " iced that guy, to cone a phrase"
COME ON DOO IT!
WHAT AWE YOO WAITING FOR? COME ON! KILL ME NOW!
It’s not a tumor
My father was a teacha, his father was a teacha, his father’s father was a teacha.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Best overall Ahnuld quote...
“I believe that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”
My Music: Some Sorta Giant
My Blog: Strike Three Mechanics
Good point.
Dude ain’t staying Cleveland though.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:15 AM EDT up reply actions
Plus the Mighty Warrior Joakim noah hates Jebron Lames
No Chicago
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
good point
I think Chicago would be ridiculous just for the sole reason that he’d be in MJ’s legendary shadow, but LBJ may be just arrogant enough to believe he can overcome that.
Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
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It would be cool as hell. I adore Chi-town.
I’m convinced he goes to the Nets or Knicks.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I'm praying Knicks, feeling Nets, and crying if he decides Bulls.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:46 PM EDT up reply actions
with chicago's front office
i can’t imagine lebron going to chicago.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
And then there's Mighty Warrior Joakim Noah, as skylar pointed out
Talk about some locker room drama. Joakim Noah would probably go ballistic.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:50 PM EDT up reply actions
yeah but they're enemies now...
I hate LeBron right now, but I don’t think I’d complain if he came and played for Detroit. I don’t think him and Joke-im having beef would be a deal-breaker.
Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
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He comes to Detroit, I'll probably call him Jesus and get his name tattooed on my lower back.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:53 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I’ll admit- I live in NYC, and it would be insane if Lebron goes to the Knicks, so insane that I kinda have to root for it to happen. The city would simultaneously implode/explode.
The market. The city. The capital of the world.
He will go to the Nets or Knicks.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
My 2 Cents
I think it’s really unlikely he goes to NJ next year. I still think they’re undecided on where they’re playing next year and I cannot imagine LBJ signing on to play his home games in the Izod Center. That place is a debacle. I think if he has genuine interest, he signs another mini-max deal with Cleveland and then exits stage left when the Nets go to Brooklyn.
Good .02
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
if you thought that the free agent hooplah was insane just imagine what it will be like now for the next month and a half. we are going to see more lebron than we would have if he had won.
Inspiration for a quote for the other thread....
“Beat me now, KG, and I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”
by garrettelliott on May 14, 2010 12:03 AM EDT up reply actions
The Cleveland Blue Ghostseses
/post-lebron’d
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
New yorkers forget about lebron instantly
Just like they forgot completely about Arod two months after he was signed until he won them a championship. In the meantime all they did was sh*t on him and his wife, and his trips to the park and whatever. New york has some great sports fans, but they’re outnumbered by bandwagon jumping idiots that don’t know anything about sports.
GMs are also stupid.
On the other hand, if Daryl Morey used his voodoo math, I might be freaking out.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 13, 2010 11:36 PM EDT up reply actions
"Loyalty is something that hurts you at times because you can't get youth back. I would have done it earlier."
KG on LeBron 2010
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Roscoe did his thing tonight though.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
they should let him eat potato chips all off season
scratch him for 82 games, let him play into shape during practice, honing his trick shots, then activate him for game 1 of the playoffs and get triple doubles, i mean that’s not a bad plan with p wallace
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
by sauce1977 on May 14, 2010 12:05 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
The magic girdle
girdle + AF1 Highs = Jebron Lames’ worst nightmare
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
wasnt mike brown only around because lebron wanted a soft lil patsy that would do what he said? thats the impression i always got.
Mike Brown got his job via Affirmative Action.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
by Skylar on May 14, 2010 12:08 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Mike Brown got S&M pictures of Danny Ferry.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
by Skylar on May 14, 2010 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Mike Brown is Lebron's real uncle.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
by Skylar on May 14, 2010 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Mike Brown killed a dude for Lebron.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions
and disposed of the body.... with his mouth.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:10 AM EDT up reply actions
that's cheaper than melting the body with lye.
mike brown is a capo for the lebron family
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Mike Brown also makes mean spaghetti.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:14 AM EDT up reply actions
the secret is a little sugar and wine in the sauce
and a pinch of lebron’s tears
(insert south park lebron image here)
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Mike Brown can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
He’s good at amusing Lebron in such a fashion.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:17 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Brown did Lebron's homework at SVSM HS
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Mike Brown has the keys to Jim Brown's pad.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:13 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Brown is a pinball wizard
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
You know the front cover to "Sticky Fingers" by the Stones?
That’s all Mike Brown, baby.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions
Lebron call Mike Brown "St. John" when they're alone.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Brown had all the ideas for Star Wars first
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Mike Brown has a time machine and spends all of his free time outdrinking Ernest Hemingway and beating his ass at quarters.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Brown shaves with a shotgun.
Whatchu talking bout?
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:36 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Brown got loaded 44s on the low where the cheese at
/whachooknoabouwdat
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Mike Brown don't know karate, but he do know ka-razy!
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:42 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Mike Brown once got busy in a Burger King Bathroom
/humpteed
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
by Skylar on May 14, 2010 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Mike Brown once stood in a rain puddle, and it got his Air Max shoes filthy.
A bitch laughed. Mike Brown’s first thought was, “I’m gonna kill that bitch.”
Said bitch died instantly.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:45 AM EDT up reply actions
when mike brown steps in shit the shit wipes mike brown off.
by dandresden on May 14, 2010 12:47 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Or did Roethlisberger do the nasty with Mike Brown?
Such are the infinite mysteries of Mike Brown.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:47 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Brown walked through a rainstorm and didn't even get wet and bailed through Hell and didn't even bust a sweat
/alkaholik’d
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Mike Brown walks through. Everyday. In Gasoline Boots.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:51 AM EDT up reply actions
Walks through hell. Everyday. In Gasoline Boots.
Mike Brown popped through my TV like the Ringu chick and reminded me to include hell in that comment.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:52 AM EDT up reply actions
Then he immediately benched you in favor of Shaq, right? Because I refuse to believe that story unless it involved somebody getting unnecessarily benched for Shaq.
Well, Shaq is typing this right now and csloce23 is sitting glumly on his bed.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:56 AM EDT up reply actions
Oh, wait.
Sorry, I’m Shaq. That’s what Biz Markie Moon goes by on every other website.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:56 AM EDT up reply actions
w/the cavs sheets
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
What's he gonna say?
He’s a white boy from Southwest Virginia that wears nerd glasses and listens to old, broken ass vinyl. He ain’t talking back to Shaq!
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:09 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Brown was gonna draft Jerebko but felt sorry for Joe Dumars
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
by Skylar on May 14, 2010 12:35 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
maybe the cavs can sign darius miles again
/rec’d
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
by sauce1977 on May 14, 2010 12:28 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
The Booze is available
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
That Tony Allen dunk was so fucking rude.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
i had to make sure that was tony allen
i never saw the guy do anything that sick in his life.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
basically. and he landed hard on that ankle
and kept going full-bore. Celts are just better.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I'm the first cat to say I had the celtics written-off
I called them corpses and woulda predicted The Cleveland Jameses opening up on them like a colombian firing squad
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Oh, definitely
I’m not gonna lie, the Cavs were looking super scary for a while.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions
At a far glance, I could have swore that was Ray Allen.
If Ray Allen finds a way to dunk on you, then, yeah, your team is fucked.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:39 AM EDT up reply actions
on fear the sword they have a fanpost that is titled “off season needs to address”. i think you guys got only one thing to think about.
They have an abundance of shit going on over there
their webmaster throws up 3 posts after their openthread, and the rest of those fruitcakes are going apeshit pondering their team’s fate
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
they are suggesting getting chris paul. why the fuck would you get cp3 when you need lebron with the ball in his hands all the time.
Yeah, there is no effing way they're getting CP3.
Try Collison, hosers.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:46 AM EDT up reply actions
White chocolate?
Cavs 2011 Champs
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
I meant Darren Collison or however you pronounce his name.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions
if there was a ewing effect for the cavs the theoretical year after they lost a guy like lebron
i think that would pretty much end the world of basquettebawle for me.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Farmar
They need to set their signts a little lower.
For some reason, that doesn't seem like a bad move.
Probably because it’s late.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:49 AM EDT up reply actions
Sadly enough, I could see that
Or send Antwan Jamison to New York for Eddy Curry and Shaq to Minnesota for Darko.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:54 AM EDT up reply actions
i think im at the point where i think the cavs are fucked. there isnt any moves they can make to put them over the hump. its just a losing organization. this may be premature but bron might not be jordan or kobe even but instead tmac or iverson. another fake ass propped up nba superstar.
He's on a team of jokers.
Dude will be back. Fell short this year, but he’ll be back.
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
He's gonna win one championship
but he’s not going to be on the level of Kobe or Jordan. No effing way.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:58 AM EDT up reply actions
my favorite scenario is him winning one as a dale davis sort of role player on the detroit pistons when he’s 35.
That's almost like a Greek tragedy.
Well, for Lebron.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions
MISSING PERSON ALERT: LeBron Raymone James, Cleveland, OH – Age 25
D.O.B. 12/30/84. Reported missing 5/11/10. Last seen being taken to
school by Rajon Rondo (Boston Celtics). Not heard from since Nike
stopped running puppet commercials. Last seen in false NBA crown. James
may be in need of medical attention for elbow. …A…ny info helping
authorities find LeBron or his game, contact 800-FAKE-MVP
by DBB Diablo on May 14, 2010 12:48 AM EDT reply actions 9 recs
Mike Brown is calling everybody he knows, and watching "Taken" to pump himself up.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Mike Brown is doing Cock Pushups
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
When Mike Brown does cock pushups, he refers to them as pushdowns, because his cock pushes the earth downward.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:53 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Brown broke my Vase with his damned cock pushups
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Mike Brown bought Microsoft secretly with the treasure from "The Goonies."
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions
so that's the guy that greenlit windows vista.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
by sauce1977 on May 14, 2010 12:59 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Makeup?
Mike Brown’s a shape shifter son. He’s really a Native American shaman called “No Running with Old Men.”
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions
he’s a changeling from the delta quandrant. one of the founders.
by dandresden on May 14, 2010 1:02 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Mike Brown is "The Stig"
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
Is Lebron Captain Metropolis?
THE CONSPIRACY THICKENS.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:03 AM EDT up reply actions
Alan Moore needs to quit writing about fairies boinking each other
so he can do a “Lebron James is secretly Ctuhulu” series.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:08 AM EDT up reply actions
General consensus of this thread is...
“haha Lebron” then?
My Music: Some Sorta Giant
My Blog: Strike Three Mechanics
and Mike Brown
where you been, sonny boy?
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
the conference finals have been canceled
LeBron/Mike Brown Watch is in full affect
Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
Twitter
Stern's already got to you!
Interning in the League Office this summer, eh?
just passing along the message I'm getting from SportsCenter
Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
Twitter
Lebron is eating a quart of Cherry Garcia icecream with a spoon made out of money.
Mike Brown is acting out the whole of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” to amuse him.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:11 AM EDT up reply actions
Franklin Mint Steez
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
They're all of Lebron's D and D characters.
Jesus, Mathmas Gandhi, Albert Einstein, and the greatest of all, Mike Brown.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:14 AM EDT up reply actions
This thread must archived
I’m sure we’ve probably predicted the future somewhere in here, and we must preserve it to prove we are right when the event that happens that we predicted.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:16 AM EDT reply actions
This just in:
Lebron is taking a one-year sabbatical from the league to play as a goalie for the Australian World Cup team.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:20 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I thought he was taking a sabbatical to contend for the World 10 meter air pistol competition?
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
one of lebron's parents is getting murdered this summer?
/mafia conspiracy’d
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
by sauce1977 on May 14, 2010 1:22 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Lebron was what really walked out of Jesus tomb.
the image on the shroud of Turin is actually Lebron.
My Music: Some Sorta Giant
My Blog: Strike Three Mechanics
Mike Brown IS Lebron.
/David Lynch’d
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:31 AM EDT up reply actions
OH MY GOD
HE’S ON THE CELL PHONE, WHERE DID ALL THE BACKGROUND NOISE GO, MY BRAIN IS PUDDING NOW
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
i saw fire walk with me in the theatres
watching that with my dad was one of the most uncomfortable times I spent during my teenaged years.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Never seen it.
I’ve seen Mullholland Drive, the Robert Blake scene from Lost Highway, half of Twin Peaks season one, and Blue Velvet. Blue Velvet’s probably in my top ten movies of all time.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:39 AM EDT up reply actions
Lynch is the Bill Brasky of filmmakers
but Bill Brasky is the Mike Brown of the universe.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:42 AM EDT up reply actions
I’m at the episode where Audrey Horne ends up in Coopers bed, waiting for him, with no clothes on, other wise known as one of my many sexual fantasies. But still, Bob is creepy.
Has nothing on mystery man though. Jesus Christ.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:51 AM EDT up reply actions
One of my former co-workers was in Twin Peaks
The pilot episode during the homecoming scene…his band is the band playing. Of course this was back when he was in like college or just out of college but still. Always a funny random fact to throw out among Twin Peaks fans…I still haven’t seen the full series though. Watched the first few episodes and then got sidetracked by other tv
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Completely off topic except for David Lynch but
Jesus Christ was the girl who played Audrey Horne hot.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:38 AM EDT up reply actions
You fucking bastard.
Now I’m not getting any sleep.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:35 AM EDT up reply actions
Man, Robert Blake doesn't look so hot
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
If hotness was creepiness
then that picture would be like the damn Farrah Fawcett poster.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:44 AM EDT up reply actions
mystery man reference from above
best to be experienced with fresh eyes, first-hand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZowK0NAvig
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
I remember renting the Twin Peaks pilot with my wife (then-girlfriend) way back in university when we were were at a house alone for the summer. The part where the mom remembers going into her daughter’s room and sees Bob hiding behind the bed with his face peaking out between the bed rails was the scariest thing ever. My wife is still freaked out if I even mention it, and it has definitely stuck with both of us for years.
by garrettelliott on May 14, 2010 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions
We've already got Mark Schwarzer in goals
but if Rick Moranis can shrink LeBron to about 5’2" and 50kg(112lb), he can partake in the National Kangaroo Riding Championships.
Today on Mythbusters...Is Lebron James the greatest?
by madpoopz on May 14, 2010 1:25 AM EDT reply actions 5 recs
Oh my God.
I’m gonna wake up my whole house laughing.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:29 AM EDT up reply actions
I've posted over a hundred times in this one thread
proof I need sleep.
by Biz Markie Moon on May 14, 2010 1:48 AM EDT reply actions
Still Trolololololing
Goodnight DBBers, and silly cavs fans. Joe Johnson can wear #23 in Cleveland next yr
"Someday pray that he will grow a farm barn full, Recent research shows its not so darn harmful"
by Skylar on May 14, 2010 1:55 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
good call! 'consolation prize' for the fools
gnight Skylar
Detroit Bad Boys- SB Nation's Detroit Pistons Blog
Twitter
so theres a new rumor out there
apparently lebron found out before game 4 that something was going between delonte west and his mom. like that delonte was banging his mom.
heard about that terezowens shits
and that’s like the gossip site for men (sports), but i gotta say, i couldn’t get the page opened just now to check it out. traffic must be crazy.
i wonder when terez is gonna join sbnation to avoid bandwith rape?!?
i curse thee, sbnation, you internet neutrality slut!
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
i hope its true. that would be a most hilarious turn of events. i picture a scene like in purple rain where delonte west is crazy and wasted and yelling at brons mom and bron rushes in to save her and delonte slaps him in the mouth.
hahahah
that’s so trashy and scandalous, i love it.
if i were lebron, and my mom got sexed by a teammate, then i’d probably seek to be disowned. can a child disown a parent?!?
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
i'm thinking he did
his parents basically owned his earnings and were irresponsible with that money, and he needed to legally create a breach so he could retain control of what was left.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
delonte west: hey now son, calm down you’re upsetting your mother.
lebron james: YOU ARENT THE BOSS OF ME! JUST CUZ YOU ARE FUCKING MY MOM DOESNT MEAN YOU ARE MY DAD!
Family drama FTW
Delonte- “Why won’t you let me in to your life?! I want us to be buddies, ’cept I get to bang your mom!”
Delonte, you need to take him to ball games (not Cavs, that would be awkward) and buy him a new toy. Then he’ll be able to sleep despite the sounds of you plowing his mom drifting down the hallway.
I'm just like a sports reporter, but without the insight or money.
by SadPanda1 on May 14, 2010 8:48 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
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