Elections were held and ballots were counted (for those of you who missed the opportunity to vote, sucks to be you) and after numerous recounts (total of 1 votes submitted), I, The Boourns have been elected by the DBB faithful to post a weekly trade thread. It seems the credentials I put forth during my campaign - my long-standing tradition of unrealistic trades, 8000+ comments, and almost 90 fanposts - has led you all to put your faith in me to generate some of the most entertaining and utterly pointless conversation we Pistons fans may have this season. Specifically, theoretical trades that 999 times out of 1000 never actually happen. But that's the pessimistic view. That 1 in a 1000 moment when JoD pulls the trigger on a trade that a DBB faithful proposed months earlier is worth all the pointless discussion in the world. I humbly accept the appointment and hope that my daily dose of 22 oz beers will not prevent me from performing my duty to its full extent.
With that in mind, there have been some interesting trades this week. Specifically:
- Clippers trade MFAFA, The Ugly Caveman, and The Better Gordon + Kahn's 1st round draft pick for Chris Paul
- Rudy Fernandez and Corey Brewer to Denver for a Walter Sharpe (2nd round draft pick for those not keeping score at home)
- Minnesota traded Lazar Hayward to the Team Formerly Known as the Sonics for 2 conditional Walter Sharpe's and a Robert Vaden who after waving to fans in Minnesota was promptly waived by Kahn.
With the real world trades out of the way, its on to NBA Imaginationland...
Before I dive into my weekly theoretical trade, I wanted to mention an interview I saw of Kobe shortly after CP3 appeared at Media Day in LA. I've done my weak attempt at finding the video with no luck, but it aired on NBA TV which actually has something to show these days other than NBA Finals from the late 80s. Essentially it went something like this:
Reporter: So what do you think of the new look Clippers?
Kobe: Oh...I'd DEFINITELY watch THEM...
Reporter: Wait so are you being sarcastic?
Kobe: Am I being sarcastic? No! Blake has like a 60 inch vertical and Chris Paul? He's doing this that and the other thing...so yeah I'd DEFINITELY watch them on TV...
Reporter: So you're not being sarcastic at all?
Kobe: No...I mean...Its cool what they're doing...but I mean...I like jewelry...I like talkin' bout jewelry...thats what I like...
I only point this out because I recall a comment in the past week about the difference between a prick and a douche bag and how Kobe personifies that prick attitude that MJ perfected while Lebron fulfills the USDA Prime Douche Bag tag. This conversation is just a perfect example of how big of a prick Kobe can be.
Alright...so here's my trade scenario. The Clippers are now reaching an alarming number of guards even after having sent The Better Gordon to New Orleans (Mo Williams, Randy Foye, Eric Bledsoe, Chris Paul, some guy named Willie Warren, and B-B-B-Billups). Not only is that a lotta guards, but none of them are taller than 6'4". Meanwhile, who is backing up DeAndre, Blake, and Caron? Uhhhhhh....well...Ryan Gomes and Brian Cook? No seriously, those are literally the only two dudes they have on contract right now. They obviously need some bigs to come off the bench and need to get rid of some guards...
Pistons receive: Randy Foye (from Clippers) and Nikola Pekovic (from T'Wolves)
T'wolves receive: Mo' Williams (from Clippers)
Clippers receive: Charlie Villanueva (from Detroit) and Anthony Randolph (from T'Wolves)
Pistons shed CV for 2 shorter term contracts, that continue to help bring balance to the team (while also making Stuckey less relevant)
T'Wolves receive a starting caliber point guard to help Rubio along the way in his rookie year
Clippers receive a backup PF and C that are serviceable behind their monter starting frontcourt
I sincerely hope you enjoyed this first of many threads. I am personally humbled by you, the DBB masses, for electing me as your President of Hypothetical Trades (PHT...not PHD). Now your thoughts.