All-star game thread - Eastern Conference vs. Western Conference

Truth be told, analyzing the all-star game is kind of a silly endeavor. It's a safe bet that the first quarter will be spent chasing poorly thrown alley-oop passes and watching three pointers clank off the iron.

The second quarter will see the least deserving all-stars pop up some mid-range jump shots in an effort to justify their existence. One team will compile a double digit lead before the fourth quarter, at which point both teams will start to play semi-serious ball.

David Stern will appear to say something esoteric about contraction and lockouts.

The end will see Kobe Bryant miss a lot of shots, but make two or three, which he will celebrate by making his rectal exam face. The waning minutes will see the announcers quibbling over which 10-26 shooting performance deserves the MVP award.

One of the bigs will have like 19 points and 14 rebounds on 7-8 shooting. Nobody will talk about how they should maybe be considered for MVP.

Half a dozen jokes will be made about how hungover the players are from all the partying. Did you know the game is being played in Los Angeles? It's being played in Los Angeles. There are lots of opportunities to party in Los Angeles. Did you know that? You will know that.

Shaquille O'Neal will get more screen time than all but five players playing in the game.

The half-time show will suck.

Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Cat Jello Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmel Agony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Angry Carmody Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony Carmelo Anthony

...trade rumors

The game will end at like 12:20 am, which is just ridiculous.

ENJOY!

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