A Readers Guide to Keith Langlois

Our friend Keith at unloaded both barrels of rainbows and unicorns in defense of Jod in his post-trade deadline article. Let's take a closer look at some of the things he said.

First the title:

ALL QUIET: To stand pat in tough times no easier than rolling the dice in good ones. 

Huh. Not sure about this assertion. Will it be backed up by a) logical evidence, or b) extended metaphors/parables about firing bullets and cresting waves and 60 cents on the dollar and dice rolling? The article title may have already answered this question.

It takes guts to do what Danny Ainge did as the NBA trade deadline approached Thursday.

It takes guts to do what Joe Dumars did, as well, as that same deadline approached.

Dumb ≠ Gutsy.


And that’s no easier – with trades flying all around the league – when you’re the president of a franchise accustomed to long playoff runs, suddenly staring at the likelihood of a second consecutive season on the postseason sideline, than to roll the dice as Ainge did.

It takes guts to stand pat when there is a public clamor for action, when your team is openly frustrated by its own lack of success, when the losses mount and the unrest among fans still coming to The Palace swells proportionately.


Run-on sentences take guts.

If it was a deal that gave him even a 51-49 chance to better the product, he would have done it.

Jod's basketball acumen is so finely attuned he can determine the chances of a better/worse product from a trade down to single percentage points. (ed- no word yet from Keith as to whether this applies to free agent signings)

The Pistons didn’t get any better on Thursday, but they didn’t get any worse, either.

Mind --> BLOWN

Look south to Cleveland and consider the Cavs. They made a bold move Wednesday, sending Mo Williams and Jamario Moon to the Clippers for Baron Davis and this year’s No. 1 pick, a certain lottery pick.

The Cavs made a possibly bad, potentially very bad deal. What does this have to do with the Pistons? More in a second.

My hunch is that an overwhelming number of Pistons fans would have celebrated a similar deal, though the Pistons don’t have similar pieces.

That's not a hunch. That is me stabbing a voodoo doll connected to your spirit in the ass.

This is actually a pretty incredible sentence, even by Keith's standards.

"My hunch is"  =  I have no evidence

"an overwhelming number of Pistons fans would have celebrated a similar deal"  =  rock solid strawman construction

"though the Pistons don’t have similar pieces."  =  strawman self-immolation

In sum: "I have no evidence, but here's a strawman, but that strawman doesn't apply in this case."

The closest thing to it would be Tayshaun Prince (like Moon, an expiring contract, though a considerably better player) and Rodney Stuckey.

Tay + Stuckey is to Wlliams + Moon  as  Red Panda + Stampede is to Keith + Langlois. I think I screwed that up. But seriously, what the heck are you talking about here, Keith? Those are not equivalent at all. Tay's expiring contract is over $11m, Moon's is $3m. And Mo Williams contract runs just as long as Barons, but for less money per year.

The Cavs decided-->  crappy team + more $ per year (but same number of years) + extra lottery pick > crappy team + less $ per year + no extra lottery pick.

A willingness to spend money, if it’s not combined with the self-discipline to spend it wisely, can backfire big-time on teams.

The next time Jod orders chinese, someone please slip this into his fortune cookie.

And that reminds me, Keith please answer this question: Is paying Tay the prorated remainder of $11m to play SF for the final 25 games of the season money wisely spent? Could there have been a way to use the same amount of money that might have added an asset and opened up playing time for some of the younger players?

The correct, but unfortunately not gutsy enough answers are, in order; No. Yes.

Tay for Caron and a 1st round pick. This is not a strawman.

Not firing your gun today means bullets in the chamber for a time the hunting might prove more favorable.

Nice. My only problem with this sentence is after setting us up with the steely gun/bullet/chamber imagery, Keith leaves us hanging with the "prove more favorable" weaksauce ending.

NBA GMs smell blood in the water.

Ah, those dumb GM's, don't they know Jod still has free reign to deploy his basketball acumen however he sees fit?

They well know the situation with the Pistons – Joe D has said he has “parameters” that he must work within as a result of the pending sale of the franchise – and the calls he took were asking him to accept 50 or 60 cents on the dollar just to wipe a nickel or a dime from his books.

Oh. Umm. Yeah, next time please keep us lowly Pistons fans in the loop. You have to deflate those hopes early, waiting this long only makes it worse.

Sigh. Now I don't even have the heart to decipher how the math in this hypothetical can possibly add up.

The fact the Pistons did nothing further unsettles Pistons Nation.

Settle us.

It takes just as much fortitude to resist acting from desperation when you’re drifting somewhere below the surface. Struggle too much against the current and you’ll find yourself settled into the muck at the bottom.

Next time, for all our sakes Keith, please please please settle on one visual metaphor. Thanks in advance.


It takes guts to be bold when you’re riding the surf’s crest.


It takes guts to be bold. Indeed.

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