A Tale of Two Red Pandas
by Shinons on Apr 23, 2011 4:38 PM EDT
Email
PrintIt was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way— in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
There were a coach with a large jaw and a general manager with a plain face, on the throne of San Antonio; there were a coach with a small jaw and a general manager with a rotund face, on the throne of Detroit. In both franchises it was clearer than crystal to the lords of the State preserves of loaves and fishes, that things in general were settled for ever.
It was the year of Our Lord two thousand and five.
I was thinking how much one shot might have change the course of these two franchises - game 5 of the 2005 Finals, Horry over Wallace. Rather than the Pistons winning its third in a row of the series to push the Spurs to the brink of elimination, Horry turned the tables. Perhaps if the Pistons had won that series, Brown would have come back with the Pistons for 2005-06. Perhaps Brown would have been enough to take the 64 win Pistons back to the Finals. But it wasn't meant to be, and unrest and anxiety led Dumarspierre to take drastic, and superbly failed, measures. Also perhaps it would be the Spurs who grew impatient after an injury plagued 2005-06 for Ginobili and slow start for the following season - perhaps they would feel the need to move one of their core pieces in order to extend their window.
So yeah, that's how I killed the hour waiting for Horry to start signing autographs. To get the red panda picture, I just took a high resolution picture to Walgreens and got an 8x10. Horry was nice, seemed to think it was funny I was asking for a picture of a red panda to be signed - my story was that it was for a friend, and represented that shot from Game 5. I had a silver Sharpie, so figured I'd have him sign it with that to represent the Spurs colors for our pal SpursFanSteve - however, idiot that I am, there's a darker colors the Spurs wear that would have shown up better. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy.
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So awesome on SOOOO many levels
I did a little looking around, and I found that the record for rec’s by a fan post on this site was hewizard’s infamous “Pandas, Batsignals, and Man-Children” thread with 37 recs. I totally expect this post to give him a run for his money. Make me proud, DBB.
"You’d be surprised what you can accomplish if you’re not concerned with making sense!"- PS
by bugman222 on Apr 23, 2011 4:58 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Should be some pounders coming over to top it off.
Free Steve Novak
by SpursfanSteve on Apr 27, 2011 6:23 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Really I hope I don't take over heWizard
But if I do, I’m glad to have the asterisk of a second blog’s help – kinda like steroids. heWiz and his girlfiriend’s work deserves that record the same way Hank Aaron does. Just legendary.
It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
by Shinons on Apr 27, 2011 10:17 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
38.
Done. I’m not sure how many came from one-time PtR visitors, or the couple of us that regularly lurk (I know I rec’d, and I’m pretty sure JRW did.)
Free Steve Novak
by SpursfanSteve on Apr 28, 2011 1:28 AM EDT up reply actions
Will you invite us to the ceremony?
And make jokes in my general direction, as I watch, smiling from the first row, dying on the inside?
This signature is false.
by heWizard on Apr 28, 2011 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Also
It takes skill to hit a FanPost out of the park — to connect your keyboard to our collective consciousness. To tap into our devout Pistons sensibilities. Even if you are juicing, it takes skill, you know? Mad skill.
But before I give you your 39th rec, will you do the future generations of DBB a favor change your name to Shinons*?
This signature is false.
by heWizard on Apr 28, 2011 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
heWizard with a stand-up triple.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Done!
Now, any way to make my old account link to this one…?
by Shinons* on Apr 29, 2011 12:12 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Awesome beyond words...
"You’d be surprised what you can accomplish if you’re not concerned with making sense!"- PS
Bravo Mr. Shiny Onions, Bravo
This post needs to be hung in the metaphorical rafters.
Welcome... to the Wallace-hood
Great moment in DBB history, or greatest moment in DBB history?
MF Shiny Onions, your valiant effort enables DBB to move on—at long last—from Detroit’s tragic defeat at the hands of the Spurs. And your Big Shot Panda has made the world just a little more like DBB. It was GOOD.
Greatest moment in DBB history, or greatest moment in internet-sports-blogging-related-events?
by Toledo Joe on Apr 24, 2011 10:31 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
All of the above. And now for the inevitable next step—
—a DBB expedition to Nepal…where we find several red pandas in the wild, bring them back to Detroit, train them to become fierce killers (this part should be easy), and sic them on unsuspecting Pistons opponents. 41-0 at home should be enough to get DET into the pandas playoffs next year.
by -PS- on Apr 24, 2011 11:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
My suitemate is Nepalese.
WORD PLAY
by Biz Markie Moon on Apr 25, 2011 12:35 AM EDT up reply actions
I worked with some Nepalese at a gas station a couple summers ago. Nice guys.
Free Steve Novak
by SpursfanSteve on Apr 25, 2011 12:36 AM EDT up reply actions
OH SNAP!
You should cross-post this at PTR.
by garrettelliott on Apr 23, 2011 7:50 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
You sir, are the baddest of bad mamma jammas. You make Shaft look like Urkel and Chuck Norris look like one of the nerds from “Big Bang”.
I thank you, and while I am grateful for the picture and the Horry shot, I regret that it lead, ultimately, to the destruction of D-troit Basket-ball as we knew it.
I offer you a million thanks, and if possible, a million rec’s.
Free Steve Novak
May it long hang on your wall as a token between the two teams
And a reminder that:
- The grass is not always greener on the other side – especially if that grass can’t play point and BG is better at the two
- These teams are at their best when they play that beautiful style that so infuriates David Stern
- Players like Allen Iverson or Tracy McGrady don’t lead to titles – players like Chauncey, Ben, Duncan, and Manu do
It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
by Shinons on Apr 24, 2011 1:02 PM EDT up reply actions 13 recs
Shinons, you are just about as cool as can be. I’m so stunned by the awesomeness of this post that I’m resorting to cliches and I couldn’t care less.
All hail the DBB/PtR connection! Long may it endure.
Pounding the Rock
When you’re not trying to tear apart the fabric of society, you’re pretty cool. -Hipuks
by J.R. Wilco on Apr 27, 2011 6:31 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
HOLY SHIT.
OMFG MFSHINONS I JUST SHARTED. THIS IS AMAZING.
Jai Alai's got the bomb hops, drinkin Belgian styles from Cooperstown to Comstock.
You bet he did
Last summer, Horry did a local Pizza Hut commercial. Then, at the beginning of the season, in one of the pre-game press conferences Pop referred to Robert as stuffed-crust Horry.
All of the reporters exploded into hysterics.
Pounding the Rock
When you’re not trying to tear apart the fabric of society, you’re pretty cool. -Hipuks
Wait… Horry was doing this before he retired…
"If the NBA season is a marathon, Gregg Popovich is a full-blooded Kenyan."
-Timothy Varner 48MoH
by Jordan Leithart on Apr 27, 2011 7:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Kind of like what happened to Turkoglu in Toronto!
Om nom nom nom….
Except Turk is actually still supposed to play professional ball.
by garrettelliott on Apr 27, 2011 7:35 PM EDT up reply actions
This is freakin awesome.
We need a wall of fame for basketball players signing pandas.
I'm off to point the pink pistol at the porcelain firing range.
Would it be possible for you to scan the signed photo and upload it to the site?
I think we would all like to bask in its glory for a while.
"You’d be surprised what you can accomplish if you’re not concerned with making sense!"- PS
The red panda above is the signed one
He signed on the darkest part of the picture – also if you click the pic, it’ll take you to the Flickr post which you can click on to enlarge.
It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
Gotcha. I missed it at first
"You’d be surprised what you can accomplish if you’re not concerned with making sense!"- PS
As Robert said "It doesn't show up too great"
Clutch, as usual.
It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
Yeah I was looking hard...too hard really...and then changed the angle of my laptop screen and it appeared.
So much win.
Maybe I’ll try to get CV31 or BG in Portland when they make the trip out. Knowing that Red Pandas are used somewhat ironically in this situation, is there an animal that we’d want our fondest Pistons players/people (thinking Blaha/kelser) to sign instead?
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
I"m wearing this to the Trailblazers/Pistons game next year.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on Apr 26, 2011 11:35 AM EDT up reply actions
With a Jerebko jersey.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
I'm surprising the fiance with a sexy evening of Red Panda furry action tonight.
Gonna be great.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on Apr 27, 2011 7:47 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Rec'd, good story
I hate Robert Horry
Metallic sharpie is the best ink to use for autographs. You did the right thing.
That goddamn Okra and beans got you Oprah in jeans. Seems to me a little lean cuisine, wouldn't hurt much- Agh don't touch! -Obie Trice
Thanks all for the rec's
I’m glad you all enjoyed – certainly made it worth being around all those bandwagon ass cat Laker fans.
It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
Playoff beard?
/wings
//certainly not pistons
That goddamn Okra and beans got you Oprah in jeans. Seems to me a little lean cuisine, wouldn't hurt much- Agh don't touch! -Obie Trice
For charity
Me and a couple other guys grew them as a conversation piece to raise money for Big Brothers Big Sisters.
It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
by Shinons on Apr 25, 2011 8:56 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
Me and a friend did that one year to raise money for the Carver Academy, a school David Robinson started in downtown SA.
Free Steve Novak
by SpursfanSteve on Apr 26, 2011 2:20 AM EDT up reply actions
yeah...folks at work have "Movember"
or Mustache November. Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month (at least I think it is), a group has started a prostate cancer awareness program in November called “Movember.” The idea being that you commit to growing a mustache regardless of cheesiness and/or creepiness and people commit donations to support you. Like the beards, its a great conversation starter and prostate cancer is one of those things that seems to go largely unattended by men. At least in comparison to how much information and awareness there is for breast cancer. Since my Dad had a bout with prostate cancer going on 6 years ago, its an area that I’m particularly fond of supporting.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on Apr 26, 2011 11:58 AM EDT up reply actions
I think its an area all men are fond of supporting, so long as that support doesn’t restrict movement or cause chaffing.
Free Steve Novak
by SpursfanSteve on Apr 26, 2011 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
That's a great idea
Perhaps we could organize DBB Movember?
It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
by Shinons on Apr 27, 2011 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Here is some inspiration. I call The Buddha.
Jai Alai's got the bomb hops, drinkin Belgian styles from Cooperstown to Comstock.
YES!
DBB Movember is a great idea. I’ve actually participated the last two years but never had the foresight to organize something here. But it should (nay, WILL) happen this year.
Not only that, but if for some reason the Pistons come out of the gates particularly hot
we’ll all be obligated to keep the mustache for as long as they’re playing well.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Unless Joe D does jack-shit-nothing over the summer
Then we should call them strike beards and not shave until Dumars is fired
Welcome... to the Wallace-hood
late to this party but this (this photo and your beard) is awesome.
Shinons, do you wake up in the morning and piss excellence? I’m rec’ing and then un’rec’ing just so I can rec it again…
Glad you enjoyed them
And actually, it’s a combination of excellence, cherry pie, and buckshot
It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.
by Shinons on Apr 27, 2011 12:23 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
as official bearded man
I agree, recs for beard
I have decided to start a career in rap under the presumptuous name of Dextrorotatory Glucose. However, you may call me "D-Sugar" for short
by bearded thundar on Apr 28, 2011 3:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
rec'ognizing that thundarous beard of yours sir
That goddamn Okra and beans got you Oprah in jeans. Seems to me a little lean cuisine, wouldn't hurt much- Agh don't touch! -Obie Trice
By the way...
How and why did you insert photo reverse?
Where broken English happens
by OK from J on Apr 25, 2011 7:49 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
excellent question.
You’re sharp as a ginsu, 友達
That goddamn Okra and beans got you Oprah in jeans. Seems to me a little lean cuisine, wouldn't hurt much- Agh don't touch! -Obie Trice
Props !!!
And like mentioned somewhere above, this is therapeutic. I can now put that shot behind me and resolve all of the deep rooted resentments I have held for the spurs. Hell. based on your word alone, Horry isn’t such a douche after all. Thanks Man!
Formerly known as SCNTFC!
As you should.
Hate Hate Hate
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put water on Robert Horry’s momma’s dish
That goddamn Okra and beans got you Oprah in jeans. Seems to me a little lean cuisine, wouldn't hurt much- Agh don't touch! -Obie Trice
by Skylar on Apr 26, 2011 1:46 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
The 2005 NBA Finals
Never was I happier to watch the Pistons lose.
And yes, I will explain this (though I believe I have mentioned it before):
Game 6 of the Finals. It’s midway through the 3rd or 4th. I can’t remember because that whole night was hazy. We get a call on the land-line (back when those things still existed). My father went and picked it up. After a brief hello, there was silence. Then a look of horror on my dad’s face. Then something I had never witnessed before and don’t believe I ever will happened: my dad dropped to his knees, absolutely sobbing.
My Uncle Jim had taken his own life.
The next few hours were nothing but sobbing, crying, and trying our best to relay the information. But there was no escaping it. My mother and father immediately drove up north to visit my aunt and try to comfort her to the best of their abilities. Me? I just laid on the floor. No pillow or blanket, just laying there in jeans and a t-shirt. My mom informed me they were going up north, I said nothing. I didn’t know what to say. I barely moved the rest of the day.
The following night, the Pistons and Spurs took on each other in game 7, the deciding game. At first, I couldn’t even imagine sitting down and watching sports at a time like this. But my dad said we should sit down and watch. And we did. And we forgot. It was the greatest feeling in the world at the time. There was no grief, there was no anger or frustration. It was simply Detroit basketball.
So we watched, and rooted, and got excited, and once the game ended, even with the disappointment of not winning back to back. As the feelings of reality slowly crept back in, I learned a couple things very important:
1. Life will continue on. It’s your choice whether to remain stuck in the past or to continue on with it. It may take a while and it may not be easy, but you can get there if you have the desire. It took me a while to get over his death, but it eventually came.
2. The Pistons are a distraction. Sometimes a beautiful, glorious distraction. Sometimes a frustrating, annoying distraction. But the point being that the Pistons (or any form of entertainment, really) should be allowing you to have a temporary escape from reality. And you can’t use it to mask or hide real feelings forever.
I know it sounds a bit hokey but at the end of the day, for that night alone, I bet winning and losing would have felt no different a few hours after the game. But just having something to take my mind off of everything going around me was one of the greatest things the Piston organization ever did for me. And if I ever get the time to tell them this story, I would personally thank them from the bottom of my heart of that moment.
Terrence J. is feeling a bit fishy...
by Trout Jefferson on Apr 26, 2011 7:25 PM EDT reply actions 17 recs
Thank you for listening.
Although it seems like I’ve always got the most depressing stories.
Terrence J. is feeling a bit fishy...
by Trout Jefferson on Apr 27, 2011 5:03 AM EDT up reply actions
I bet winning and losing would have felt no different a few hours after the game. But just having something to take my mind off of everything going around me was one of the greatest things the Piston organization ever did for me.
Truth and rec’d
Cousins would have run amok on Kuester, I bet. I’m glad we have the cerebral assassin, Greg Monroe.
by garrettelliott on Mar 19, 2011 12:30 PM EDT
by alaskanpistonsfan on Apr 27, 2011 4:55 PM EDT reply actions
This post is so full of win that Duncan, Manu, Tony, Chauncey, Rip, and Ben would all kneel before it in proper reverence
"If the NBA season is a marathon, Gregg Popovich is a full-blooded Kenyan."
-Timothy Varner 48MoH
by Jordan Leithart on Apr 27, 2011 5:51 PM EDT reply actions
I have to admit...if you asked me 6 years ago whether I ever thought I'd willingly conversate with Spurs fans I would have smacked you right in the mouth.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
But now, it just makes so much sense. Like finding out your arch enemy Golbez is actually your long-lost brother, and you team up to fight the real evil behind it all, Zemus.
Jai Alai's got the bomb hops, drinkin Belgian styles from Cooperstown to Comstock.
by Mike Payne on Apr 27, 2011 8:45 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Can I be Kain?
Terrence J. is feeling a bit fishy...
by Trout Jefferson on Apr 27, 2011 11:35 PM EDT up reply actions
What the hell is going on.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on Apr 28, 2011 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions
You spoony bard!
Terrence J. is feeling a bit fishy...
by Trout Jefferson on Apr 28, 2011 2:42 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Rec'd
For referencing my favorite game of all time. The first time I went to the moon it BLEW MY MIND.
"It might be cool, I don't know... and if not, I don't care."
-Ronald Jenkees
I'm sorry what game is this?
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
Final Fantasy IV!
Or “Final Fantasy II” if you got it on the super nintendo for your birthday when you were a kid. :)
"It might be cool, I don't know... and if not, I don't care."
-Ronald Jenkees
Epic, Shinons.
"A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It’s what happens while you wait for moments that will never come." - Lester Freamon, The Wire
by silverandblack_davis on Apr 27, 2011 8:05 PM EDT reply actions
We are all winner from visiting this thread.
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime
by the little o on Apr 27, 2011 8:27 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
This one is SOOO amazing.
"You’d be surprised what you can accomplish if you’re not concerned with making sense!"- PS
by bugman222 on Apr 28, 2011 12:52 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
What we need is an animated .gif of the original photo with this image...
It starts off as just the red panda, then some text pops up thats like, “Red Panda angry…you wouldn’t like Red Panda when he’s angry!” and then al lthat stuff pops up and maybe the fire coming out of his mouth flickers. Quick someone get on that.
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
When PtR grabs onto a meme, we do it with both hands.
by DrumsInTheDeep on Apr 28, 2011 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
Just the way Coach B taught us.
Free Steve Novak
by SpursfanSteve on Apr 28, 2011 5:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Coach B rocks.
Now if he could only teach Bonner to make shots in the playoffs.
Do not anger the Timmeh, but free Tiago!
+1
"If the NBA season is a marathon, Gregg Popovich is a full-blooded Kenyan."
-Timothy Varner 48MoH
by Jordan Leithart on Apr 29, 2011 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions
This red panda always uses two hands to rebound.
by -PS- on Apr 29, 2011 12:53 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I imagine him saying,
PASS ME THE BALL TAYSHAUN! I’M WIDE THE FUCK OPEN! LOOK, THIS OTHER RED PANDA ISN’T EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME. GOD DAMMIT TAYSHAUN!"
Jonas Jerebko once killed a charging female rhinoceros in heat protecting its young with nothing more than a hook shot.
by The Boourns on Apr 29, 2011 7:57 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
It's not rebound anymore.
It’s “Z-bound.”
sigh fuck zach randolph.
Free Steve Novak
by SpursfanSteve on May 1, 2011 9:58 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Muchos Gracias
We at PtR give y’all a standing o and we REALLY appreciated all the peeps of the DBB who let us borrow such a awesome supertastic meme as the red panda. And brought us some surriously good mojo.
~Chicks dig buzzer-beating treys.~
by eastbaysd on Apr 29, 2011 12:02 AM EDT reply actions 5 recs
Red pandas aren’t everything, they’re the only thing.
by -PS- on Apr 29, 2011 12:20 AM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
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