Do we have one of these? We need one of these. In case you're inattentive, slow, or prone to red panda attacks, the match-ups are:

Chicago Bullshit How Can You Root For Our Most Hated Central Division Rival v. The Miami Skeet

&

The Dallas Mavericks For Not Yet Retiring vs. The Oklahoma City Not The Actual Scary Thing But The Sound It Makes

I don't have any particular insights to provide other than that I hope OKC wins it all (cue The Boourns) and, either way, will be rooting for the Western Conference participant of this year's NBA Finals Classic.

And in case you're feeling down about the impending draft, an offseason of doom, or the memory of how great this time of year once was...

...here's a picture of some bacon. (Apologies to vegans. Also, get off our site.)

via 4.bp.blogspot.com