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Franking: Knicks 113, Pistons ... Ah, whatever

Larry Frank is getting ready for the Big Dance in March. (Photo by Chris Trotman/Getty Images)

Franking is the Lawrence Frank version of planking, the lying down losing game. If it looks, feels, and rhymes with tanking, it's probably... something or other, right? Ironically, Larry Frank is one of the few still showing some pulse. Maybe it's his own little stamp in shielding the truth of contrived horror; maybe it's his hair.

Seriously, the Pistons might be a Walker Russell start away from confirming that they are in fact tanking to land more lottery balls, less eyebrows. Or maybe Brandon Knight is the poop in the pudding. Whatever is going on, my blind homer in me hopes crazy carl mcflies is right.

As for an actual recap on this game? Upchucking bullets after the jump

Star-divide

  • Teamamericavomit_medium
  • Greg Monroe had his 11th double-double of the season with 13 points and 12 rebounds. It was his 5th straight which breaks the 4 straight he had twice last season. He also had 4 steals and 6 turnovers (5 of the Pistons' 13 in the first half).
  • Jonas Jerebko scored 15 points in 15 minutes. Maybe he was playing just a little too good?
  • Box score
  • Pistons had more shot opportunities thanks to a rebounding advantage, but the Knicks took advantage of 22 Pistons turnovers and 60-percent shooting.
  • Tayshaun Prince led the team with 13 shot attempts. Less than half went in.
  • Vernon Macklin's per 36 (roughly): 12 points and 12 rebounds
  • Ben Wallace doesn't get talked about enough, so here's a quote from Big Ben:
  • "In this league, unfortunately, sometimes, when you’re struggling, you get guys who want to take the load on their shoulders, which may not be the best thing for the team," Ben Wallace said. "But you can’t not let those guys not go out and play their game. Right now, we’re just not playing well as a team. There’s no one spot I can point a finger at and say, ‘We’ve got to get better at this,’ or, ‘We’ve got to get better at that.’ "
  • In that same link above, Stuckey and Prince say the ball is not moving.
  • I wish Austin Daye wasn't such a bad ball handler, so timid and soft.
  • This was the Pistons' sixth straight loss. It's a real bottom-dweller battle between Detroit, Washington, Charlotte and New Orleans.
  • That's not it, FSD:
  • Jonas Jerebko scored 15 points and Greg Monroe had 13 points and 12 rebounds for the Pistons (4-19), who lost their sixth straight and are struggling to even be competitive while playing without Ben Gordon, Charlie Villanueva and Will Bynum.
  • Roll Call: Sean_Corp, Mike Payne, JoeDip, -PS-, aussiepiston, JWurm, brgulker, mcflies, tads, revken, V., C$, The Boourns, MrHappyMushroom, Supa Dupe, Shinons*, waulie, Kriz, curlyfries, Skylar, Kruza, Toledo Joe, Packey, heWizard, freywagg, Ra's Head, Fadel, dandresden, BandWagonerPaysTheDues, thesiberian, NepaliBoy, Birdman84, riise, He-Man, bonerici, Trout Jefferson, TDP, WaveOcean

    Total Users: 38
    Total Posts: 417
    Total Threads: 1

    Name # of Posts
    The Boourns 90
    Skylar 45
    dandresden 42
    Mike Payne 20
    heWizard 19
    V. 17
    Kriz 17
    BandWagonerPaysTheDues 15
    MrHappyMushroom 15
    Packey 14
    Trout Jefferson 13
    mcflies 11
    thesiberian 11
    Kruza 10
    Ra's Head 10
    Toledo Joe 8
    JWurm 7
    curlyfries 6
    tads 5
    -PS- 4
    Sean_Corp 4
    WaveOcean 4
    Shinons* 4
    NepaliBoy 3
    freywagg 3
    JoeDip 3
    TDP 2
    aussiepiston 2
    riise 2
    Fadel 2
    waulie 2
    He-Man 1
    bonerici 1
    brgulker 1
    Supa Dupe 1
    C$ 1
    revken 1
    Birdman84 1


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maybe it’s his hair.

According to Tom Robbins, “Red hair is caused by sugar and lust”. Larry, you dirty devil, you.

lost their sixth straight and are struggling to even be competitive while playing without Ben Gordon, Charlie Villanueva and Will Bynum.

I proverbially hump your figurative mouth with my metaphoric penis, Fox Sports Detroit. That’s one toke over the line, motherfuckers. I’m fucking ecstatic for Ben and Charlie to return and lead us to the promised fucking land.

by Mike Payne on Feb 1, 2012 3:13 AM EST reply actions  

Prety much plain and clear as the nose on his face, yeah?

My blogs: pakagankarachi.livejournal.com (dormant)
burmahunkalove.livejournal.com (occasional signs of life)

by MrHappyMushroom on Feb 1, 2012 3:34 AM EST up reply actions  

I can't wait

Until we’re relevant again… sure, that’s an obvious statement, but these games… simply BRUTAL.

by blubomber17 on Feb 1, 2012 4:54 AM EST reply actions  

Given Rip's buyout cap hold

Why the fuck aren’t we trading BG/Tay/CV for deals expiring next year?! The flexibility would allow us to happily accept players like Josh Smith when teams want to cut costs.
If Joe doesn’t clear at least one of them by the deadline, he has to go.

by aussiepiston on Feb 1, 2012 6:06 AM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

Jonas Jerebko scored 15 points in 15 minutes. Maybe he was playing just a little too good?

This must be it. He did all that on only four shots. With the team taking a total of 71 shots over the course of the game, simple math tells us that Jonas with 30 minutes would clearly score points…lots of them. Then there’s Frank’s coaching genius just has the intuition of what it takes to best help this team.

by Shinons* on Feb 1, 2012 6:11 AM EST reply actions  

Gurks only had one post

Is he tanking to secure more ping pongs balls in the DBB draft?

My blogs: pakagankarachi.livejournal.com (dormant)
burmahunkalove.livejournal.com (occasional signs of life)

by MrHappyMushroom on Feb 1, 2012 6:29 AM EST reply actions   1 recs

YES!

In all seriousness, the truth is I was watching the season premier of Sherlock and the Pistons game at the same time.

"With logic he attacks. With statistics he defends."

@brgulker

by brgulker on Feb 1, 2012 10:04 AM EST up reply actions  

IIRC, Monroe had 11 points at the end of the first quarter

And he wound up with 13 total? Seriously?

Also, while I love Jonas for his playing ability and rugged good looks in the same ambiguous combination as everyone else here, 9 of those 15 points were scored in complete garbage time — the last several minutes of the fourth quarter (and many on FTs when the Knicks scrubs were fouling him). Yes, I think he should have played more, but Monroe’s 11 in the first quarter were more telling.

by Toledo Joe on Feb 1, 2012 8:24 AM EST reply actions   1 recs

"With logic he attacks. With statistics he defends."

@brgulker

by brgulker on Feb 1, 2012 10:05 AM EST up reply actions  

Yes, I’m sure everyone is counting on Prince and Stuckey to save them.

by Birdman84 on Feb 1, 2012 10:56 AM EST up reply actions  

This team is approaching unwatchable. For whatever reason, JJ’s not getting enough minutes (more minutes for Wilkins than JJ? LFIAFI), and JJ and Moose are the only things that keep me coming back for more.

Screw you, Joe Dumars.

"With logic he attacks. With statistics he defends."

@brgulker

by brgulker on Feb 1, 2012 10:07 AM EST reply actions  

Honestly, I thought about watching last night’s game but I decided not to, to preserve my mental health. I played Lego Harry Potter instead.

by Birdman84 on Feb 1, 2012 10:25 AM EST up reply actions  

To me it's all about the game threads. Plus, occasionally they win & spoil it for another team. That's fun.

That goddamn Okra and beans got you Oprah in jeans. Seems to me a little lean cuisine, wouldn't hurt much- Agh don't touch! -Obie Trice

Discount Double Choke, 2011 Packers.

by Skylar on Feb 1, 2012 12:42 PM EST up reply actions  

I haven’t gotten too far myself (just finished Book One), so I don’t know too much. I’ve enjoyed using Ron instead of Harry a lot of the time. It makes it feel like Harry’s not the hero, just the guy that everyone else bails out of trouble.

by Birdman84 on Feb 1, 2012 1:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

does anyone, anyone have a remotely legit reason why JJ is behind Russell, Maxiell and Wilkins on the pecking order? If CV and Gordon were playing, would he even get off the bench?

by RedHopeful on Feb 1, 2012 10:56 AM EST up reply actions  

The only thing I can think of is Frank not liking Jerebko’s defense.

by Birdman84 on Feb 1, 2012 11:00 AM EST up reply actions  

Well, maybe Frank should play his two best defenders at their natural positions.

by Grant E. on Feb 1, 2012 11:23 AM EST up reply actions  

But Tayshaun already plays small forward!

by Birdman84 on Feb 1, 2012 11:51 AM EST up reply actions  

Hermione

Hot as a lego?

I wrote a book about time travel. Buy it and/or die. http://www.thetimetravelguide.com

by heWizard on Feb 1, 2012 1:38 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Rec’d for reply fail.

by Birdman84 on Feb 1, 2012 1:52 PM EST up reply actions  

This is Hermione, right?

by garrettelliott on Feb 1, 2012 9:18 PM EST up reply actions  

Rec’d for less eyebrows.

/pedantry

by Colin M on Feb 1, 2012 11:17 AM EST reply actions   1 recs

Awesome. I love the Unibrowbros.

I rec’d you because it should be fewer eyebrows, although now you have me doubting whether it should be plural or not. Personally, I would go plural just because it sounds better. For example, nobody wants less ice cream, but pretty much everyone would like to have fewer cases of gonorrhea in their life. 10 items or less is a frequently misused phrase – it should be 10 items or fewer. You have my permission to berate your local grocer.

The above link has a bunch of absurdly specific and nuanced examples from the NYT. Highly recommended if you’re mindnumbingly bored.

by Colin M on Feb 1, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

well I'll be dipped in dogshit

embarrassingly, “less” was very automatic for me because I used “more” first and I was thinking of “more or less.”

The countable rule has always been dubious to me, though. Like, what if you can’t really count how many doughnuts you should cut back on? You know you shouldn’t eat as many (much?), but you can’t itemize it. This person I’m talking about realllllly likes doughnuts. Also, if your intent is to drink fewer cups of coffee, but you don’t want to say “cups of,” it doesn’t necessarily have to be put as ‘less coffee,’ right? Yeah, “fewer coffee” sounds stupid, I agree. But stillllll…oh dear, I’ve gone cross-eyed.

Anyway, thanks, MFCM

by Packey on Feb 1, 2012 8:02 PM EST up reply actions  

LMAO

Yeah, so I thought I understood the rule really well and then I read the NYT link and now I be all confused. Also, I think I could really go for a doughnut.

by Colin M on Feb 1, 2012 8:45 PM EST up reply actions  

If each hair above the eyes is an eyebrow (similar to how each hair is an eye lash), then fewer eyebrows would be correct, right?

If each segment of hair above each is is an eyebrow, and thus each person has two eyebrows, then I have no idea.

If, however, a unibrow is itself one entity, then it would not be less or fewer, but rather one or none – binary yes or no.

I’m totally BS’ing, BTW.

"With logic he attacks. With statistics he defends."

@brgulker

by brgulker on Feb 1, 2012 4:50 PM EST up reply actions  

Fire Joe Dumars

by Kriz on Feb 1, 2012 6:41 PM EST up reply actions  

that makes sense actually.

so we must dig deeper and discover what exactly constitutes an eyebrow?

The eyebrow itself is the region of the human brow right over the eye and the hair(s) encompassing them. However, the region directly over the nose does not qualify as part of the eyebrows. So given what some quick research (wikipedia) has turned up, the “unibrow” in itself is a non-existent entity in an anatomical sense. Therefore I can ascertain that our man does not need fewer eyebrow, but few hairs between the two existing ones.

And honestly, I’m typing this with a .gif of a guys head exploding and under normal circumstances I could care less, but after this length of time it’s making me queasy. Of course that could be the cheap Italian food mixed with the cheap whiskey.

by madpoopz on Feb 1, 2012 11:11 PM EST up reply actions  

so we must dig deeper and discover what exactly constitutes an eyebrow?

For Jonas!

"With logic he attacks. With statistics he defends."

@brgulker

by brgulker on Feb 2, 2012 10:29 AM EST up reply actions  

Boourns had some great stats last night.

And it looks like he made about half of our shots last night.

"Go shitty team, go" -Kriz

by BandWagonerPaysTheDues on Feb 1, 2012 12:24 PM EST reply actions  

To be fair

Most of that was in garbage time.

by JoeDip on Feb 1, 2012 2:16 PM EST up reply actions  

It really irritates the mind hearing those words about ball stopping from Tayshaun.

Hmmm how about just give it Monroe in the post instead of looking him off every time.

by Rban on Feb 1, 2012 1:19 PM EST reply actions  

New levels of Buffoonery
Stuckey and Prince say the ball is not moving

The guys most responsible for the lack of ball movement complain that the ball isn’t moving.

Granted, we could have a chicken/egg situation here. Prince also complains that no-one is moving without the ball, leaving him to “save” the team (WRETCH).

So… is the lack of ball movement because no one believes Prince or Stuckey will pass the ball regardless of how many circles they run around the court, or do Prince and Stuckey never pass the ball because nobody is moving without the ball (save Jonas)?

by Big Z in Orlando on Feb 1, 2012 1:44 PM EST reply actions  

TPIAFI!

Dude I literally heard him yell out ISO a few times this season (most recently during the Bucks game). It pisses me off that he would suggest that it is anyone else’s fault but his own. I mean really, did he even watch the team when they played without him? It was an entirely different squad out there. And for them to immediately revert to playing iso-style garbage ball upon his return, indicates that the former 5th wheel is an extreme detriment to the ’stones. You little entitled piece of shit. Fuck veteran leadership, this cancer needs to be eradicated from the locker room immediately!

-I’m done

by bluedogg on Feb 1, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Tayshaun should only be allowed to call “ISO” when Kyle Korver is guarding him.

by Birdman84 on Feb 1, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

You

were not kidding about the upchuck.

“But you can’t not let those guys not go out and play their game.

Holy triple negative!

by JoeDip on Feb 1, 2012 2:21 PM EST reply actions  


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