[Author's Note: Yes, I am fully aware that all Electric Bugaloos are part 2s, but ... this time, it's personal. Welp, now, that all that pesky credibility is out of the way, let's finish up this list, shall we?]
Happy Fourth of July! And thank you for reading this, the final article in a (surprisingly) three-part series on The 2013 Detroit Pistons Offseason Hit List (DPOHL), my answer to that nagging question, "Well, if everyone Joe wants sucks, who would YOU want to add to the the team?"
What you are reading is Part 3. If you have not read them already, you should read the other two parts first:
Those will get you familiar with what the heck is going on. Study up, then come on back. For reference:
- Starting PG
- Starting SF
- Backup PG
- Backup PF
- Backup SF
- Backup C
- Third SG
Before we bring these proceedings to a close, a bit of business; there are two reasons the photo of the distinguished gentleman in red, white, and blue is at the top of this article:
- I'm a patriot, damn your eyes! I have a bucket of KFC grilled chicken in the refrigerator right now that I am going to eat for breakfast like a blessed God-fearing American, and then, I'm going to whistle damn Dixie while I admire our great nation's colors, because that's how I get down for our Independence Day! Now, go punch an alien, like your grandpa did back in WWIII!
- This important news was brought to my attention in the comments previously, prompting me to change my take on the Los Angeles Clippers section of The DPOHL. So, I hearby declare that, should you good people allow me to waste your time doing this again, I will allow for one such reader-comment-prompted mulligan every year to add one of your ideas that is better than mine (but that won't change all of my crappy ideas so it at least looks like this crap is worth reading).
Run-on sentence much? What I'm saying is:
Los Angeles Clippers (revised)
- RPT3: Chauncey Billups: Ultimate PG. Consummate pro. NBA mayor. Pistons Legend. If he wants the job, welcome home to the perfect fit to mentor Siva and properly transition this entire young team into its next phase - especially if 'Sheed joins the coaching staff - while giving them great help on the court.
And now, finally, the conclusion of:
The Hit List (pt. III)
- RPT6: Andrea Bargnani: The man that you love to hate. And, I can't justify this. No one can. I just believe, completely irrationally, that there is a center who can shoot threes somewhere in there. Am I just a Dolan? Even his highlight videos stop trying; but, could he bring it all together backing up two legit talents in Drumroe?
- RPT3: Reggie Jackson: Nice young supplier of hope whom OKC would only give up as part of a bigger deal
- RPT5: Perry Jones: Mad potential
- RPT7: Jeremy Lamb: Madder potentialer
- RPT1: Beno Udrih: He's no Jose, but could placehold with a history of giving good work to hard-luck franchises
- RPT2: Thaddeus Young: Led the team in WS but pricey now (they want Wiggins, not wins); was a respectable 34%+ shooter behind the arc before being introduced to the Doug Collins "long twos and lose" system; at age 25 (with 6 yrs of NBA experience - yeesh), could emerge here as a star
- RPT5: Dorell Wright: Pretty much the above, but significantly less - but not bad
- RPT6: Spencer Hawes: Oh, hey, look! It's cheaper, younger Andrea Bargnani! Do it!
- RPT1: Goran Dragic. Might form some sort of dynamic Yugo-duo with Beno Udrih; super-underrated, and probably not in the future plans now that Bledsoe is in town - but who knows what the Phoenix "brain trust" is thinking from moment to moment? [Author's note: My condolences to the good people at our sister site, Bright Side Of The Sun; there but for the grace of Gores go we all. Imagine if William Clay Ford bought the Pistons. It ain't pretty. Give 'em a shout some time just to let them know it gets better. Remember the George Irvine season.]
- RPT3: Kendall Marshall: Big PG who is improving; could grow with this team
- RPT4: Luis Scola: Could use a change of scenery; a lot of value as a third big
- RPT6: Marcin Gortat: Fire sale! Get your near-All-Star, Piston-brutalizing centers here - CHEAP!
- RPT7: Shannon Brown: Perfect 3rd SG, and every time Joe sees him, he could say this
- RPT4: JJ Hickson: Performed above his pay grade - his trend when he's not in Sacramento
- RPT7: Elliot Williams: High character; high skill-level; hard worker
- RPTX: No, Portlandians, while you're trolling the NBA, we're not giving you Greg Monroe for LaMarcus Aldridge. Kriz would go all Jet Li and ... *gulp*
- RPT3: Isaiah Thomas: The change-of-pace PG's change-of-pace PG; would correct a lot of spelling mistakes
- RPT4: Patrick Patterson: Young PF would be a nice building block
- RPT4: Jason Thompson: Long, vet PF whom I think would thrive outside of the Sactown Pit
- RPT5: Travis Outlaw: Long, vet SF who once thrived outside of the Sactown Pit - and the Nets
- RPT7: Marcus Thornton: Big Shot 2.0; I suggest one veggie Whopper for every clutch buzzer-beater
- RPT3: Gary Neal: Hmm, backup PG from the Spurs? That might work out (see The Yugo Duo)
- RPT6: DeJuan Blair: Productive for a fourth big man option offensively
- RPTX: Spooky Fact:The Spurs don't do highlights.
- RPT2: Rudy Gay: He does enough to live with his inefficiency since his destiny would be as a fourth or fifth option (Tayshaun+) on a great team; the coach who figures this out will be genius
- RPT3: Kyle Lowry: May need to settle things with Jose if they're pitted against each other again
- RPT5: Landry Fields: Athletic at 6' 7"as a hybrid SF/PF, might emerge with a more consistent role; right now, people just think he sucks
- RPT1: Trey Burke: There is a way this could work. (Or, for the more serious minded.)
- RPT2: Gordon Hayward: Probably has the most perfect game to complement Drumroe; well worth crossing The Knight Line ...
- RPT3: Randy Foye: ... Especially if we can sign someone who gives us at least what Foye gave them ...
- RPT7: Alec Burks: ... And if we could get Burks in the deal
- RPT4: Jan Vesely: Young enough to be a diamond in the rough? Wizards ineptitude could mean, "Yes."
- RPT5: Chris Singleton: Another possibe Wizards victim; could be retrievable
And, that does it!
Three days, and we're finally done with the 2013 DPOHL. Those are all the players I think the Pistons could bring in to improve the team in critical areas, with the current state of the team, over the course of this summer. If they bring in a couple of them, fantastic. Three or four? We may actually be looking at something pretty special going forward - namely a plan that will get us all back to where we want the Detroit Pistons to be in the long run: the NBA Finals.
Thank you all for your feed back so far, and I eagerly await your thoughts, feelings, and suggestions in the comments:
- What did you most agree with/disagree with?
- What trades do you think would get some of these players who are still under contract?
- Of the free agents, to whom would you want to see Joe offer a contract?
- Hey, Kriz, what did you think of me rebuffing those silly Blazer fans for trying to get Moose?