Much has been made of Kobe Bryant’s self-appointed “Mamba” nickname. . .
. . . so I’m little surprised that no one has brought this up:
Is it me, or is naming yourself after a female comic book villain not exactly the most intimidating thing you can do?
The rest of the profile gets better:
Strength Level: Black Mamba possesses the normal human strength of a woman of her age, height, and build who engages in moderate regular exercise.
Too bad I’m not funny like J.E. Skeets, or else I could have had some real fun with this. Instead, I’m just too confused to be witty.
Black Mamba [MarvelDirectory.com]
Thanks to Julie for sending the link.
Maybe Kobe thought his previous sexual endeavors qualified him as an Ex-Call Girl, now Mercenary.
Legal Status: Citizen of the United States with a criminal record
Yup. That’s Kobe.
Great find Julie/Matt. Hilarious!
Now that I think about it, this has Julie’s name all over it. Come on, Matt, give credit where it’s due. You got that lead from your girlfriend!
Read closer, Paddy: “Thanks to Julie for sending the link.” Credit has been given.
Anyways, I love how the artwork in the Kobe picture actually mirrors the artwork in the comic book picture with the snakes on either side of his head. Good stuff. Too bad the villain doesn’t wear black tights, too.
Don’t worry, Pat. He gave me credit at the end of the post. It’s the little things…
I thick kobe is the best basketball player.
DONT YOU KOBE HATERS HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR TIME, WHEN HAS YOUR FAVORITE PLAYER EVER GOTTEN CLOSE TO GETTING 81 POINT IN 1 GAME ALL WHILE BEING GUARDED BUY AT LEAST 2 OR 3 PLAYERS!!!!! YOU HATERS NEED A LIFE!!!!!!!!!! AINT HIS FAULT U AINT A GOT A PLAYER AS GOOD AS HIM ON YOUR SQUAD!
P.S DETROIT PISTONS SUCK THEYRE THRU!! MAYBE IN ANOTHER 14 YEARS THEY MIGHT GET ANOTHER ONE.WHEN WAS THEIR LAST ONE IN 1990 YUP IT TOOK EM 14 YEARS TO WIN AGGAIN. 3 CHAMPIONSHIPS IN THEIR WHOLE FRANCHISE KOBE HAS 3 ALONE WHAT PISTON U KNOW HAS 3 RINGS???? ANSWER… NONE!!!!!!!
you are right all these kobe haters should get alive i mean now that ben is gone the pistons might not even get another championship again…….who knows?
wahahaha you guys crack me up.
Yeah, yeah…if the faker faithfull really think the Pistons suck why they hell are they here?
Typical faker fans.They never know where they belong.&…oh yeah…clean up the grammar. You’re really killing me with the memories of 2nd grade & all that.Please stop that now.
Yeesh. methinks the mamba doth protest too much in calling the kettle black. not to mix quotes and idioms, but it seems like the laker fans were probably spending a little too much time on the computer if they managed to find this post from last year. And, if they found this little treasure by searching the internet using “mamba” then I can only say they got what Kobe deserved- a fun and silly article/blog post in response to a mock-worthy, ego-serving, self-made nick name. not to mention the post script is the epitome of what it is to be a hater. at least DBB was creative and funny, not boring and cliche.
Sooo…Kwame Brown/Chris Mihm, huh?
Good luck with that.
hey Julie, Matt & the DBB faithfull:
How about a sequel to Who Shot mambo where we REALLY make sure the snake witnesses his own demise?
Figures he’s take up the identity of a female call girl:
1)he wants to know how the ‘other half lives’ without asking Vanessa.
2)Didn’t those black tights that looked more gay-oh than Johnny Weir’s tights tip ANYBODY off?
So kobe is still the best And his new nickname is Mr. 81
Stupids
The only reason laker fans are here is to make sure you sorry piston fans sit like doggies and don’t kill on kobe
Speaking of sitting like doggies….Kobe is a good name. for a dog.
As for why you are here….don’t you have your own fansites to patronize, like fakerheathenbreathern.com or something?Sheesh.
I can think of a few worse things to do. I’m sure Kobe can too.
HAHAHAHHAHA.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. kobe is overrated. not even top 35 alltime. and after reading some of these posts i’ve concluded LA Fakers fans (or more specifically, kobe fans) are the dumbest people alive. HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
“Kobe is overrated”.
Huh? Are you an idiot? The guy scored 81 points. Michael Jordan didn’t do that in his career. Kobe also scored over 50 in four straight games. That’s something else that MJ didn’t do. Kobe also scored 62 in three quarters against the Mavericks last season. Nobody has ever done that besides Kobe. Perhaps Kobe isn’t overrated and perhaps you are just an idiot? Think about that.
oh just friggin’ lighten up. yeah the dog may be talented; but we’re gonna take your word for it that your’e not….an idiot?Right. & cayahoga falls never caught on fire.
& how does hogging it like a dog make a team?What is talent if it can’t lead a team?teach a team?of course…..considering the team in question which will be soon exiting the post season…..I’ll leave it there.The lakers are not…..the Pistons. Too bad for them. if they were, maybe they’d haver a chance against the Sun, instead of less than 7 & done.Like Miami this year.So much for laker alumni.
Oh…. just friggin’ lighten up. Yeah the dog may be talented…:
But we..PISTONS FANS….are gonna take your word for it that you are not….an idiot?
Right. & Cayahoga falls(sp?..I’m a Nor-Cali girrrl!) never caught on fire.
Explain to me….how does ‘hogging it’ like a dog make a team?What is talent if it can’t lead a team?Teach a team?Inspire a team?
The talent of an individual achievment motivates nothing if it’s just for itself.Way too selfish for my sports book.Remember when MJ was accused of selfishness he tried his best to remedy his critics. He found a way to trust in the talents that his teammates could offer.Where is that with the current laker squad?Even with Kareem schooling Bynem, George Mikan is not in the building. Perdoneme.
Of course…..considering the team in question which will be soon exiting the post season…..I’ll leave it there.
The only way the lakers can take it to 7 is with Kobe hogging it like Thanksgiving & depriving the starving of their turkey dinner.So much for the 81 points. Meaningless if there is no inspiration behind it.
The lakers are not…..the Pistons. Too bad for them. If they were; maybe they’d have a chance against the Suns, instead of less than 7 & done.Like Miami this year.So much for laker alumni.Better luck…. next year?
Man yall are dumbasses his nickname is based off the most deadliest snake in africa not a woman.
Really?…Forgive me for saying so but where was that africa-aspect against the Suns in the first round?
If the deadly snake produces mediocre results what then?
(the hombre el negro mambo…. vs. da muher…….)
Or….. women in general…seems to be a continous drama.
So please shuttup.I’m tired of your dicotomies.
Just like I’m tired of the prospects of 2nd-string Faker coach prospects for the Sacramento Kings.What else you got?
You’ve got to be such a geek to think of a comic book when you think of a black mamba… Roger Mayweather even used “The Black Mamba” as his nickname during his days as a professional prizefighter…. anyway, all kobe-haters are going to be silenced this year… see you guys in the the finals (if you make it).