For our next Motor City Madness DVD giveaway, we’re asking you to come up with a haiku based upon the the Boys in Blue (see the rules of haiku, here).
Stay with me here…
A couple months ago, before the start of the NBA season, Matt had the amazingly original idea of doing an NBA preview all in haiku. I was giddy at the prospects of us writing such a post. But, as tends to happen when your major in college was “beer” (and both Matt and I can be counted as alumni of this illustrious program), the idea died on the vine.
Well, lo an behold, better bloggers than us had experienced a similar epiphany, and now haiku is everywhere. And if executed properly, it can be effing hilarious.
The following examples from MGoBlog (one of our favorite UofM blogs) were penned in honor of Michigan football’s David Harris (LB) and Lamarr Woodley (DE) — who in five short days will do their part in destroying the Ohio State football program on their own soiled Columbus turf, sending throngs of tearful, half-witted Buckeye faithful home questioning the power of their sweater-vested golden calf (Jim Tressel — he’s the one on the left, btw).
Ummm, sorry…I might be a little distracted this week. Anywhoo, back to those examples:
(on Harris)
On one of these days
You are going to kill someone
I’m okay with that
(on Woodley)
If you were to sack
A QB with eye lasers
Only mild surprise here
It is that simple, folks. Come up with an original Japanese poem about Flip or Nazr…Chauncey or Rip…Laimbeer or Mahorn…Sheed or David Stern; throw your entry up in the comments (remember, 5-7-5); and we’ll choose a winner by noon (EST) tomorrow.
Bonus points if you make me laugh or cry.
Senior Day haiku [MGoBlog]
Don’t just take our word for it [MZone]
I’ll throw one out there to stoke the fire…
Forgive me, please. But…
Do you know what happened to
Dee-troit Basketball?
I’m watching you, Stern
Sweet revenge falls oh so near
The white patch don’t lie!
Why couldn’t you try?
They gave up on you, Darko.
You were the future.
Flip Saunders’ arm fold
Pales in comparison to
Flip Saunders’ neck twitch
Mouth is frothy white.
Muscles scream at each beatdown.
Dale Davis, clubbing.
~~
Miami’s finest
Tazer Piston big man Dale
Sizzle, crackle, pop
~~
Jason Maxiell’s dunks
Make defenders look like chumps.
Throw it down, big man!
he gets many techs
and may miss a game or two
but won’t wear pink shirts
has mask but no ‘rows
no use for home barbershop
now needs pick…and roll.
Quit emulating
The football team known as Lions
I will watch hockey
Go Chauncey Billups
Mr. Smooth Operator
Show them what you got
Sheed will shut his mouth?
Utah is going to win the ’ship?
Darko a serbian gangsta?
Big Ben departed.
Mohammed started.
The Pistons farted.
top side ten foot - swish
base line twelve foot lean - swish
run rip run
Time for bench to rise
Jason Maxiell eats babies
Put the man in Flip
Down the lane, scoops, scores!
Count that baby and a foul!
George Blaha is God
He switched to new ball
because old ball did not lie
David Stern must die
The refs must be stopped
them cats are felonious
man, don’t tread on D
He added Sheed Rule
and hates Detroit Basketball
David Stern must die
Turnovers are up
Sheed’s techs are skyrocketing
New Ball and Stern Lie
Big Ben is a Bull
How long until he becomes
Rodman Number Two?
Yahoo! GameChannel
Is a little bitch. No way
They lost by that much!
Nazr vs. Ben
One shoots, one blocks. Ha ha! Both
Times I meant Nazr.
ESPN, why
do you not show Pistons games?
Oh yeah, ‘cuz they lose.
Suns play new style
Stern loves them but doesn’t see,
Pistons hit more threes.
And finally…..
This is my haiku
This line’s seven syllables
Pistons reference, yeah!
Danny Ferry tries
To make the Cavaliers play
DEEEEEE-TROIT BAS-KET-BAAALLLL!!!
This contest grows more
If you give me DVDs
Me Luv U Long Time
The Pistons have tripped
Bavetta won’t hear no lip
Let’s all blame the Flips
The Prince is the King!
Fell the need, the Need for Sheed!
Gay for Smooth and Rip…
What else can I say?
This is my last one, I swear
D rules! Screw Flanders.
oh the plastic mask
with it other teams you whip
oh amazing rip
Rip, Sheed, Chaunce, and Tay
It is time to start and play
restore pride today
what happened to defense?
which once set our team apart
and made us the champs
Edit my original one (5-7-5 syllables):
Big Ben departed.
Nazr Mohammed started.
The Pistons farted.
Ferocity rules
Terrorizing rims and nets
Free the Brahma Bull
~~
Coach Porter, Cowens
and Saunders scowl in disgust
Technical losses
~~
Deadly latin ninja
Delfino wants your minutes
Danger Tayshaun Prince
Figuring out how
To work Fennis Dembo in
A haiku is hard.
Just forget the fro
mehmet, darko, arroyo
bring back Mikki Mo’
Lets all just calm down,
The Pistons future is set
Remember Cheick Samb
Maxiell, Acker, Samb
Blalock and Amir Johnson…
Budding Dynasty
Where patience falters,
in the shadow of the Fro–
True fans’ faith remains.
—
Inhale. Exhale. Aim.
Dribble, Dribble, Once to Right,
Crouch, Shoot– count that point.
–
League in confusion,
New ball, new regulation–
My heart is red and blue.
Tay scores 40 per
Amir Johnson is 8′5″
Our year is 09
Amir is 8′5″
We call him Ocho Cinco
Best player ever
Mortals fear Lou Roe.
The name, translated in Dutch
“Triumph”…or “fish eggs.”
Oh my god, some Pistons fans are acting really crazy after Pistons lost to the Warriors around 30 points on 11/11. Yes, the 3-4 record is not acceptable, but it Does Not The End Of The World for the Pistons ok !!!!!! Just think about what happened with the Maimi Heat last season. Did they have the good start ? No. Matter fact, they were terrible in the first half of the season last year. But what did they get in the end ? A Championship !!!!!! How about our Pistons ? Ok, they got 64 wins in the regular season but they did not even make the nba final trip at all. Do you want that happen again ? I don’t think so. To be honest with you guys, I don’t really care how many wins they have this season, as long as they make the playoff even the 8th seed is fine. Remember, a good regular season record does not mean a team will have a good playoff period. However, if the couple losses would point out the weakness of the team during the regular season, I would love to go that because that mean this team will try to correct their mistakes during the rest of the season and they will also be ready for the playoff. We all know what the Pistons weakness are and I am sure the team itself know as well. We have to be patient and wait for their reactions for the next 75 games. I am sure they will find the solutions for their problems and be ready for the playoff at same time !!!!!! I also want to say to the fans here : Joe Dumars will not “Fire Who Trade Who” by just looking at the first 7 games of the season ok !! He needs to take time and envaluate the team before he decides to do so, so it’s not an easy job for him either !!
Games are hard to watch
Reggie Evans grabbed my crotch
Technicals no more
Feel the Need For ‘Sheed.
Same old refs, some things never change.
Get Ra on the block
Zeke Lambs and Ricky
Make Larry and Michael cry
Stern: no more bad boys
Icy Isiah Steals
Magic LA Carpet Ride
No more Jump ball kiss
How can no one say
Thank God for Mr. D? Why?
Cause he fired Zeke.
Via email from Poland, DBB reader Ken S. sends in four submissions:
Be Brave, Boys in Blue,
‘Sheed Rule and Ben defection
Shall be overcome
Like kite without String
Rise and lead, co-captain;
T.P., time to shine!
Enough sandbagging
They’re underestimatin’
Time To Go To Work!
Upwards and Onwards -
There is One Call for Us All,
Detroit Basketball!!!
Is this too creepy?
My dog’s name is Chauncey B.
Other dog-Hamilton.
Poor Coach Isiah
Knicks still suck; now Thomas is
New type of “bad boy.”
Bad Boys where are you?
I remember entire crew.
Oh, Ricks at Borders.
1988-9
NBA Championship
Bad Boys we love you
Another submission via email from DBB reader Brady W:
The Bad Boys in Red
Need to start playing defense
‘Fore my TV breaks
That’s all, folks.
Once again, thanks for participating. This has been one of the most humorous threads we’ve had yet on DBB, and we’ve got our work cut out for us in identifying a winner.
Look for an announcement shortly.
–The Mgmt.