Archive for the 'Puff Pieces' Category

Arron Afflalo works harder than you

Published by Matt Watson on January 7, 2008 in Puff Pieces. 37 Comments

What time did you get to work today? Nine o’clock? Chances are Arron Afflalo had you beat by an hour and a half. From Joanne Gerstner of the Detroit News:

He gets up at 6:30 a.m., something he’s done since arriving at Pistons training camp early last fall. By 7:30 a.m., he’s at the Pistons practice facility to work out and practice shooting.

Never mind that the official team practice usually doesn’t start until 10:30 a.m.

Or that it’s an off-day, and Afflalo could stay home.

“That’s just the way I’ve always been; I like to get up early and head off to practice,” said Afflalo, 22. “It just feels good, because I like working hard and making myself better. Being in the gym is actually a pretty peaceful place for me. It’s going to the office and getting my work done.”

It’s no act — his teammates have been praising his intensity for months, and Flip Saunders has called him one of the hardest workers he’s ever coached. His playing time has been cut lately due to Rodney Stuckey’s emergence, but I’ve seen enough to predict with confidence that Afflalo will have a very long career in this league.

Dre Bly can’t beat Dale Davis in a three-point contest

Published by Matt Watson on May 14, 2007 in Puff Pieces. 3 Comments

It’s silly and certainly not news, but it made me chuckle — Dre Bly was back in town visiting the Pistons practice Monday:

Bly, who brought his two sons, chummed with Billups and Rasheed Wallace for a while before he took the floor. He wanted to challenge someone — but not anyone — to a shooting contest.

“He don’t want me,” Billups said. “He’s calling out Dale Davis.”

Davis answered. After a tough three-on-three game with fellow reserve, Davis, not exactly known for his shooting, strolled to the other end of the floor and promptly beat Bly twice in a row, shooting NBA three-pointers while Bly fired from the college line.

Afterward, Davis informed everyone in the room, “This is what I do!”

Why can’t we see this stuff on tape like they do in D.C.?

OK, Lindsey Hunter likes The Cheesecake Factory, we get it

Published by Matt Watson on April 26, 2007 in Around the Internets, Puff Pieces and Videos. 3 Comments

Does Lindsey Hunter have an endorsement deal with The Cheesecake Factory? Because he deserves one. Seems like every place I look today he’s there talking about it. From Pistons.com:

“There’s no Cheesecake Factory here, so that’s the biggest thing,” Hunter said Wednesday by way of explaining his team’s success away from home before the Pistons hit the road for Thursday night’s Game 3 of their first-round playoff series with the Orlando Magic, who trail 2-0. “Go on the road and find a Cheesecake Factory and we’re comfortable.”

From Detroit News:

Lindsey Hunter has a particular reason why he likes venturing out of Metro Detroit: The Cheesecake Factory.

Hunter is a huge fan of the chain restaurant, which has locations seemingly everywhere around the country but Metro Detroit.

Orlando has a Cheesecake Factory, and Hunter already has made plans on where he’s dining on this trip.

“That’s the biggest thing if we’re on the road, I’ve got to find a Cheesecake Factory,” Hunter said.

From the Detroit Free Press:

“We don’t actually eat the cheesecake,” Hunter said. “It’s just the food — and the strawberry lemonade.”

But not all Pistons are into the joint.

“Oh, wow, I’m not a part of that,” forward Tayshaun Prince said with a wide grin. “No, we do go out to eat together. We particularly try to not let Lindsey pick the place, because he will choose the Cheesecake Factory.”

OK, we get it. He likes The Cheesecake Factory. And so does this guy, apparently:

DBB on Bill Simmons… sorta

Published by Ian Cameron on December 28, 2006 in Alley-Oops, Around the Internets and Puff Pieces. 0 Comments

You all know about my Rocky affliction by now, right? So I don’t feel to self-serving in pointing out my random appearance in the reader email addendum to Bill Simmons’ latest column on the Italian Stallion.

Takin’ his game to the next level

Published by Ian Cameron on July 18, 2006 in Around the Internets and Puff Pieces. 3 Comments

Apparently, Sheed is big in Vegas too.

Natalie over at Need4Sheed recently noticed that SLAM Online used the word “Sheed-tastic” (a word she coined on her site) in an article describing a Sheed appearance in Las Vegas during the Summer League. But while SLAM’s use of the word is a testament to Natalie’s internet reach, we think she may have missed the real story of the article, namely Sheed’s adherence to the Vegas nightlife (if not its dress code). Check out this eye-witness account.

But on the last night, one of the guys we were with went crazy on the craps table and decided to treat all of us to a night out…at the strip club…at 6 in the morning. (Hey, it makes sense in Vegas — don’t judge me.)

As we were there enjoying the scenery and friendly service, an extremely tall dude wanders in with one of the security guards helping him through the crowd. One of my boys immediately screams about how that’s definitely a basketball player. To prove that not all tall black men are basketball players, I strolled over near the bar where tall dude was standing. Chilling in gym shorts, a t-shirt, and a really low, black baseball hat, was Rasheed Wallace. I’ve never been happier to be wrong about something in my life. Minutes later, he was escorted to the back and most of the more attractive ladies appeared to be gone for the night.

I’ve always loved ‘Sheed, but now, the man is a legend to me.

Strong.

Sheed-tastic [SLAM]
Even Slam Thinks Rasheed is Sheedtastic [Need4Sheed]

Detroit Pistons = Ten Sport Idiots

Published by Matt Watson on May 29, 2006 in Around the Internets and Puff Pieces. 3 Comments

No, that’s not me making some kind of judgement about the team and their current “issues” — it’s actually an anagram. Enter a word or a phrase into the text box at Sternest MeaningsSternest Meanings = Instant Messenger and it returns an anagram. Let’s take a look at the rest of the team (and mind you, this isn’t me talking, it’s the computer):

Antonio McDyess = Moody instances
Perhaps referring to that instance after Game 5 of the Cleveland series.

Sidney Lowe = Solid weeny
Come on, now, that’s just mean.

Ben Wallace = Blew a clean
I’d hope so! The last thing this team needs now is someone getting a DUI.

Carlos Delfino = Social fondler
Hey now! That’s a little more info than I was looking for!

Chauncey Billups = Cynical, lush pube
I don’t like the direction this is going…

Rip Hamilton = Patrol in him
Well, it doesn’t actually make sense, but he is always moving/patrolling the court.

Tayshaun Prince = Puniest anarchy
He is the skinniest guy on the court, and when he’s chasing down a fast break all hell breaks loose.

Sheed Wallace = Ace swellhead
Hmm….

Flip Saunders = Plunders as if
Plunders as if what? Don’t leave us hanging! How about . . .

Head coach Flip Saunders = Phase scornful acid-head
That’s untrue. Flip seems like a kind man, and not the type that would turn to drugs.

    Alright, let’s take a look at the Miami Heat:

Gary Payton = Party agony
You got that? If you’re planning a party, just leave the Glove off the invitation list.

Pat Riley = Real pity
It certainly will be, losing two Eastern Conference Finals in a row…

Shaquille O’Neal = Squeal in a hello
He never seemed like the type of guy that squeled, but I guess you never know.

Zo Mourning = Run on gizmo
I didn’t know he was such a Gremlins fan, but I found the perfect t-shirt for him.


    Let’s take a look around the NBA:

Darko Milicic = Acidic or milk
Either way, his stay in Detroit left a bad taste in our mouths.

LeBron James = Jeer man slob
Maybe because he wears that damn Yankee hat everywhere…

Yao Ming = I’m agony
Interesting… have you ever seen him smile?

    How about some classic Bad Boys?

Isiah Thomas = I am a hot hiss

Joe Dumars = Used major

Bill Laimbeer = Balmier libel

Adrian Dantley = Neat and aridly

Dennis Rodman = Demon Innards
Sad but true…

John “Spider” Salley = Joyless philander

Chuck Daly = Lucky Chad

    And last but not least…

Detroit Bad Boys = Tidy to absorbed

Matthew Watson = That west woman
Blah blah blah, it’s obviously just nonsense.

Ian Cameron = Necromania
Yikes, maybe I need to talk to him about that.

    From the “they can’t all make sense” category:

Lindsey Hunter = Thundery lines
Dale Davis = Avid deals
Tony Delk = Dent yolk
Kelvin Cato = Native lock
Jason Maxiell = Lax male joins
Alex Acker = Cake relax
Amir Johnson = Harm on joins

I’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg — head over to Sternest Meanings and see what you can find, and tell us in the comments.

Jake Gone Wild!

Published by Matt Watson on May 9, 2006 in Around the Internets and Puff Pieces. 10 Comments

So yeah, Jake the Dancing Kid.

I wasn’t planning on touching that article since I have mixed feelings about the whole thing, but now I don’t have to — YAYsports! did for me.

I know Jake the Dancing Kid is supposed to be cute, and I’m sure he brings the house down when he appears on PalaceVision, but the whole thing just strikes me as a little (pick one: odd/disturbing/weird/creepy). Skewer me if you want, but comments like these don’t help:

“A lot of people got on TV taking off their shirt,” Jacob said. “I thought, ‘I go to all the games; maybe they would show me a lot.’ ”

An idea was born, crystallized and put into action.

At some point, usually during the third or fourth quarter, Jacob removes his shirt, starts dancing, sometimes swinging the shirt, and the crowd roars for more.

Jacob came to the conclusion that fans get the most face time on the big screen in the second half, thus his reasoning for dancing later in the game.

It’s just all seems a little too calculated. I can’t fault the kid too much — he’s seven years old, remember — but it’s just a little depressing that he’s already found a way to game the system into turning him into a pseudo-celebrity.

He used to be just a novelty act at 4 Championship Drive, but now that his story has been splashed across the front page of the Detroit News, are we about to see a legion of copycats? I hope not. Maybe it’s me, but I think it’s time kids these days tried getting onto the big screen the old fashioned way, such as painting their faces or wearing big Afro wigs.

[Edit — here’s the little guy in action, courtesy of Need 4 Sheed]

1st-grader dances way to stardom at Pistons home games [Detroit News]
Jake the Dancing Kid is talking trash [YAYsports!]

Carlos Delfino habla Español

Published by Ian Cameron on April 12, 2006 in Puff Pieces. 2 Comments

So you thought we were done with the Carlos Delfino threads for a while, huh? You thought his up and down play of late would quiet our incessant cheerleading for #20? Not a chance… NBA en Español recently had Carlos create a series of captions for several humorous photos from around the league. Sounds like a great idea, right? There’s only one catch; the captions are entirely in Spanish. (We’re told that we should have known that, considering that it was done for NBA en Español.)

Anyways, manual translation is bound to tax our rather mediocre undergraduate foreign language skillz. So, rather than subject you to our butchering of the language, we’ve decided to rely upon one of those online Spanish to English translation machines to provide a few of Carlos’ captions to you in English. Those things are about 100% accurrate, right? (Of course they are!) Here goes…

Carlos frowns upon poor grooming habits.

“I see a great friend fighting by the ball… but honestly both they need to visit the peluquero and Pau to the barber”

Heh…see there, it worked. He’s clearly making fun of Pau Gasol’s lumberjack motif. Good on ya, Carlos! (We’ll give our master translation machine a bit of a pass for missing peluquero, which my good friend who speaks the language explained to me means “male hairdresser”.)

He is so deep.

“‘ Sheed’ is a type that everybody thinks that he is crazy but she is a great person, is very but very intelligent, much more who very many people. He is shining. The first time which I saw with that belt it seemed to me something unusual and it was the first time that personally saw one of boxing champion. He is something very original and since then several players also use it.”

Sheed is very intelligent. Sheed is shining. Sheed has a championship belt. But what’s this “she” stuff Carlos? You had better watch that…

Style is everything.

“a style Is everything… these glasses used them once more… does not seem very fashionable and that but did not work to him. Hardly the party began did not see a pair of balls that happened to him, all we were ed ***reflx mng in the bank because it wanted to see itself well, obtained it but it did not see anything with them… ”

See, Carlos is our kinda guy. “style Is everything” — even with caps to emphasize the “is”. We can tell this one is going to be a good one. Like when he says “Hardly the party began did not see a pair of…” Whoa…that took a turn for the weird, didn’t it? Moving on… (quickly)

Bare Manu? What tha...

“It seems a great player of rugby… but I recognized it, that it is bare Manu by which is remaining and by the great nose… soon it will look oneself like Zidane…”

We’re all over the map here. I get the rugby thing — he’s running with the ball — but you could have scored some cool points with the Detroit fans, Carlos, by calling him a “football player”. We don’t really get rugby here. Anyways, he then mentions Zidane, whom I am almost positive is a highly regarded soccer player in Europe. I guess this comparison would be quite complimentary to Manu then. (Don’t fall victim to his wily charms, Carlos. Don’t do it!) Then there’s this “bare Manu” and “great nose” stuff… Um, again, moving on…

Sheed can see the future.

“Here it seems as if Rasheed was watching the future in a crystal ball… hopefully that that future is with a ring of the NBA.”

Ah, okay. I think we’re back on track now (whew). Remember folks, even though Carlos was drafted with Darko in ‘03, he played in Europe his first season (the championship season), and was left off the playoff roster last year. This postseason will be his first taste of playoff basketball, and hopefully, as he says, it’ll end with a “ring of the NBA” for him.

So what have we learned from this exercise? Based upon our online translator, Carlos Delfino is either a really funny guy…or he’s a bit of a weirdo. We’ll let you decide. Seriously though, it’s good to see that he has taken to being a Piston after a rough rookie year under Larry Brown. Again, despite his inconsistent play of late, we still think he’s going to be great…whether he continues to obsess over Manu’s nose or not.

For more photos and awkwardly translated captions, check out the completely translated page.

El ojo crítico de Carlos Delfino [NBA.com]
Babel Fish Translation [Alta Vista]

“That Dude got Tayshaun’d”

Published by Ian Cameron on April 11, 2006 in Puff Pieces. 8 Comments

Getting Tayshauned!You know how it goes. One day you wake up and everyone is suddenly using your name as a part of speech other than the ‘proper noun’? They say things like “That was just about the most Ian movie I’ve ever seen!”…or, “I really Ian’d that test today.”…or, “Don’t make me get all Ian Cameron on your ass!”

(Yeah, so that obviously never happens to me.)

But Tayshaun Prince knows what this phenomenon feels like. According to UrbanDictionary.com, the words “Tayshaun Prince” now mean so much more than just the lanky, 6’9” small forward for the Boys in Blue. And it all came to be as a result of Tay’s dramatic, game-saving block of Reggie Miller’s layup in Game 2 of the 2004 Eastern Conference Finals against the Pacers.
[Note: Tay’s block against the Pacers is the last shown in the linked Tayshaun highlight video, but the entire video is worthwhile. Watch for Tay’s moves on Ginobili, Lebron, and AI, amongst others.]

Check out the following definitions for Tay Tay, posted by Urban Dictionary:

1. Tayshaun Prince: When you think you have a chance at scoring only to get rejected in the end.

Man: Hey, do you want to go out?
Woman: No thanks.

Random Guy: Holy sh*t.
Random Dude: That dude got Tayshaun’d.

2. Tayshaun Prince: When something comes out of nowhere to completely change everything

John thought he was going to hook up with the girl until some other dude Tayshauned her away.

5. Tayshaun Prince: the best player currently in the nba…. he could reach his toes w/o even bending down….cuz he has like a 10 ft wingspan…he is the best player ever - even better than michael jordan or jannero pargo

Tayshaun Prince is better than Jason Richardson

Tayshaun Prince is better than Kirk Hinrich

Okay, so that last one was included solely for its mention of Jannero Pargo, which I found humorous, but I kid you not — those first two entries were approved by a 74-11 margin by the Urban Dictionary voters (11 of whom are obviously Pacer fans). It must be quite the ego boost to reach verb status in the English language.

Here’s a few of our own NBA-inspired dictionary entries:

Manu Ginobili: increasingly overrated and annoying, mostly because of praise disproportionate to overall abilities

Random Girl: That Ashley Simpson chick is really getting on my nerves lately. What has she ever done anyway?
Another Random Girl: Yeah, she’s so Manu Ginobili, it’s not even funny.

Vince Carter: forcibly effecting a desired outcome through mediocrity/inaction; see also “Alonzo Mourning”

In an effort to gain release from his recording contract with Warner Bros., Prince proceeded to Vince Carter the final few albums so that they would grant him his release.

Ron Artest: F’n crazy

“Sorry I got a little Ron Artest on you last night, but it was just really difficult to see the two of you together. It’s fine though, it’s fine…it’s just that…well, I’m having a hard time getting over “us”, you know. And, well, I just don’t understand what I ever did to you to deserve this. Why are you doing this to me! I hate you! I hate that I love you!”

Got another suggestion? Let us know…

Tayshaun Prince [Urban Dictionary]

How do you split nothing?

Published by Matt Watson on April 4, 2006 in Alley-Oops, Around the Internets and Puff Pieces. 0 Comments

We’ve pointed out before how Tony Delk and team mascot Hooper both wear No. 00. The folks at Pistons.com caught up with Delk and Hooper to see how they feel about sharing (umm, yes, this is an interview with a talking horse):

“I can understand that Tony wants to be just like me, but I had number #00 first,” Hooper said. “I thought about challenging him to an arm-wrestling match for it…but then I remembered he’s a lot bigger than me. So, I guess we’ll just have to share. Hey Tony, how about you take one zero, and I’ll take the other. I’ll split it with you 50/50! Although, how do you split nothing?”

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