clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

FreeDarko on Darko’s freedom

New, comments

FOXSports.com's Peter Schrager caught up with Bethlehem Shoals of FreeDarko fame -- the result is a meandering Q&A that occasionally stayed on the topic of basketball but often strayed in the direction of, well, the strange:

PS: It's almost Oscar season. If Darko were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? Who are his co-stars? What is it called?

Shoals: A comedic love story in two parts. The first part: Darko, big-time, self-absorbed ballplayer with innards of shyness, falls for middle-aged schoolteacher (Angela Bassett) working with underprivileged kids. He learns the power of charity and the fruitfulness of total surrender. NOTE: He can only speak his native language, except for when he dresses up in a seven-foot tall corn-on-the-cob costume, which gives him a rudimentary command of only the most emotionally-charged words we have. Second part: Newly engaged, Darko and his femme journey to his homeland to ask for his extended family's blessings. She is kidnapped by roving Ukrainian gangsters (cast of the Russian film 'Brother'). Darko springs into action and spends a blistering hour trying to save her and/or send her corpse out to sea in a burning boat, since she loves Vikings. He is joined on this caper by his diminutive sidekick, a mercenary international basketball scout played by Topher Grace. I don't want to give away the ending, but the title would.

Now that Darko's free, what's next for site? [FOXsports.com]