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Talking with Flip Saunders’ pet turtle

Flip Saunders\' pet turtle

The Mighty MJD, who covers sports from Bargnani to Bernardini, snagged an exclusive interview with, um, Flip Saunders' turtle:

But sometimes, I wish Flip would do and say more things. Please don’t tell him I said that, because Flip always says the most important thing is just that everyone is happy and quiet. But there was this one time when Manuel (that’s Flip’s German Shepherd, and he sure is nice) came in the house and started jumping around all crazy and stuff, and he knocked my terrarium over. I fell on the carpet, and Manuel picked me up in his mouth and almost ate me. Flip watched the whoooole thing happen. Manuel was about to kill and eat me, and Flip stood up, folded his arms, looked sternly at Manuel, and then went and made himself some french toast.

But that’s Flip for you. Sometimes, he just doesn’t care what’s going on around him. I think maybe deep down, Flip was scared that if he did yell at Manuel, Manuel would just get mad at him. Or maybe Flip really didn’t know what to say to Manuel. Maybe he really didn’t notice. I’m not sure. I ended up just peeing in Manuel’s mouth and he dropped me. Then the maid put me back in my terrarium and Manuel went and stole the french toast right out of Flip’s mouth. I suuuure do like the maid. She’s my friend.

A Letter From Flip Saunders’ Turtle [The Mighty MJD]