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Reasons To Get Drunk And Surly Tonight

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As if anyone needs a reason. The Pistons are on pace for 60 losses, give or take. That'll gitcha there.


How crazy was Paul Millsap's game last night? He entered the game with two career three pointers, and left the game with five, having hit all three en route to a 46 point performance.

To which, this speaks to the difficulty of winning 72 games in this league. In terms of point differential, the Heat are pretty close to the 1995-96 Bulls. But the Bulls played in a pretty top loaded league, with only seven teams topping the 50 win mark, versus 12 last season. There are 3-4 more teams that are likely to snatch a game.


Never mind all that, let's all start the panic about what's plaguing the Miami Heat. They blew a 22 point lead for crying out loud! Some really good NBA team spent an entire half building that lead. I do not know which one.

I need to read article after article about how a team with a +11 point differential is desperate for answers. Have they figured out how to incorporate Bosh into the offense? Is Wade being selfish? I need an analyst to validate my incoherent assumptions!

Oh, here we go.

This was published at two in the morning. 'Cause, you know, this Heat meltdown is urgent.

In summary, Dwyane Wade thought his team was playing the Celtics on Friday, as opposed to Thursday. So we don't know where the team's head is at. The Heat are mired in mediocrity, as evinced by the fact that their defense "allowed" Paul Millsap to hit three triples (after all, chasing a career 9% shooter all the way out to the perimeter is a good defensive strategy).

The money quote:

"And there might be no rebounding from this for the Heat."

Exactly what I was thinking. The Heat are screwed. Most teams never recover from early season losses. The Lakers won their early season OT games last year. They had swagger, and always had their upcoming schedule memorized.


If anyone is wondering why Mario Chalmers isn't getting PT, despite being the most talented PG on the roster, Spoelstra explains, per the Palm Beach Post:

"Mario's not in my doghouse. This is circumstantial,"

Really? Because players don't usually find themselves sitting on the bench for no...

"He was not ready physically to compete for the starting position during training camp and for the first game. Since then we've gotten into a rotation and this is what we're going with right now."

Um... Does Spoelstra know what "doghouse" means in this context? Like, it doesn't literally mean that Mario Chalmers is outside, in a small box meant for a dog. Rather, it refers to players who, by their own action or inaction, are deemed unfit, by and NBA coach, to be in the regular lineup. He knows that, right?


I'm worried about the Clippers. Not because they are playing poorly, or that I think they will play particularly well. I'm worried about Chris Kaman.

Once again, the presence of another big man in the rotation has demonstrated Kaman's big numbers to be an illusion. This time, the Clippers seem to be getting the joke. I'm convinced he's on the trading block, and, well, the Pistons have a gaping hole in the front court...

I'm worried about the Clippers.


And, just like that, the Chris Paul trade rumors have ceased. The nice thing about unsustainable starts (and this is one, unless you think Emeka Okafor is really a 73% shooter) is that, even after your team comes back to Earth, you get to keep the wins.

Between the hot start, and the addition of Trevor Ariza to shore up the defense, the Hornets suddenly look like a playoff team.


And, yeah, the reverse applies. The early season losses count, too. So raise your glass and thank God your not a Heat fan.