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Happy, Turnover-Free Holidays From DBB

Last year at D4L, I remixed "Twas the night before Christmas" and planned to do something similar this year geared toward the Pistons, but figured you, the esteemed commenters, could do a much, much better job (and I didn't have much time or internet access in Florida).

So, you can choose to do your worst with the lyrics of Holiday classics in the comments or not. Either way, happy and very safe holidays, everyone.