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We are all Celtics now: Miami-Boston game thread

Eat, drink, be merry, and bring your favorite conspiracy theories to the table as the referees, suddenly hyper-diligent about calling moving screens, stand idly by as LeBron takes 4.24 steps (on average) to the basket.

Tomorrow, work off that hangover with a trip to McDonalds for their new blueberry oatmeal. Nothing neutralizes painful acids, replenishes essential salts, and assuages that nagging shame like a McDonalds blueberry oatmeal*. Seriously, what are you going to eat, a Croissan'wich? That is way to damn many silent vowels. Screw you, Boirgheur Kehng.

Ten discussion topics:

1) Scott Machado would have his way with all these clowns, right?

2) Paul Pierce is running out of opportunities to validate his appearance on my overrated list.

3) Is Chris Bosh playing? Does anyone care? If he's not sobbing, he's dead to me.

4) My baby is deathly afraid of ceiling fans. That is freaking absurd.

5) How is it possible that Mike Miller on the Miami Heat isn't working out? Can anyone really blame the Heat for signing him? Dude should be averaging 15 ppg on 79% TS right now.

6) I just sorta feel bad for Marquis Daniels. He's trying out there, you guys. Ain't he the dickens?

7) Udonis Haslem should have made better life decisions.

8) I was thinking I should root for the Heat just so I have someone to root against in the NBA Finals...

9) Then I realized.

10) If any team could pull off dressing up as cats for an NBA game, it would be the Celtics. I would actually find that compelling.

* - Banned in New York City