The Hit List: Who The Pistons SHOULD Target (Pt III - The Final Chapter - Electric Boogaloo!)

Harry How

[Author's Note: Yes, I am fully aware that all Electric Bugaloos are part 2s, but ... this time, it's personal. Welp, now, that all that pesky credibility is out of the way, let's finish up this list, shall we?]

Happy Fourth of July! And thank you for reading this, the final article in a (surprisingly) three-part series on The 2013 Detroit Pistons Offseason Hit List (DPOHL), my answer to that nagging question, "Well, if everyone Joe wants sucks, who would YOU want to add to the the team?"

What you are reading is Part 3. If you have not read them already, you should read the other two parts first:

Read Part 1 Here.

Read Part 2 Here.

Those will get you familiar with what the heck is going on. Study up, then come on back. For reference:


  1. Starting PG
  2. Starting SF
  3. Backup PG
  4. Backup PF
  5. Backup SF
  6. Backup C
  7. Third SG

Before we bring these proceedings to a close, a bit of business; there are two reasons the photo of the distinguished gentleman in red, white, and blue is at the top of this article:

  1. I'm a patriot, damn your eyes! I have a bucket of KFC grilled chicken in the refrigerator right now that I am going to eat for breakfast like a blessed God-fearing American, and then, I'm going to whistle damn Dixie while I admire our great nation's colors, because that's how I get down for our Independence Day! Now, go punch an alien, like your grandpa did back in WWIII!
  2. This important news was brought to my attention in the comments previously, prompting me to change my take on the Los Angeles Clippers section of The DPOHL. So, I hearby declare that, should you good people allow me to waste your time doing this again, I will allow for one such reader-comment-prompted mulligan every year to add one of your ideas that is better than mine (but that won't change all of my crappy ideas so it at least looks like this crap is worth reading).

Run-on sentence much? What I'm saying is:

Los Angeles Clippers (revised)

And now, finally, the conclusion of:

The Hit List (pt. III)

New York Knicks

  • RPT6: Andrea Bargnani: The man that you love to hate. And, I can't justify this. No one can. I just believe, completely irrationally, that there is a center who can shoot threes somewhere in there. Am I just a Dolan? Even his highlight videos stop trying; but, could he bring it all together backing up two legit talents in Drumroe?

Oklahoma City Thunder

Orlando Magic

  • RPT1: Beno Udrih: He's no Jose, but could placehold with a history of giving good work to hard-luck franchises

Philadelphia Sixers

Phoenix Suns

Portland Trail Blazers

Sacramento Kings

San Antonio Spurs

  • RPT3: Gary Neal: Hmm, backup PG from the Spurs? That might work out (see The Yugo Duo)
  • RPT6: DeJuan Blair: Productive for a fourth big man option offensively
  • RPTX: Spooky Fact:The Spurs don't do highlights.

Toronto Raptors

Utah Jazz

Washington Wizards

And, that does it!

Three days, and we're finally done with the 2013 DPOHL. Those are all the players I think the Pistons could bring in to improve the team in critical areas, with the current state of the team, over the course of this summer. If they bring in a couple of them, fantastic. Three or four? We may actually be looking at something pretty special going forward - namely a plan that will get us all back to where we want the Detroit Pistons to be in the long run: the NBA Finals.

Thank you all for your feed back so far, and I eagerly await your thoughts, feelings, and suggestions in the comments:

  • What did you most agree with/disagree with?
  • What trades do you think would get some of these players who are still under contract?
  • Of the free agents, to whom would you want to see Joe offer a contract?
  • Hey, Kriz, what did you think of me rebuffing those silly Blazer fans for trying to get Moose?


Happy holiday, everbody!

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