/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/47557903/astral_lance.0.0.jpg)
In a development that many in the league are still wrapping their heads around today, photos taken and scrutinized from last year reveal that Lance Stephenson astrally projected in order to distract Andre Drummond while in the act of shooting free throws. The Charlotte Hornets, who signed the guard last season, refused to officially comment on the claim, instead calling it "ridiculous" and "utter ghost mumbo-jumbo".
A secret source close to Stephenson corroborated the story though, claiming that Stephenson told him that he had been studying the concept of astral projection, where the "astral body" separates itself from the physical body and is capable of traveling outside of it. "Lance saw how distracting his blowing in Lebron's ear was during the 2014 playoffs and decided it would be devastating if he could do that to anyone, anytime." The source told Detroit Bad Boys that Lance has been obsessed with the paranormal since he was told by a psychic in high school that he was a spiritual descendant of Alexander the Great, who ascended to the throne at the tender age of 20. Knowledge of this was said to greatly influence Stephenson's burgeoning confidence and lead to his self-coined nickname, "Born Ready". His increasing spiral into obsession coincides not only with Andre Drummond's shockingly poor free throw shooting but also with Stephenson's sharp drop off in production on the basketball court last season. In a quote our source said of Stephenson, "The reason he seemed distracted on the court last season was because he literally wasn't there."
Close-up of photo taken with special imaging cameras at The Palace
Last year while wanting to get to the bottom of strange goings on which included the free throw shooting problems Drummond was suffering, Pistons owner and avid paranormal enthusiast Tom Gores secretly approached the producers of the hit series Ghost Hunting. Over the course of last season they set up specialized cameras throughout the Palace of Auburn Hills in an attempt to catch anything unusual. While pouring over thousands of photos and videos they came across this startlingly clear image of what was confirmed to be the astrally projected body of then Charlotte Hornets guard Stephenson.
When Detroit Bad Boys reached out to The Los Angeles Clippers and head coach Doc Rivers yesterday the only comment received was the cryptic, "Lance has been away for a while but we hope he comes back into himself here in L.A." One hopes that the success of Andre Drummond's free throw shooting through the first three games of the season is a result of Stephenson refocusing himself on basketball-related activities. The unenviable task Gores and the Pistons now find themselves with is trying to find out what the league intends to do with this information and if any fine can be levied on Lance for this bizarre behavior.
Be on the lookout for a special episode of Ghost Hunting this fall on the SyFy Channel: Astral Lance: The Haunting of Andre Drummond.
(Happy belated Halloween!)