Detroit Justise: Here's a postcard for Miami's Justise Winslow

I saw this image of Justise Winslow of the Miami Heat and it really, really got under my skin. Really. I was born and raised in Detroit and grew up with the Pistons so this pretty much annoyed the hell out of me from all sorts of angles. I fully admit that my immediate reaction was rage, but it's the time of year when we start to reflect on the past year and prepare to grow in new ways in the coming year, so I decided...

You know what? Let's make a sweet postcard for Justise Winslow to send to his friends that will give them a good idea about the city of Miami so they will go visit him!!

The thing is, much like I imagine most people who liberally crap all over Detroit, I've never actually been to Miami. So in order to make this postcard I'm going to have to rely on old, outdated misconceptions of Miami to guide me. Sounds fair.

So Justise, let's get started making a postcard for you! We of course all know through 80's TV that everyone in Miami dresses like Crockett and Tubbs from Miami Vice right? It's all pastels and no socks and t-shirts under sport coats which everyone down there calls blazers. They absolutely love neon too so I thought using the Miami Vice logo and making it look neon would be sweet! Then there are all the other famous people down there. Like the dude from CSI, who is, I'm pretty sure, actually a real undercover cop. I Googled "famous people Miami" and this dude with the leopard came up so I put him in there too because it would be badass to have a friend with a leopard. Going with the wild life theme I threw a couple flamingos in there too. I heard people have them as pets. Nice.

That kinda starts to round out the image of Miami for your postcard plus give people an idea of what kind of crew you'll be rolling with. Now I thought maybe your image could use an update too. People are very stylish down there I hear. I love your hair and it kind of reminded me of a guy who has similar hair but gives it a bit more "wow factor". He's actually an animated character but his name does include the word Heat, as in Miami Heat. Plus he wears this cool sparkly shirt which kinda reminded me of the shirt Dave Chapelle wore in his "Game, blouses" skit so I hooked you up with a new hair style and shirt and worked that into the postcard too. Boom.

To finish up the postcard and your updated look, I noticed you don't have a tattoo so I gave you one. Just one but it will help give you street cred when you do have to come to Detroit. Don't stay too long though. It sucks here.