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Unlocking the essential truth of Sam Hinkie's resignation letter

Combing through 13 pages of references to philosophers, bankers, investors and celebrities to find the truth.

Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Sam Hinkie is a verbose man. Seeing the writing on the wall and ever-dwindling power and confidence from his owners, the architect of the process didn't just resign, he delivered a tome that runs 7,000 words and 13 pages covering anything from philosophical beliefs, market-based bromides, personal failings, and proof, a lot of proof, that Sam Hinkie is smarter than you or I.

While I was a mild disbeliever in the process only because it involved inflicting so much pain for only a marginally increased chance at landing the true superstar the franchise thought it needed, I decided not to dive into the 13-page letter as some act of schadenfreude, but in an attempt to glean that one essential truth that could be useful to the Detroit Pistons.

Hinkie's tenure might have been over, it might have been doomed, it might have been a Quixote-level folly, but there had to be something there that we could learn from.

And I think I've found it.

Because not everyone has time to read a 7,000-page missive that's equal parts Jerry Maguire existential crisis and Rachel Gellar-level narcissism, I've distilled this one essential truth down to a simple meme.

It will truly unlock the inner truth, and provide a path to Valhalla.

"It's a big game of pitty pat."

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The truth shall set you free.