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What the hell happened in the Southeast Division

A comprehensive offseason breakdown of each team in the Southeast Division from someone who was sort of paying attention

NBA: Minnesota Timberwolves at Washington Wizards Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

The NBA offseason is nearly over so it is time to take stock of all the comings and goings for each team in the NBA. Detroit Bad Boys is bringing you expert analysis of it all, because even though we obsess about the Pistons we sort of pay attention to everything else as well.

It is time to review the Southeast Division, home to the (in order of last year’s standings) Washington Wizards, Atlanta Hawks, Miami Heat, Charlotte Hornets and Orlando Magic.

Washington Wizards

Offseason in 5 words

Wizards with a bench? Dangerous

Big Changes

The names Tim Frazier and Jodie Meeks might not sound exciting, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Wizards fans are squealing with delight. Honest to goodness competence. Bench players who might be able to score. It’s like a dream come true. Or, at the very least, it means the nightmare of Brandon Jennings and Trey Burke is over. And perhaps that is all the Wizards really need. When you have a starting five as good as Wall, Beal, Porter, Morris and Gortat, you really only need to work around the edges. They had the most anemic bench other than the Minnesota Timberwolves, and if they have finally found some scoring punch and minute eaters to rest the star, this team could battle with anyone in the Eastern Conference.

Better or Worse?

Better, but when you’re already as good as the Wizards were last season, the real question is if they’re good enough to the Eastern Conference finals and challenge the Cavs or Celtics when they get there.

NBA: Playoffs-Washington Wizards at Atlanta Hawks Jason Getz-USA TODAY Sports

Atlanta Hawks

Offseason in 5 words

Adios Playoffs on NBA TV

Big Changes

Goodbye, Paul Millsap. Adios Dwight Howard. Have fun cashing those big checks, Tim Hardaway. The Hawks are tired of being just good enough to lose in the second roud, and have committed to a rebuild. John Collins was a good value pick at No. 19 in the draft and the team scooped up decent assets for the right price in Ersan Ilyasova and Dewayne Dedmond. Both are good and neither is so good that they will prevent the Hawks from losing a lot of games. The team will look to develop some young talent, perhaps move some vets at the trade deadline and hope for some lottery luck. The era of perennial appearances on NBA TV in the playoffs appears to be over.

Better or Worse?

So, so much worse. But they know it.

NBA: Miami Heat at Indiana Pacers Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Miami Heat

Offseason in 5 words

$204 million to be meh

Big Changes

Pat Riley is apparently sick of going big game hunting and coming back staring at an empty dinner plate. He’s ready to ease into retirement fat and happy -- that is, if your definition of fat and happy is a gutsy, reasonably competitive team that always plays hard. Still, going all in on a team that went on an unbelievable 30-11 run to end the season seams dangerous. And it’s hard to be inspired by spending $204 million not on LeBron, Dwyane and Bosh, but on James Johnson, Dion Waiters, Kelly Olynyk and Josh Richardson. Just as Atlanta looks to give it’s persistent second-round knockout status, here comes Miami to take up the mantle.

Better or Worse

Worse, because they might be exactly the same but $200 million poorer and with limited flexibility going forward. I’m shorting my Waiters Island stock.

NBA: Atlanta Hawks at Orlando Magic Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Charlotte Hornets

Offseason in 5 words

As Dwight goes team goes

Big Changes

This team traded for Dwight Howard. And while Howard had an entirely respectable season last year, and the Hornets had zero big men once Cody Zeller went down, this move is a cause for concern. First, it might mean Howard starts in front of the better (and underrated) Zeller. Second, the Hawks took on the albatross deal of Miles Plumlee just to rid themselves of Howard’s presence. The Hornets were great bets to improve even before the Howard trade with Zeller back, drafting Malik Monk and the mothballing of the Frank Kaminsky, backup center experience. But Howard is a huge wildcard, and I’m not sure the Hornets can recover from a bad Dwight experience. Also, for the record, their only non-Kemba Walker point guard is Michael Carter Williams. That would concern me if I was a Hornets fan.

Better or Worse?

I’m going out on a limb (and using my Pistons homerism) and saying worse. Howard seems like a chemistry killer and he could claim Charlotte’s playoff hopes as his latest victim.

NBA: Orlando Magic at Toronto Raptors Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Orlando Magic

Offseason in 5 words

Still recovering from past mistakes

Big Changes

Orlando is buzzing with the addition of Jonathon Simmons. LOL. Just kidding. The Magic had a sleepy offseason, especially for such a bad team. But they really had no choice after a few years of some terrible decisions. Bismack Biyombo and DJ Augustin are on the books with major deals, Nikola Vucevic has a game built for 2008 and everything is just kind of sad. They cleaned out their front office, and Jonathan Isaac could turn out to be a great draft pick a couple years down the line. This year is all about sucking (again) but at least having better players around Aaron Gordon and Elfrid Payton, so they can finally evaluate them to see if they fit into the future of the Magic.

Better or Worse?

Better, if not in record then at least in the comfort of getting to see a whole season of Aaron Gordon as a power forward or center.