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Full disclosure — I know nothing. But it’s a funny thing while you wait what seems like a lifetime for basketball between the Conference and NBA Finals. You develop takes. And some of them are likely to be hot.
And I’m so damn bored waiting for basketball, I decided I might as well just share them with the world. I am fully willing to be ridiculed for these after they all blow up in my face.
Because, once again, I know nothing. Unless you’re talking about the new Twin Peaks, which I am totally all in on and can go DEEP on many theories.
10 Official Predictions Based on Zero Special Knowledge or Insight
- Warriors sweep the series 4-0 (not copping out and predicting a gentlemens’ sweep) and cement this postseason as among the most boring in recent NBA history.
- Warriors continue to cement their status as a dominant team with an inexplicable villain label and somehow Kevin Durant’s reputation will have suffered after winning his first NBA title.
- Draymond Green will dominate on defense and do one stupid thing that dominates headlines to an annoying degree, but otherwise keep himself out of the spotlight.
- Steph Curry will have an offensive explosion in a quarter that masks the fact that he also had eight turnovers.
- Kyrie Irving will play well, but not be anywhere near as offensively clutch as he was last offseason.
- Kevin Love will play at a B+ level in every game of the series but be on the wrong end of a few plays on defense that will drive NBA Twitter crazy.
- Klay Thompson will be good but not great in every game and fuel a weird narrative where Golden State fans, drunk in riches, will concoct annoyingly convoluted trade scenarios that have a zero percent chance of happening.
- One of the games will involve a combined score of more than 250 points.
- Mike Brown almost snatches defeat from the jaws of victory, but then Kevin Durant decides he’ll just take over a game and put it away.
- MVP - Steph Curry. LVP - Channing Frye. Media MVP — Doris Burke and Rachel Nichols. Media LVP - Any extended banter between Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy. Twitter Award — Brian Windhorst is going to attribute something to people close to LeBron James that is going to make everyone freak out.