When you think of visually stimulating jerseys across the NBA landscape, which teams come to mind? For me, I’m a big fan of the Blazers, Nuggets, Bucks, and honestly, a lot of teams’ fits in the association. One team who does not come to mind is our very own Detroit Pistons, and that ain’t right. They’ve rolled out the most uninspired wardrobe over the past 20-plus years and, dammit, we deserve better.
Whether it is their current home whites and away blues ... ya know, the ones whose Dunkin Donuts inspired type reads “Detroit” and “Pistons” and doesn’t match the typeface of their newly branded logo, or those terrible silver alternates and lazy Motor City black jerseys, because, ya know. .. the Raiders ... or something ... it’s, frankly, no longer acceptable.
Now, Detroit may get some new life when Nike rolls out the 2019-20 “Earned Jerseys,” which goes to teams that made the playoffs last season, but we’ve earned some additional visual relief throughout the season. We’ve earned a throwback. And no, not that retro teal horse costume that could cause an irreparable chasm within the Pistons fan base. We need to summon the power of Thor and any other electric-themed deity, and resurrect the LIGHTNING BOLT.
Just look at that beauty. It’s the diametric opposite of the jerseys they rock now. It’s flashy, bold, vibrant and it has a GIGANTIC lightning bolt going from the torso to the shorts. That typeface SCREAMS the late 70s in the most positive way possible. That’s a jersey that makes me want to party, bust out some classic rock, and dance my ass off into the night. And I want those shorts too. I don’t simply want them short, I want them short short. THAT is what I’m talking about.
And just how fast is lightning, anyways? My two second google search says that lightning moves at 220,000,000 miles per hour. Now maybe, just maybe, the Pistons will get inspired when wearing these jerseys and get going in transition. God knows their offense could use a bump in MPH.
Another bonus of the Lightning Bolt jerseys is that they don’t break Detroit’s blue and red color scheme, so when you’re in stadium wearing whatever Pistons merch you got, you’re still on brand, and won’t stick out like a sore thumb wearing teal. Really, teal? Teal!? When would you ever wear teal throughout your normal life. What even matches with teal?!
Now, I know what you might be thinking “but David ... we’ve already brought back the Lightning Bolt jerseys during the Goin’ To Work era,” but those jerseys didn’t do the originals any justice. They were reintroduced during the “I should be wearing a medium, but I’ll go with the 3XL” era. Doesn’t count.
Hell, even when the Goin’ to Work squad rocked these jerseys four times their stylist recommended size, they still looked pretty good. Just look at them chillin’ at the scorers table in the photo below. Gives me the chills.
Now imagine Blake, Andre, Sekou, Luke and Reggie wearing these in front of a sold-out crowd, as they dismantle the Raptors for the fourth straight game. Sounds pretty ideal to me.
If you’re team teal, or even worse, team red jersey - any red jersey (those are truly the worst), I’ll leave you with one lasting image, to change your mind.
*wipes single tear from eye