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NBA 2K Ratings for Detroit Pistons: John Henson is a top-5 player and I need to go cry

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It’s 2K Day and there’s nothing else to write about!

Detroit Pistons v Sacramento Kings Photo by Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty Images

The Detroit Pistons didn’t play any thrilling game 7s, win a playoff game to potentially save their season at the buzzer or hire a Hall of Fame point guard to be their head coach. In fact, they haven’t done much of anything.

Unrelatedly, it is NBA 2K Day and to celebrate the release of NBA 2K21, which will come out at some point, I swear, player ratings have been released for every player.

I decided to take a peek at the ratings for each of the Detroit Pistons players and supply my immediate reaction even though I literally played a 2K game in more than 15 years.

All information courtesy of 2kratings.com. If you have a problem blame them. Off we go!

The Detroit Pistons are a Tier 3 team.

Comment: Doing zero research, I believe this means there are a total of three tiers in the game.

The Detroit Pistons have an overall rating of 78.

Comment: This is higher than the Timberwolves, Hornets and Knicks. I think that’s incredibly disrespectful to the Hornets, to be honest.

Detroit Pistons Team Ratings

Inside Scoring: 71
Outside Scoring: 79
Athleticism: 80
Playmaking: 66
Defense: 57
Rebounding: 53
Intangibles: 85
Potential: 80

Comment: The only that initially gave me pause was the absolutely dreadful rating for rebounding. I assumed they were just subtracting Andre Drummond for a full year, but those boards have to go somewhere and Christian Wood is gonna get a lot of minutes. On the other hand, the Pistons were the worst rebounding team in the NBA last season so maybe they’re right on point. Let’s all laugh at the 85 intangibles score, instead. I like Blake Griffin as much as the next guy, but it’s gonna be him, Derrick Rose for half a season and then a whole lot of spit and duct tape.

Detroit Pistons Player Ratings

Breakdown: Player, Overall Score, 3-Point Score, Driving Dunk Score

Blake Griffin, 83, 61, 93

Comment: Griffin has an 83 overall score, which is the third lowest for any team’s best player. If he’s healthy he’ll easily eclipse that mark. Will he be healthy? Man, I hope so. A 61 score for 3-point shooting is laughable as you will soon see.

Derrick Rose, 81, 74, 35

Comment: Rose clocks in at No. 2 on the roster which is no surprise. Driving Dunk is obviously a lot different than finishing at the rim as he rates at 35. The real head scratcher, though, is the 74 point 3-point score. He’s far inferior from the perimeter to Griffin.

Christian Wood, 80, 83, 65

Comment: The ratings in 2K update in near real time during the season, and I look forward to Wood quickly rising up the overall board this season. His dunk score is comical.

Luke Kennard, 78, 83, 40

Comment: Kennard’s looking for a bounce-back and healthy season, and if he delivers he’ll likely turn into the second or third best player on the team with one of the better 3-point marks in the league.

John Henson, 75, 57, 75

Comment: Three reactions to this in the order they happened. 1. Oh my God, John Henson is the fifth-best player on the Pistons according to this dumb game. 2. Wow, they are probably correct, actually. 3. Oh my God, Henson is a free agent and he likely won’t even be on this awful team.

Langston Galloway, 75, 83, 55

Comment: Another free agent, and as much as. I enjoy watching Galloway and sort of hope he returns, I hope even more that he catches on with a playoff team. He’s earned it.

Bruce Brown Jr., 74, 77, 40

Comment: Dunk score too low and another player who could rise quickly up the player ratings as he slides into a secondary ball handling role and (crosses fingers) puts together a league average 3-point shot to go with his stellar defense.

Jordan Mcrae, 74, 82, 80

Comment: Oh, right, I forgot he was technically a Piston. Also another free agent and doesn’t seem like a Troy Weaver guy. That would make three free agents unlikely to return in the team’s top 8. So things are going great!

Thon Maker, 73, 74, 75

Comment: I’m hoping the team declines Maker’s option and lets him become a free agent. If so that makes four free agents in the top 9! However, the team has to spend money somehow and maybe they bring him back on the off chance he puts enough together that he’s tradable for a second round pick at the deadline.

Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk, 73, 86, 55

Comment: Svi ranks as the team’s best 3-point shooter, which is well deserved. He could see some marked improvement in the things the game cares about (aka eliminating his turnovers) if the team adds some decent point guards in free agency and the draft as seems incredibly likely.

Sekou Doumbouya, 72, 72, 87

Comment: Sekou was a feast or famine player in a rookie year where he was clearly overmatched on most nights. This is the first season we’ll be able to see what Doumbouya really might be and the tools he is working with are tantalizing. The game doesn’t seem to know what to make of him yet, and neither do I.

Tony Snell, 72, 4, 75

Comment: You’d think the game would show more respect to the player who had the greatest season from the free-throw line in NBA history. Alas ...

Brandon Knight, 70, 71, 60

Comment: Free agent. I don’t want to think about him as a member of the Pistons any longer. I had my fill the first time.

Justin Patton, 69, 60, 70

Comment: Literally forgot he was on the team until I saw him in these rankings. One player I hope they actually bring back and see what they have.

Jordan Bone, 69, 76, 50

Comment: Nice.

Khyri Thomas, 68, 70, 50

Comment: Sigh ... I had such high hopes for Thomas but it never came together. If he returns and this team is as bad as advertised, maybe he actually gets minutes and actually falls into that 3-point specialist role years into his career ala Reggie Bullock.

Louis King, 68, 76, 80

Comment: Is Louis King really that much worse than Jordan Mcrae?

Finally, and just for fun, look at this abomination the Pistons resorted to because it’s so hard to hype up the current version of the team.